


Hero Worship

by Cadette



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Action/Adventure, Coming Out, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Happy Ending, Hero Worship, M/M, May/December Relationship, Romance, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 04:31:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 52,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9106696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cadette/pseuds/Cadette
Summary: Wesley Crusher has a case of hero worship the likes of which may never be seen again.





	1. Chapter 1

It seemed especially hard to focus lately.

Wesley Crusher gazed at the control panel before him, swinging idly from side to side in his seat. The captain had requested that he maintain speed toward the next starbase, so Wesley could afford to let his mind wander a bit. It was late at night and the USS Enterprise thrummed dully all around him. Most inhabitants of the ship were fast asleep, but a small night crew peopled the bridge. Wesley had volunteered to take a couple of night shifts each week in order to get more experience in his position.

He liked the night shifts on the bridge. It was quiet, peaceful, and he liked the feeling that perhaps he was one of the only live beings in the universe. He was comforted by the ambient noise generated by the bridge.

There was one other reason why tonight was particularly good for him.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard, the ship’s captain, had retired for the night to get some much-deserved rest, and had left the bridge to his first officer, William T. Riker. Riker, along with Lieutenant Commander Data and a junior engineer, were the only ones on the bridge. Data took most night shifts as he did not require sleep, and Captain Picard rarely took a break. Wesley was used to working the night shift with Picard and Data. He focused on the task at hand when he was with them. He took interest in what he was doing and took advantage of the solitude of the night to ask questions and improve his knowledge.

However, tonight Riker was in command, and Wesley’s head was swimming with distraction.

“How much time left do we have until we reach the next starbase if we remain at this speed, Ensign Crusher?” asked Riker, his deep voice slicing through the silence like obsidian.

Wesley started a bit, and peered at the control panel. He tapped a couple of buttons to a new screen. “Eighty-six hours and fourteen minutes, sir.”

He turned to look at Riker, who stood thoughtfully for a moment, and then his face broke into that disarming smile. “We’re crawling.”

“It was the captain’s command, sir,” Data spoke up.

“He wants a good night’s sleep,” Riker said with a laugh. He came to stand right behind Wesley, resting his hands on the headrest of the seat. Wesley directed his eyes back to the control panel and felt the soft vibration of Riker drumming the back of his seat with his fingers. “I don’t suppose we’re in any rush.”

Wesley’s shoulders tensed and he let out a soft breath. Why did Riker have to smile like that? Why did he have to stand right behind Wesley all the time, close as can be? It was completely distracting. Wesley looked at the time and saw that there were three hours left in his shift. It was both thrilling and devastating.

Riker leaned a little closer to read some data on the screen, hovering over Wesley’s back, and Wesley swore he could feel the body heat. He bit his lip and moved aside slightly, so that Riker could get a clearer look.

“What’s this,” murmured Riker. He pointed to one section of the control panel which held status reports of the journey, updated every fifteen minutes. “You wrote these?”

“Uh…” Alarmed, Wesley scanned over the status reports to make sure there weren’t any glaring errors. Everything looked fine to him. “Aye, sir.”

“These are really detailed. Did you learn how to do this in your classes?”

“No, I picked up most of it here, by observing Mr. Data and his notes. Mine aren’t any good,” Wesley added quickly. “I’ll try to do better.”

Riker smiled again. “If you do any better, you’ll be captaining the ship.”

“Oh, no, sir,” Wesley replied, his ears burning. “Really, I’ll get it right.”

“It’s a compliment, Ensign,” Riker said, amused. He tapped Wesley’s shoulder lightly. “It’s yours.”

Riker let go of the chair and strode to the back of the bridge. Wesley let his shoulders relax and slumped a bit in his seat. He allowed himself a small smile. He could get drunk on just one compliment from Riker, even one as academic as that. It didn’t matter; Wesley had it bad for Commander Riker.

He briefly closed his eyes, replayed the compliment in his head, and smiled again.

 

**

Wesley slept until late morning the next day, and woke with bleary eyes. He sat up in his bed and scrunched his face. Late nights on the bridge always messed with his sleep schedule. He yawned and looked out the window, trying to plot the ship’s progress by the position of the stars. The ship was definitely going faster now .

Last night had been amazing. Toward the end of the shift, Riker had sent the engineer and Data back to their quarters to rest, and he and Wesley had waited for the early morning crew to relieve them together. Wesley rarely got to spend so much time alone with Riker, and he always found it easy and natural to converse with the older man when it was just the two of them, even as his heart beat rapidly in his chest. They talked about Starfleet, they talked about school, they talked about Wesley’s upcoming departure for Starfleet Academy. Wesley told him about some of the projects he was working on, and Riker had actually been interested. Not a bad night for Wesley Crusher.

His feelings for Riker were distracting and a pain, but not altogether unwelcome.

“Wesley?” came Beverly Crusher’s voice. “Are you awake? I just stopped by for a minute to eat something.”

“Yes, Mom,” Wesley replied. He crawled out of bed and wandered into the living room area of their quarters, still yawning and stretching. Beverly smiled at her son.

“Join me for breakfast?” she said.

“Maybe,” Wesley said. “Have to go to the lab and check on my specimens. They should be mature today.”

Beverly smiled again. “They can wait, believe me. Have some breakfast.”

“Fine, fine.” Wesley plopped down at the dining table and waited while Beverly requested two coffees and a stack of waffles from the replicator. They appeared immediately, and Wesley could smell the fresh, slightly artificial aroma. He gladly accepted the coffee and waffles.

“Now,” Beverly said as she sat. “Tell me how work was last night.”

Wesley tilted his head and nodded, trying to keep the color from his cheeks when he thought about his alone time with Riker. “Fine. Captain Picard actually took a break.”

“So it was you and Will.”

“And some others,” Wesley said quickly.

“He cares for you,” Beverly said, nodding. “Will does, about your education. It’s good for him to see you in action every once in awhile.”

“Ma, we’re on the bridge together all the time,” Wesley said, and he could absolutely feel the burning at the tips of his ears. He couldn’t handle his mother telling him how much Riker cared about him while sharing waffles.

“One on one. You know, it’s good for you to have that kind of time with someone like him.”

Wesley stared at his coffee mug; he knew where this was going. A hint that he needed a father figure in his life. Beverly was always subtly pushing Wesley on the older officers on the Enterprise, and that was fine when Wesley was younger. Wesley had learned a lot, and enjoyed the attention and company and experience they had to offer, in lieu of not having a father of his own. Wesley was older now. He was almost eighteen.

No, Riker was many things for Wesley, but he was not a father figure.

“Yeah,” Wesley said vaguely.

“Okay, okay, I know what it means when your eyes glaze over like that. Not another word from me.” Beverly took a last sip from her mug and stood. She cupped Wesley’s face for a moment and Wesley let her, because even though he was practically a man, she was still his mother.

“Back to it?” Wesley asked.

“Back to it. Let me know how it goes with those cultures. I have a special interest in that project.” Beverly smiled and pulled on her lab coat. “Will I see you for dinner?”

Wesley shrugged a shoulder. “Probably.”

“Try to make other plans.”

“You try to make other plans.”

“I could very easily,” Beverly said with a wink.

“I’m not as pathetic as you think,” Wesley protested, but then he laughed.

“I just want to see you while I still can,” Beverly said. “Soon you’ll be off to the Academy.”

“In a year.”

“A year is short when you’re as old as I am.” Beverly ruffed his hair, and with a final goodbye, she left for the sickbay.

Wesley sighed and cleaned up the table absentmindedly. His mind wandered back to that last hour alone with Riker. Wesley could never in his wildest dreams believe Riker would notice him in the way he wanted to be noticed, but it was nice to think about. Wesley admired Commander Riker so much, had admired him for years until he realized his hero worship was something much more. Riker being so invested in Wesley’s education was a bonus, and always an easy way to find excuses to meet. Wesley didn’t know how he’d gotten so lucky.

“Computer,” Wesley said quietly. “Locate Commander Riker.”

“First Officer William T. Riker is currently on the bridge.”

Wesley looked around the room, feeling restless. He did not have bridge duty that day, and it was agony knowing that Riker was there and he wasn’t. Was Riker drumming his fingers on the back of some other ensign’s chair? Wesley frowned. He was being stupid.

He had to go distract himself. This was getting bad.

 

**

 

Wesley sat at a table in Ten Forward, working on some homework. It was near dinner time and he wanted to finish his work before he went back to the lab to start another part of his independent study, one of his final admissions projects for the Academy. He’d been accepted early based solely on his merits as a student and acting ensign, and now all he had to do was take the assessment tests and pass the physical exam. Wesley was a hard worker and he enjoyed his studies and projects. They took up a lot of his time and he preferred it that way.

He took a sip from his mug and glanced at the door just as Lieutenant Geordi La Forge and Riker walked into the lounge. They took a seat at the bar and chatted as they waited for someone to take their order. Wesley was sitting toward the back of the lounge, mostly hidden from sight so that he could have the space and peace to work on his homework. Wesley set down his pencil and watched Riker closely, admiring the broad lines of his body and the handsome features of his face. Wesley remembered when Riker was clean shaven but he liked the facial hair, and often thought about how rough it would feel against his cheek.

Wesley shook his head and picked up his pencil again. As he bent his head down to work, a shadow spread over the table.

“You’ve been here for two hours. Aren’t you hungry?”

Guinan stood before him, a calming smile on her face. Wesley grinned and shrugged. “I lose track of time.”

“I know you do. I see you here all the time, and I take care of you, don’t I?” Guinan placed a small bowl of ice cream next to Wesley’s homework. “It’s not a nutritional dinner, but it’s something.”

“Thank you,” Wesley said. He let his eyes drift beyond Guinan, to where Riker and La Forge sat at the bar. They had been joined by two ladies that Wesley had never seen before. Wesley sighed lightly.

Guinan saw where Wesley was looking and she raised her eyebrows. “Craving some company?”

“No, no,” Wesley said. “Well. I don’t know.”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but do you have any friends your age? I always see you with senior officers. There aren’t a lot of kids here on the Enterprise, but there are some.”

Wesley took his eyes off Riker and looked at Guinan. “Some.” He cringed. “They don’t really… We don’t get along very well.”

Guinan nodded.

Wesley sighed. “I’m just more interested in my work. You know I had a girlfriend for a while. A couple of them. That was all right.”

“Just all right,” teased Guinan.

“Honestly, yeah, just all right.”

“Mature tastes,” Guinan said, nodding. “A model Starfleet Academy cadet. Just don’t always work too hard, okay? It’s okay to indulge in things that are ‘just all right’ once in a while.”

The ladies had left the bar, and Riker and Geordi were in deep conversation about something. Riker was facing Wesley, and if he would only glance over…

“Fine, I promise,” Wesley said with a smile. “Thanks for the ice cream. It’s much better than just all right.”

“Indulge while you can.” Guinan winked and wandered back to the bar. The movement caught Riker’s attention and his eyes landed on the corner where Wesley sat alone. He spotted Wesley and gave a short wave and smile. Wesley felt his belly swirl and he nodded back and gave what he hoped was a friendly smile.

Riker clapped Geordi on the back, took a last sip of his drink, and strode over to Wesley’s corner. Wesley panicked for a moment, knowing what a mess he had made, and he began gathering his papers together in a swift effort. Riker pulled a chair from the table and swung his long leg over the back, practically mounting the chair as Wesley stared in mild awe.

“Ensign,” Riker said with a smile.

“Sir,” Wesley replied.

“What are you working on?”

Wesley glanced over his mountain of papers and gestured around him. “Almost everything. Engineering homework, math project, and a confusing English thing.”

“And engineering and math aren’t confusing?”

“Of course not. There’s only one answer in those subjects. History and philosophy and stuff like that…” Wesley shrugged. “It gets confusing.”

“Hard to imagine anything confusing you,” Riker said.

You confuse me, thought Wesley.

“Anyway, none of it is any good yet. I need to study some more,” said Wesley. He closed one of the books to show that Riker had his full attention.

“Shakespeare,” said Riker as the book cover came into view. “That can definitely be confusing. I hated math, though. Necessary though it is, it was hard for me. Not interesting.”

“But it is!” Wesley exclaimed.

“I’ll never understand people like you,” Riker replied with a brilliant smile.

“Good, because we’re the ones who understand the universe.”

Riker shook his head, laughing. “A bold statement. I’d like to see you run the universe without history and philosophy and love, though.”

“Oh, those things are fine, too,” Wesley mumbled.

Riker stared at Wesley for a moment. “Maybe you could learn a thing or two from Shakespeare. I think he didn’t like math, either.”

Wesley grinned and felt exhilarated. “That is entirely his loss.”

“You’re hopeless, and you know Starfleet cadets have to be well rounded. I bet-”

“Number One, I need you on bridge,” came Picard’s voice over a speaker.

Riker tapped his combadge. “Acknowledged.”

Wesley frowned and his shoulders sagged a bit.

“Duty calls. We’ll continue this later, Ensign,” Riker said with what Wesley hoped was a tone of regret. “See you around.”

“Sure thing, sir,” Wesley said sullenly. He watched Riker walk away until he disappeared out the door. There was nothing left to distract him from his work, but there was no chance he could focus again. Riker had turned his brain into mush. That was something Wesley would have to master.

He looked at the time. He would be home for dinner, after all.

 

***

 

Riker made his way to the bridge, observing people as he went. He noticed that school seemed to be getting out soon, as there were more kids around, slacking off, ignoring their work. He remembered fondly that time of year, when everything seemed possible. A break from school, no responsibilities, only fun for a while.

“It’ll be great, the perfect way to end our last year,” he heard a girl saying to her friend. “I don’t have a date yet, and it’s so soon!”

“You’ll get one,” her friend said loyally.

“You’ve had a date for weeks! Easy for you to say,” the first girl moaned.

“Go alone,” her friend suggested. “It’ll be a fun dance anyway.”

“That’s so embarrassing. Okay, I have two days to find a date,” the girl said.

Riker, amused, kept walking. He didn’t grow up on a starship, so he wasn’t used to these kinds of events. His upbringing had been in a small town in Alaska on the planet Earth. He’d had many friends in high school, had dated girls and boys and even some visiting aliens. Those were the easy times.

He paused in his thoughts, thinking of Wesley Crusher. He was at the end of his school year and the end of secondary school on the Enterprise. He was almost eighteen. He was going off to the Academy as a cadet. Shouldn’t he be going to this event, too? But he had just been buried under a mountain of homework in Ten Forward. Wesley certainly wasn’t acting like the carefree senior student he should have been.

Riker entered the bridge and nodded hello to the captain and other senior officers. He took his seat beside Picard.

“Hello, Number One,” Captain Picard said. “I need to represent Starfleet in a meeting that was just scheduled, very last minute. We have a couple of ambassadors beaming aboard as we speak.”

“Anything of concern?” asked Riker.

“Oh, who’s to say. These things involving intergalactic trade are always tedious.” Picard stood and glanced around the deck. “You have the bridge. I will be back as soon as possible.”

Riker turned his gaze to the front of the bridge as the captain left, and he leaned on an armrest. “Commander Data, what’s our course?”

“Halting for the moment, sir,” Data replied. “As requested by the captain. It seems our plans could change, depending on the outcome of the meeting.”

“I see.” Riker’s mind wandered to Wesley again. “Data, it’s the end of the school year, right? Classes are finishing?”

“I believe so, sir. Our current stardate tells me that much. Also the observation of students not spending so much time in the classroom.” Data turned from his control panel. “In fact, I have an engagement in two nights to oversee an end-of-year social gathering.”

“A dance?”

“It can also be called that, yes.”

Riker laughed. “Are you a chaperone?”

“I volunteered. It will be interesting to observe. The celebratory rituals of young people is not something I am well informed about.”

“There seems to be a lot of that going around,” Riker said, thinking of Wesley.

“Also, I no longer have a cat to care for. I have extra time now,” Data went on.

Riker frowned. “Spot? Where did he go?”

“That is unknown to me, sir.”

“He ran away.”

“He is on the ship, presumably,” Data said, seeming disinterested.

“But that’s sad. Don’t you miss - Nevermind,” Riker interrupted himself. “I’ll keep an eye out for him.”

Data nodded. “That is much appreciated. His nutritional needs must be suffering.”

“I still can’t believe you’re going to chaperone a dance,” Riker commented. “What will you wear?”

Data looked himself up and down. “My Starfleet uniform, sir. Or perhaps a tuxedo.”

Riker gave a nod. “Go with the tuxedo.”

They resumed their work, and Riker wondered if Wesley even knew about the dance. Wesley could use some fun, Riker mused. He was, after all, overseeing Wesley’s personal growth. He felt he’d neglected that part of his duty. Whenever Wesley was on the bridge, he seemed well adjusted and fine. He took pride in his work and he did it well. Riker would have to make an effort to see the young ensign when he was off duty. A young man shouldn’t spend all his time doing schoolwork and tending to his duties. Riker certainly didn’t; neither had Captain Picard.

Riker leaned back and stared out the window. He’d mention the dance to Wesley, if only so Wesley could see Data in a tuxedo.

 

**

 

The next day, Wesley spent his morning in class and from the afternoon until evening, he worked as ensign on the bridge. The captain was giving him more duties as the school year came to an end, and as Wesley came closer and closer to turning eighteen. There was hardly a time where Wesley wasn’t working on something or another.

He finished up one of his status reports and submitted it to the database. He had completed those with flair since Riker had complimented him on it.

“Captain, I believe my shift is at an end. Will you require me to stay on?” Data spoke up.

“No, Mr. Data, that is fine,” said Picard from his chair. “You may go.”

“Thank you, Captain,” replied Data. He stood and paused by Wesley’s station. “I will see you tomorrow at the dance?”

Wesley made a face. He had hoped no one would ask him about it at all. “Maybe.”

“You should attend. It was planned for young people of your age at the close of your secondary schooling. I think you would enjoy it. It is something to be proud of, and something worthy of celebration.”

“Maybe,” Wesley repeated.

“I will be overseeing the event. I have been told it is formal wear. Do you think I should present in my Starfleet uniform, or something more formal?”

Wesley ground his teeth and stared at his control panel. “Both are fine.”

“I voted for the tuxedo,” said Riker from his seat. He sounded on the verge of laughter, and Wesley felt incredibly stupid.

“Mr. Data in a tuxedo would be quite splendid,” Picard commented.

“Ah, indeed. Then I will wear it,” Data said. “See you there, Wesley?”

“Sure.” Wesley just wanted the topic dropped, and for Data to leave. He had no intention of going to the dance, and he did not want to keep talking about it. “Not likely,” he murmured.

“I will pretend as though I did not hear that,” Data commented as he walked to the door.

Riker let out a laugh and Wesley blushed furiously. Even Picard seemed amused. Riker walked over to Wesley’s chair and put his hands on the back, in typical fashion.

“End of school, though. Have you finished all your work?” Riker asked more quietly.

“I took on so much extra credit for my early acceptance at the Academy, I still have a lot to do. Also some of my independent study projects go past the end of the year,” Wesley said. “Then I’d like to work on the bridge some more during my year between the end of school and Academy.”

“Oh, you’re interested in that?”

“If I was allowed.”

“We could work something out,” Riker said. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Wesley felt a little trill of emotion. “Thank you, sir.”

“Well, you earned it.” Riker paused. “You should have more fun, though. Go tomorrow night. You can give Data a hard time.”

Wesley grumbled and tensed his shoulders. He felt like a child. “I have better things to do.”

“Better than giving Data a hard time?” Riker laughed again. “I doubt it.”

“I’ll think about it.”

Wesley shifted in his seat, unable to control himself with Riker so close and talking quietly to him. It felt ridiculously intimate and Wesley felt he may have to excuse himself to be alone if it continued.

“Ensign Crusher, prepare to set to impulse,” Picard said, and Riker went back to his seat.

“Aye, sir,” Wesley said.

“Engage.”

 

***

 

The next evening, Riker found himself wandering the hallways of the ship with a flashlight. He was searching for Data’s cat, as it seemed Data wasn’t too concerned about it, and the missing cat just wasn’t sitting right on Riker’s conscience. It was late at night and Riker figured the cat was more likely show up when there were less people around. Much of the ship was busy with the end-of-school prom, and the rest were either working or asleep.

He had searched around the emergency food storage, and then the garbage stations. If the cat was hungry, it was sure to be in one of those parts of the ship. He hadn’t had any luck.

Now he was edging along the cargo units, moving silently. He shone his flashlight into corners and nooks. No cat.

He pressed into one of the smaller storage rooms, filled with crates. No cat.

At the point of giving up, he turned into one of the lab equipment supply rooms and shone his flashlight in the corner.

There he found not only Spot, but Wesley Crusher.

“Damn,” Wesley mumbled, squinting in the bright light.

“What…” Riker took the light off Wesley and took a step closer. “What are you doing in here?”

Spot struggled to flee from Wesley’s arms, but Wesley held on tight and sighed. “Nothing. Well, there was a piece of equipment I was looking for, but then I found Spot instead.”

Riker turned on the dim lights of the storage unit and stared at Wesley. Wesley was wearing dress pants and a dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a badly arranged necktie. A suit jacket was slung carelessly over a storage barrel nearby. His hair was coiffed neatly, his dress shoes shiny.

“And I found you both,” Riker managed.

“I wish you hadn’t,” Wesley said curtly.

“You look like you’re ready for a dance.”

Wesley shrugged. “I was. I went. I mean, I stayed for a short while. Talked to some people. Okay, I stayed for about five minutes. I left.”

Riker smiled. “And you came here.”

“Why would anyone else come here? No offense, sir, but I really thought no one in their right mind would come down here late at night.” Wesley paused. “Wanted to be alone.”

Riker nodded and instead of leaving, he sat down on one of the crates. “I was Prom King, you know. Do they still do that? It’s been a few years but maybe things have changed. Anyway, I was voted Prom King, and some girl was voted Prom Queen. It was going to be this whole thing. We were supposed to show up, receive our court, dance together. I didn’t even know the girl.”

“And?” Wesley asked in a small voice.

“I didn’t show up. It all sounded like a waste of time, so a couple of my buddies and I went to fly shuttles instead.”

Wesley let out a dry laugh. “Really?”

“Oh, yeah.”

“Then why did you push for me to go to this stupid dance thing?”

Riker smiled. “I thought you shouldn’t let down all those girls who would’ve wanted to dance with you.”

Wesley scoffed.

“It’s not that hard to believe,” Riker added.

“Dancing with girls… not for me,” Wesley mumbled.

Riker wasn’t sure if he had heard him correctly. “Don’t like dancing?”

Wesley fidgeted with Spot’s ears. “Dancing’s fine. Just… not girls.”

Riker nodded; he thought he understood. He was mildly surprised. Wesley had dated a few girls, had even had a girlfriend for a long while. He was young, Riker thought. Still figuring things out. Girls just weren’t a right fit.

Wesley stared at Riker, seeming afraid. Riker realized that Wesley probably hadn’t admitted that to anyone else.

Riker smiled in what he hoped with a reassuring way. “So you came here,” he said again.

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

“It’s as good a place as any,” Riker agreed. “Did you find the equipment you were looking for?”

Wesley remained silent and continued petting Spot.

“What’s going on?” Riker pressed gently.

“I don’t know. I have all this work to do, and I like doing it. School is ending in a week. I really like school, so I’m not happy it’s over. I’ll be eighteen which is great. I’m going to Academy in a year, but I still feel like I have so much to do here. Once I graduate Starfleet, who knows if I’ll be stationed on the Enterprise again? I doubt I would.” Wesley took a deep breath. “Then there’s that other thing I just told you.”

“About dancing?”

“Yeah, dancing.”

Riker nodded lightly. “That’s a lot.”

“And all these expectations for me to do stuff like dress up and go to dances when all I really want to be doing is working on the bridge or getting into one of my projects.”

“Everyone needs a break.”

“Yeah, I know. I take breaks. I just think stuff like dances are stupid,” Wesley said.

Riker laughed. “They are. It’s good to see you dressed up, though. You look nice.”

Wesley managed a smile, and his eyes lit up. “Thanks, sir.”

“If it makes you feel better,” Riker said, “the captain and I were going to increase your duties as ensign once school is over. We weren’t sure if you’d want to spend more time with us, but we really value your experience and contributions.”

Wesley’s smiler grew wider. “Of course I want to!”

“There are also some duties in the engineering room we’d like you to tackle full time. We feel you’re ready for it. You are a Starfleet cadet, after all.”

Wesley looked like a different person. He sat up straighter, smiled brilliantly, and Riker became aware of how fond he was of the younger man. The Academy was lucky to gain such a talented cadet, but Wesley’s absence on the Enterprise wasn’t something Riker was ready for.

“I’m glad the captain thinks I’m ready,” Wesley said.

“I do, too,” Riker replied. “There’s all sorts of things you can do as a sort of apprentice. There may even be a promotion to full ensign in your future, but you didn’t hear it from me.”

“Full ensign? But only Starfleet officers get to do that.”

“You’re exceptional.”

Wesley’s cheeks turned red. “No, I’m just…”

“You’re exceptional,” Riker repeated softly.

They smiled at each other, Wesley visually coming out of his fog.

“I can’t wait to start,” Wesley said excitedly. “When do I start?”

Riker laughed again. “Let’s get you graduated from school first, then we’ll have to see about getting you into a real Starfleet uniform.”

Wesley leaned his head back against the wall and looked so happy that Riker felt a warmth growing inside. Wesley was so different from the other kids his age - he was different from everyone, Riker realized. So devoted and eager to please, ready for anything. He was almost Riker’s exact opposite - gentler, more delicate, much more analytical. Wesley looked, analyzed, and thought hard before he leapt. Riker always dove in head first. Wesley stayed out of trouble, unless he could really help it. When Riker was young, he was always getting into brawls and roughing around with other kids his age.

Riker thought with certainty that he and Wesley could make a good team, some day in the future., if Riker was lucky enough for them to cross paths again.

“Stand up,” said Riker.

Wesley stood, holding Spot, and took a step toward Riker. Riker looked at him for a moment, then reached over to start fixing his necktie.

“No one ever taught you how to do this?” Riker asked.

“I can tie most useful knots.”

“That’s fine for a noose, but this is a tie,” Riker said. He straightened the necktie, finishing the last knot, and stood back to admire his work. “There, you’re ready for dancing.”

Wesley made a face.

“You look great. Now go home and get some sleep. We have you scheduled for an early shift on the bridge.” Riker paused. “One other thing.”

“Sir?” Wesley looked expectant.

“You really let down those girls and boys tonight, you know, Cadet.”

Wesley’s cheeks turned red, and he actually smiled. “I’d only be leading them on, anyway. Good night, sir.”

Riker took the cat from Wesley and nodded as he watched him pick up his suit jacket and leave the unit. It was pretty late, and Riker had to drop off Data’s cat and check in with the bridge one more time before he got to sleep. He also had an early shift in the morning.

 

**

 

Wesley was in terrific spirits the next morning, having been lifted up by his late night conversation with Commander Riker. Wesley was glad that Riker had found him. He wished he could frequently be alone with the older man like that. He also felt that something important had happened between them; Wesley had confided something in Riker, and Riker had been supportive and - even more important - not put off in the least.

Wesley had hardly been able to fall asleep last night. He’d carefully undone his necktie, remembering the soft touches of Riker’s hands as he had fixed it, and the closeness at which they’d been standing. Riker had said he looked nice. It was just a polite thing to say, but Wesley liked how it made him feel. He’d gone to bed, riled up and hot all over, replaying the encounter in his head over and over. As he’d twisted around in his sheets, trying to find that relief he gave himself nightly, he’d felt satisfied and happy for the first time in a while.

“Ensign Crusher, please review the altered coordinates and adjust the ship’s course,” Captain Picard said. “I believe it will save us half a day or so of travel. What do you think?”

Wesley raised his eyebrows studied the flight course. “Yes, though it will put us dangerously close to a traveling meteor shower. If I adjust the coordinates by five hundred kilometers, we can avoid the surrounding debris completely.”

“Make it so,” Picard replied.

“Aye, sir,” Wesley murmured. He made the proper adjustments and proudly turned around in his seat. He caught sight of Riker watching him, smile on face.

“Good work, Ensign,” Riker said with a solemn nod.

Wesley smiled back, wanting to say something, but there were about ten other people on the bridge. He settled for nodding back, and turning back to his station.

“Thank you for finding Spot,” Data said in the station next to Wesley. “I was told that it was you.”

“No, it was…” Wesley trailed off. He supposed he did find Spot. It just so happened that Riker had found Wesley. “Of course, Mr. Data.”

“We had to convince Data that he did in fact miss the cat,” said Counselor Deanna Troi from next to Picard. “He learned that’s something pet owners do.”

“Well, it does make more logical sense for him to be living with me, in my quarters, where he can get a regular supply of nutrients,” Data replied.

“A cat on a starship,” Picard said with a chuckle, shaking his head. “If only we had rats or mice for them to chase.”

“No, sir, that would not be beneficial at all,” Data said.

“It would be for the cats,” Riker replied.

“Cats,” Lieutenant Worf said from the back of the bridge with disdain.

Wesley laughed and stood to check one of the map screens on the bridge wall. He walked by Commander Riker, who was lounging in his chair with ease, eyes on Wesley. Wesley remembered their closeness last night, could almost feel Riker’s hands near his neck. He shivered and looked away, not wanting to trip and fall in front of everyone. Especially Riker.

He also could not help himself from gaping openly at Riker’s splayed out legs and lap. The urge to crawl on and curl up was almost incapacitating. Wesley groaned and had to remind himself to keep in control. His uniform was tight and unforgiving when he had those kinds of thoughts. There was no way he could hide an erection on the bridge.

“Well done, Ensign Crusher,” Picard said. “Having just gone over the new coordinates, I discovered that the ones I had originally given you would indeed have put us right in the middle of certain disaster. I’d like to say that was a test, but unfortunately.”

He and Riker shared a discreet look of approval that Wesley caught, and Wesley tried to hide his elation.

“Captain, I was thinking now is a good time to tell Ensign Crusher about the special assignment,” Riker said.

Wesley returned to his chair and spun around to face the senior officers. He felt everyone’s eyes on him and he swallowed nervously.

“You’re right, Number One. Wesley, Commander Riker and I have discussed a project that we would like you to co-head, as you have now graduated from school and will have a lot more time now to work with us on some projects,” Picard said, standing and walking to the center of the room. “In about two months, we will be in orbit around Struna QZ, an ancient planet previously colonized by the Federation.”

“The colony used to be thriving until communication was lost, but some inhabitants managed to escape on shuttle and reported that there was no one left on the surface,” Riker continued.

“We have been tasked with going to Struna QZ to see if this is true, and also to take some samples and find out why the planet no longer suited life for our colonists.”

“What do the escapees say?” asked Wesley.

“They say nothing,” Picard said grimly. “After extensive questioning and therapy, they say nothing. Our only information from them is that there is no one left there.”

Riker nodded. “It’s a bit of mystery, and as a lot of effort and time and technology went into colonizing the planet in the first place, we have to know what happened.”

Picard smiled. “Ensign Crusher, you and Commander Riker will be leading this investigation and make sure to be prepared when we reach Struna QZ’s orbit so that a small away team can go to the surface. All we know so far is that using the transport beam is not an option. The planet can only be entered by shuttle. This is something else we need to get to the bottom of.”

“The previous colonists will be no help during this investigation,” Riker added. “Consider there are no survivors.”

Wesley was speechless. Leading the investigation, and with Commander Riker?

“Are you sure I’m…” Wesley glanced beside him, and Data nodded encouragingly. “Are you sure I’m qualified?”

“I’d have no one else on this project with me,” Riker said. “You’re more than qualified, Wesley. I look forward to working with you.”

Wesley beamed and wondered how he had gotten so lucky - a major assignment from the captain of the Enterprise, and assuredly a lot of time spent with Commander Riker? Wesley felt a bit dizzy at the notion.

“Thank you, sir,” Wesley said confidently. “I won’t let you down. I’ll get started on researching Struna QZ as soon as I am off duty.”

“Be sure to report any and all findings to Commander Riker,” Picard said. “You’re his Number One for this assignment.”

Wesley turned to look at Riker, who was smiling at him so fondly that Wesley felt his stomach swirl. Counselor Troi watched Wesley and smiled in an understanding fashion. Wesley’s admiration for Riker was palpable.

“And now, continue our course, Ensign,” Picard said authoritatively.

Wesley faced the screen again, hardly containing his excitement. He’d go straight to the archives after he was finished on the bridge, and then he’d spend the evening reading the history of Struna QZ. He did not want to disappoint the senior officers, and he did not want to waste any time in getting to report to Commander Riker.

 

**

 

Riker walked into Ten Forward the next day to meet Wesley. Wesley had done some preliminary research on Struna QZ that he had mentioned wanting to go over. Wesley had suggested they meet in a conference room; Riker had suggested the less formal setting of Ten Forward.

He found Wesley sitting at a table, this time not hidden in the back corner, with charts and a couple of tablets laid out on the surface. Riker approached the table slowly, not wanting to startle the young ensign as he was engrossed in his work.

“Is this seat taken?” Riker asked.

Wesley looked up from his work and grinned when he saw Riker. “Hi, sir. I have a lot to show you.”

Riker eased into the chair across from Wesley and glanced over the table. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that you’ve already gone above and beyond.”

“Just some research to get started, Commander. I’ve pulled climate reports, blueprints for some of their bigger buildings, even civilian records that show results of several censuses taken during their time there. I found a lot, for a planet that’s such a mystery to us. I even found a detailed topographical map of the inhabited area with certain archaeological notations. Natural springs, ore deposits, botanical reports...’

“So we won’t be shuttling down there completely off our guards,” Riker said. “Wesley, I am really impressed.”

“It was all there for the taking,” Wesley replied modestly. “I could go back there now and pull even more. There was something about the occupations that the civilians held, but that will mostly show up in the censuses - less detailed, of course.”

“You’ve done enough,” Riker said with a smile. “I think we’ve got an excellent start here.”

“If you’re sure.”

“I have no doubt.” Riker signaled a Ten Forward employee to the table. “I’ll have a scotch, neat. Wesley will have…”

Riker nodded to Wesley, and Wesley said, “A lime seltzer, please.”

Almost immediately, the server returned with their drinks, and Riker leaned back in his chair, sipping peacefully. Wesley set his drink aside and bent over his charts again.

“Tell me about their climate,” Riker said.

Wesley nodded and looked up. “Originally they started as an open air community. The air and atmosphere were conducive to human life. People were thriving, crops were thriving. I see here that after about fifty years, they decided to build an air-tight, climate-controlled dome over everything. There’re no notes on why they made this choice. I can only assume they found the long term effects of breathing Strunian air was detrimental to their health.”

Riker set his glass down and thought for a moment. “We’ve seen choices like that made before. It was even talked about as an option for some of Earth’s more populous areas.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I remember it well. Nothing came of it. Earth is rather suited to human life, to any Carbon-based lifeform. We can’t know about Struna QZ, though. I know that there was very little research done before they colonized. They didn’t even consider any longitudinal tests.”

Wesley frowned. “Why the rush?”

“There aren’t any records on that,” Riker said. “It may be a hostile environment. We don’t know.”

“The colonists were volunteers, from Earth and other starships like the Enterprise,” Wesley said. “They didn’t know what they were getting into.”

Riker nodded absently.

Wesley put down his chart and took a sip of his seltzer. “Colonizing was a gamble. I would never have volunteered for something like that.”

“Why not? We have the technology to deal with and escape hostile situations. We have proper exit plans.”

“These people didn’t.”

“They couldn’t have known that.”

“Without knowing, who would put themselves into that situation?” Wesley pressed.

“They didn’t know they were in that particular situation,” Riker said sensibly.

“I still think it’s reckless.”

“Of course it’s reckless. New colonization is always somewhat reckless.”

“Then why do it?”

Riker frowned. “You really think that?”

“No, it’s just - I’m not sure if they were brave, unprepared, or just incredibly stupid,” Wesley said.

“All of the above.”

They smiled at each other.

Wesley nodded quickly, his cheeks flushed, and bent his head down to study again. Riker swished his glass around and took an easy sip. He was sure this was proper, real whisky; Guinan always had some behind the counter, ready for her favorite customers.

He looked at Wesley again, watched him meticulously pore over his notes and records. Picard had shown some hesitation in giving Wesley such a project, but Riker had had no doubts.

“So, Number One,” Riker said playfully. “What do you propose we do now?”

Wesley pushed his work away from him. “I need a break.”

“That’s the smartest thing I’ve heard you say, and that is saying something,” Riker told him. “What do you do to relax?”

“I have a few holodeck programs. I don’t use them much lately, but when I first got on the ship it was a good way to transition. They’re just stupid, simple things. One is this small town in Illinois, on Earth, where my father was stationed for a bit. We were there for Christmas. I barely remember it but it was nice, you know?” Wesley shrugged. “Another is something I created. Did you ever read The Little Prince?”

“I don’t know it.”

“It’s a French kid’s book about an alien explorer. He went from planet to planet, meeting new people. He just wanted to see something different. He lived on a planet so small that if he kept moving, he could see the sun set over forty times.”

“Alone?”

“Yes. Well, he also had a flower and some sheep.”

Riker laughed. “You’re the little prince.”

Wesley ducked his head. “Nah. I liked the book a lot, though.”

“So you can speak French?” Riker asked, impressed.

“No, I’m awful with languages. The book was translated.”

“Sounds like a pretty reckless adventure your little prince went on,” Riker said with a wink.

“It’s fiction,” said Wesley, smiling. “No consequences. What about you?”

Riker finished his drink and set the glass down. “I read. I play instruments. I play sports when I can,” he said. “Usually when I can find an opponent. I used to have a few holo programs, but I can’t even remember what they are anymore. I used to travel with… an old friend. I like to meet new people and pick their brains. I haven’t done much of that lately, though. I don’t have a lot of free time.”

Wesley gazed at Riker, brows knit. “You don’t have to be sitting here with me.”

“I know,” Riker said.

“Oh,” Wesley murmured. He started to organize his charts into one neat pile and grabbed the tablet. “We can meet some other time to go over this. I could probably get some better information.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Riker asked.

“This is your time off,” Wesley said. “I don’t want to make you work.”

“Does it look like I’m working?”

Wesley relaxed and took a long sip of his seltzer. “So who did you used to travel with?”

Riker smiled. “Deanna.”

“Not anymore?”

“No, not anymore.”

“Oh,” Wesley said again.

Riker hadn’t thought of his travels with Deanna in a long while. When they were together, they used to go on vacations endlessly, to visit her home planet Betazed, to visit Alaska, or to explore new resort planets that Riker thought Deanna would enjoy. They had been desperately in love. Then one day they weren’t. Life was funny that way. She was still one of the most important people in Riker’s life, because she understood Riker in ways that no one else could, and she knew more about Riker and his past than anyone. They had a hold on each other, but it wasn’t romantic anymore.

Riker directed his attention to Wesley, so young and eager, and apparently very eager to please. Riker wanted to be the hero that Wesley thought he was; it was a hell of a thing to live up to.

“I’ll have to read The Little Prince,” Riker said. “I have a feeling I’ll understand you more if I do.”

Wesley’s eyes lit up and he laughed. “Maybe. Am I such a mystery?”

“I’m beginning to think you are.”

Riker left Ten Forward that night feeling calm, more relaxed than he’d felt in ages. He’d genuinely enjoyed his time with Wesley, had enjoyed talking with him and watching his interactions. He could hardly think of Wesley as the kid who’d come aboard the Enterprise those years ago. Wesley was an equal. The fourteen years between them didn’t seem to matter.

He let himself into his quarters, shaking his head, mystified. The kid had gotten into his head.


	2. Chapter 2

“He’s a changed person,” Beverly said fondly. “He was in such a funk before, with school ending. You know he loves his studies.”

“Indeed,” Captain Picard replied. “Wesley is more than capable to carry out a lot of the assignments we have around here. I’m happy to give him something to do, some experience to bring with him to Academy. We benefit as well, you know.”

Beverly smiled. “Jean Luc, it means the world to me that you have taken Wesley under your wing.”

“You can also thank Commander Riker,” Picard said. “He took on the project and requested to work with Wesley.”

“Oh, Will. You should hear Wesley at home. He talks about Will nonstop. All I hear about is what Commander Riker did, or what he said,” Beverly said, shaking her head and laughing. “He’s always admired Will so much. Working closely with him is like a dream come true.”

“I am grateful for Commander Riker. You know I don’t work very well with children.”

“Wesley is hardly a child, Jean Luc.”

Picard nodded. “No, you’re right, of course. Thanks to Wesley, we have a successful away mission planned.”

Beverly frowned. “He talks about that, too. Wesley knows that he isn’t going down to the surface, right? Please tell me you won’t let him.”

“No, no. We have Commander Riker and Mr. Data assigned for that. Wesley isn’t ready for that kind of risk.”

“He’s all I have, Jean Luc,” Beverly said. “If anything happened to him…”

“It won’t,” Picard replied, putting a hand on her arm.

Wesley entered the room and smiled at his mother and the captain. “Mom, sir.”

“We were just talking about you,” Beverly said. She put an arm around her son and squeezed. “All the hard work you’re doing.”

Wesley rolled his eyes. “Thanks, Mom. Sir, I just returned from making final plans with Commander Riker about the Struna QZ project. He thinks we’re just about ready.”

“Good. We’ll be in the Strunian orbit within days. Mr. Crusher,” Picard said, his tone serious. “I want to be clear about something. You know that you won’t be going to the surface to finish the mission.”

“Oh.” Wesley’s face fell. “I figured.”

“We could never send someone on an away team until they were ready,” Picard said. “Especially after what happened the last time we asked you to come.”

Wesley frowned. He remembered all too well what had happened a few years before when he had beamed down to Rubicun III with the senior officers.

“I’ve learned so much since then,” Wesley protested. “I’ve grown. I know everything there is to know about Struna QZ.”

“There is a certain protocol we follow in Starfleet,” Picard said. “You’re not a full officer yet. We can’t risk it.”

Wesley sighed. He knew there was no use arguing, and he had known all along that he wouldn’t be going to the surface. “Yes, sir.”

“I’ll leave you now. See you on the bridge, Ensign,” Picard said with a little bow. “Beverly.”

When the captain had left, Wesley sat down on one of the chairs in their quarters and sulked a bit. Beverly came over to him and put her hand on the nape of his neck.

“It doesn’t seem fair, Mom,” Wesley said. “Commander Riker and I have worked so hard on this.”

Beverly smiled. “You heard the captain. Someday you’ll be going on missions like this all the time and your poor old mom will worry herself to death.”

“I just thought I had proven myself.”

“You led this mission with the ship’s First Officer, didn’t you? That shows an unbelievable amount of trust and confidence in your abilities.”

“I bet it’s not even an important project.”

“Stop that.” Beverly smoothed Wesley’s hair and sat next to him. “Don’t sabotage yourself just as you reach the finish line.”

Wesley nodded. “I guess. I’m gonna head to the records library and see if there’s anything else that will be useful to them.”

“I can’t imagine you left anything, but all right,” Beverly said. “Will you be home late?”

“I have to check in with Commander Riker and then I’ll be home.”

Beverly smiled. Always Commander Riker. “Don’t let him work you too hard.”

Wesley’s cheeks flushed. “Bye, Mom.”

He exited the quarters and Beverly sighed. One day she wouldn’t be able to protect him from danger.

 

***

Instead of going to do more research, Wesley went to the shuttle bays to watch progress on the vessel that would fly down to Struna QZ. There were a few engineers milling around the shuttle, outfitting it with anything they thought would be necessary to land on Strunian soil. Wesley sat on a box to the side and quietly surveyed the engineers.

“Oh, hi Wesley,” said Lieutenant Commander La Forge. “What’s new?”

“Just checking on the shuttle for the Struna QZ mission,” Wesley replied. “You’re really expecting a dangerous environment down there, huh?”

Geordi shrugged. “Better to be safe. We were told to juice up this shuttle with everything we got. I didn’t ask any questions. Apparently we can’t even beam to the surface, so who knows what’s down there.”

“I have an idea of what’s down there,” Wesley said sullenly.

“Oh, yeah? Hurricanes and tornadoes and dinosaurs and a surface made of quicksand? ‘Cause that’s what this shuttle is ready for,” Geordi said with a chuckle. “She’ll stand just about anything.”

“It won’t be anything like that,” Wesley explained. “The only wild card is the atmosphere and whether or not it can sustain life.”

“That’s somewhat important.”

Wesley shrugged. “Sure.”

“Well, she’s ready to go,” Geordi said. “Ready for anything. Why the long face?”

“Just bummed I won’t be part of the mission.”

“I see. Want to check out the shuttle anyway and give it your stamp of approval?”

Wesley nodded and walked over to the loaded-up craft. He circled the perimeter, admiring all the lengths they had gone to in order to make the shuttle impenetrable. When he came back out to the front, he almost walked right into Commander Riker.

“Just the man I wanted to see,” Riker greeted him with a big smile.

“Likewise,” Wesley replied, beaming back. “I wanted to see how the shuttle was coming along.”

“It looks great,” Riker said, nodding. “We went a little overboard with the safety precautions. We don’t know what we will encounter down there. Research can only tell you so much.”

“I heard it’s you and Mr. Data on the away team.”

“It’s just a short mission.”

“So why…” Wesley bit his lip. “Why couldn’t I go?”

Riker frowned. “Come over here, let’s talk.”

They walked over to a corner of the shuttle bay and sat, watching the engineers put finishing touches on the craft.

“I know it’s stupid of me to ask. Of course I couldn’t go,” Wesley said.

“You are absolutely qualified to go.”

“Then…?”

“Captain’s orders,” Riker said. “I can only do so much.”

Wesley nodded, and they were quiet for a while, sitting companionably side by side. Wesley wanted to scoot closer, to feel his body pressed against Riker’s. Riker pulled out a small flask from his pocket and took a sip.

“Bourbon-to-go,” Riker explained. He paused. “Want a sip?”

“Oh, no thanks.” Wesley frowned. “Wait, really?”

“Why not? A sip won’t kill you.”

Wesley nodded, and Riker held the flask to his lips. The warm, bitter liquid slid down Wesley’s throat and he coughed a couple of times. Riker chuckled and patted his back.

“It goes down easier when you get used to it, I swear.”

“That’s not synthehol,” Wesley managed.

“No, no. It’s real.”

Wesley swallowed once more, and the burn seemed to fade. He felt a little clarity come over him, a warm wave. He surreptitiously slid closer to Riker, their shoulders bumping.

“Thanks for working on this with me, Wesley,” Riker said.

Wesley, feeling brave, said, “Someone told me that you requested to work with me.”

“I did,” Riker said without hesitation. “You’re smart, level-headed, and an engineering genius. Actually, you’re just a genius in general.”

Wesley held out his hand, and Riker gave him the flask. Wesley took another sip, and this time he didn’t cough. He handed the flask back to Riker and smiled.

“It was great working with you,” Wesley said. “I hope we can do it again.”

“I’ve got plans for it.”

“Tell me.”

“Well, we’ll see how this mission goes, and then I’ll tell you.”

Wesley groaned. “But I’m your Number One. I should know everything.”

Riker turned and smiled wide, his eyes flashing. “I think you’ll be pleased.”

Wesley didn’t know what they were talking about anymore. He felt Riker’s warmth, their intimacy, the bourbon running through him. Could this really happen between them? Wesley doubted it; he was sure Riker thought of him as a child, someone to be overlooked except for some special projects.

“Commander,” said Geordi from across the bay. “I’d like your advice on how many handheld defense weapons you’d like on board.”

Riker kept his gaze on Wesley. “All right,” he replied. He nodded to Wesley. “Until we meet again, Number One.”

Wesley watched him walk away, his belly swirling wildly. He let out a jagged breath and slowly stood. He had to get back to his quarters quickly before he would explode.

 

**

 

Riker, Data, Geordi, and the captain were in the conference room, going over final details for the Struna QZ mission.Wesley was to meet them later, after he finished up with an end-of-year project and dinner for school. Riker was anxious for Wesley to join them. Aside from it being their project, he liked having Wesley around. He liked Wesley’s input, and he really liked Wesley’s smile. It was a dangerous way to feel about a junior officer, but Riker didn’t see any harm in a little flirtation. They worked well together.

So Riker was a little preoccupied as they talked about the plan, trying to make it as quick and efficient as possible. They would shuttle down, land, and take samples without ever leaving the craft. The atmosphere was too unknown, especially since the previous colonists had chosen to build an air tight dome over the civilization.

“We must be cautious,” Picard said. “There may even be survivors down there who will opt for contact. We are close to the planet now, but our scanners cannot cut through the dense atmosphere any better than our transport beam can.”

“I wish we could figure out a beam,” Geordi said, shaking his head. “Once you’re down there, we’ll see if we can pick up your signal. We’ve installed sensors all over the shuttle.”

“I do not believe the atmosphere will allow for that,” Data said. “We could-”

Data stopped mid sentence, blinked, and then shook his head quickly.

“Mr. Data?” said Picard.

“Sir, once we reach the surface, we will find the flowers you have been searching for.” Data blinked again. “I believe fresh churned butter will suffice.”

The officers looked at each other.

“Are we still dancing later this evening?” asked Data. He gradually slowed, his head dropping to the table, and then he closed his eyes and hung limp.

“Data?” Geordi said. He leaned across the table and poked Data’s head. Data didn’t respond. “Wow.”

“What is it?” Picard asked. “What’s happened?”

Geordi frowned. “I think it’s time for a total tune up and reinstall. Data just had the android equivalent of a stroke.”

“On the night before our mission?” Riker asked. “When will he be functional again?”

“A few days, with all follow up diagnostics in place.”

Picard put his head in his hands and sighed. “We can’t postpone this mission. It’s out of the question. This is a mission of convenience, a favor the the Federation. We will not be in its orbit for another… Well, for a very long time”

Riker raised an eyebrow and looked around. He had a simple solution.

“Mr. La Forge, I assume you cannot accompany Commander Riker, as you will need to be here for Data’s procedure,” Picard said with a frown.

“Sorry, captain.” Geordi stood by Data’s side, attempting to pull the android’s arm over his shoulders to a standing position.

“And I need Lieutenant Worf with me in the bridge in case we need to ward off any hostiles.” Picard sighed.

“Captain…” Riker began.

“No, I can’t accompany you, Number One.”

“I know that, sir. I have another suggestion. There is only one other person who is truly qualified.”

Picard shook his head. “No. The answer is no. Ensign Crusher is not ready.”

“He is, though. Don’t you think it would be a good experience? This mission is hardly a big risk. Wesley knows everything there is to possibly know about the planet. He’s worked harder than anyone on this assignment. He’s an early acceptance to Starfleet Academy. ” Riker looked at Picard imploringly. “I’d be there. I’d make sure nothing happened.”

“You can’t be sure of that.”

“I’ll do my damn best trying.”

“Wesley Crusher, away team officer,” Picard murmured. “It sounds like a headache to me. Think what his mother will say.”

“Captain, you know Wesley is perfect for this mission.” Riker smiled. “It’ll be a great learning experience.”

“Let the kid go,” Geordi said in a strained voice, still attempting to lift Data up.

Picard closed his eyes briefly. “All right, I’ll allow it. I’ll regret it, but I’ll allow it.”

Riker grinned. “I’ll tell him. Right after I help Geordi drag Data down to the lab.”

An hour later, Riker strolled into Ten Forward where he had asked Wesley to meet him. He found Wesley sitting at a table in the back again, sulking and eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream. He sat down without a word and Wesley looked up, nodding hello, his mouth full.

“Ensign,” Riker said solemnly.

Wesley set down his spoon, and Riker noticed how handsome the younger man looked that night. His hair was perfectly coiffed, his uniform pressed and snug. Riker admired beauty, and Wesley was something to admire these days.

“Commander,” Wesley said rather stiffly.

“Good ice cream?”

Wesley shrugged a shoulder. “It’s fine. Are all the plans for tomorrow finished? I was disappointed the meeting ended before I could get there.”

He’s angry, Riker thought, amused.

“I don’t appreciate being left out of a lot of things, actually.” Wesley took another bite of his ice cream, this time smearing some on his cheek.

“Oh, really?”

“No. I worked harder on this project than anyone, and I’m not happy about being left on the Enterprise while Data gets to go down and finish my work.”

“He’s an android. I don’t think he sees it that way.”

“Oh, he does,” Wesley said crankily. Riker watched the chocolate on Wesley’s cheek move up and down as he spoke. “You didn’t fight for me to go, either. I know you didn’t.”

“I tried.”

“So now, I don’t even know if I’ll be invited onto the bridge when you and Data are down there. Maybe I’ll just hear a story about it later.”

“I’m a very good storyteller.”

“Maybe I don’t want to hear about it.”

Riker smiled and waited for more.

“I spent hours digging up those old, nasty records for this old, forgotten planet. I didn’t sleep some nights. You and the captain said I had an important assignment, and I took it seriously. Sure, I knew all along I probably wouldn’t be able to be part of the away team, but really? To not even wait for me at the final meeting?” Wesley sighed and took another bite of ice cream, smearing more on his face. “I am just exhausted and tired of being overlooked.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

“You don’t believe in me.”

Riker frowned slightly. This had gone on long enough. “Wes…”

“No, I don’t want to hear about it. I’ll be okay when the mission is over. I just feel like I ran the race and Data is crossing the finish line, and no one cares.”

“Wesley, stop it.”

“It’s how I feel, I can’t help it. You know what? It’s probably better this way. I’d do something to fuck up the mission, anyway. I-”

“Wesley, you’re going.”

“-don’t think that… What?”

Riker put on a serious face. “Ensign Crusher, you have been called upon to accompany me, your commanding officer, on a research mission to Struna QZ tomorrow morning.”

“You’re joking. This isn’t nice.” Wesley frowned.

Riker bit back his laughter. “I’m not. Although now I’m not sure if I want to be alone in a small shuttle with you, if you’re going to be like this.”

Wesley’s shoulders sagged. “Sir…”

“Bright and early tomorrow morning. Do you think you can handle it?”

“I…” Wesley’s face lit up, and Riker’s heart beat a little faster. “Yes. Yes, I accept.”

“Well, there’s one other thing.”

“Anything!”

“Here.” Riker reached across the table and tapped Wesley’s cheek. “You’ve got chocolate ice cream all over your face. I run a clean ship and I won’t allow that kind of behavior.”

Wesley’s hand went quickly up to his face and his cheeks colored. “Here?”

“Just… here.” Riker touched the side of Wesley’s face, his fingers lingering just a moment longer than appropriate. Wesley’s eyelashes fluttered down and their eyes met.

“Bright and early, Cadet,” Riker said, standing up. “I’ll see you in the shuttle bay. Don’t be late.”

Wesley nodded dazedly. “Good night, sir.”

Riker backed away, their eyes still locked, and then he turned around and left Ten Forward. As he walked to his quarters, he couldn’t get Wesley off his mind. So cute when he was petulant, thought Riker. Just charming.

The next day would be interesting.

 

**

 

Beverly held tightly around Wesley’s neck as Wesley waited patiently for her to let go. His mother had gotten up extra early to see Wesley off, and she had been making passive aggressive comments the whole time about how he shouldn’t go. Wesley had listened with half an ear, too excited about his first real mission - especially the fact that it was with Commander Riker.

“There’s no shame in being scared,” Beverly said. “You can turn around right now.”

“Mom, I’m fine,” Wesley said. “I’m not scared.”

“Of course you’re not.” Beverly held her son at arm’s length and smiled. “I’ll be up here the whole time, you can talk to me whenever you want.”

Wesley made a face and stepped away from her. “I know. I’ll be fine.”

Beverly sighed. “All right, all right.”

They walked over to the loading dock for the shuttle and Wesley gave his mom one last kiss on the cheek. “See you when we’re finished.”

“Wesley…”

“Mom, I’ll be fine.”

Beverly nodded just as Commander Riker came strolling over, smiling. “Good morning, Crushers.”

“Sir,” Wesley replied, brightening.

“Will, can I talk to you a minute?” Beverly said.

“Mom, no. Don’t.” Wesley frowned.

Riker turned to Beverly. “I know what you’re going to say. I promise I will guard Wesley with my life.”

“That’s not enough,” Beverly said.

“It’ll have to be. It’s a short mission, Beverly. We’ll be back before you know it.” Riker nodded toward the shuttle. “It’s time to board.”

Wesley grinned and followed Commander Riker, giving his mother one last look of assurance. They entered the shuttle, and Wesley admired the blinking lights, the shining control panel. There were two seats at the front of the shuttle for the pilot and copilot. Stored in back were multiple crates filled with supplies and emergency provisions.

Riker took a seat in the pilot’s chair and gestured to the one beside it. “Number One?”

“Aye, sir,” Wesley said. He sat down next to Riker and strapped himself in, squirming with excitement in his seat.

“Are you ready?” Riker asked, eyes shining.

“Completely ready.”

“Seal up the shuttle,” Riker said into his combadge. “All systems ready.”

Wesley directed his attention to the control panel and grinned with excitement, not bothering to hide how happy he was. The door closed and sealed, and the shuttle hummed to life all around them. Riker initiated liftoff as Wesley checked on all the shuttle functions, and they began to move.

“See you later, Enterprise,” Riker said, touching his combadge. “We’re off.”

“Standing by on bridge,” came Picard’s voice. “Picard out.”

Wesley took a deep breath and bit his lip, staring straight ahead. They exited the shuttle bay and flew toward the murky, hazy planet.

“How much time till touchdown?” Riker asked. He was all business, and Wesley found that thrilling.

“Two hours and seven minutes, sir,” Wesley replied. “Fifteen minutes until atmosphere breach.”

“This might be tough. Look at that fog,” Riker said. “Prepare for forced entry.”

“Aye, sir.” Wesley adjusted a couple of coordinates, attempting to find the easiest entrance. “There’s a storm, sir. It seems to be moving, and expanding.”

“When did it develop?”

“This storm is old. I can’t tell where the oldest part is.” Wesley squinted, and made a couple more adjustments. “There’s a field of electricity we’ll have to neutralize and slide through.”

Riker nodded. They flew in relative silence for some minutes, the mission going smoothly. When they reached the atmosphere, Riker switched to manual and moved forward in his chair.

“Coordinates set for smooth entry,” Wesley said. “It’s the weakest part of the storm.”

“And the electricity?”

“Focusing on a probe I released a bit ago.”

“Excellent work,” Riker said with a smile. “Let’s go.”

They breached the atmosphere, fighting turbulence as they went, and felt the pressure change inside the cabin. Wesley rapidly fiddled with the controls, fixing the cabin to fit the new environment.

“Successful entry,” Riker murmured. “Locking onto coordinates, preparing for gradual descent.”

“Updating coordinates,” Wesley replied. “The storm is moving toward as, as if sentient.”

“Damn.”

Wesley watched out the window and indeed, the storm did seem to be chasing them. Wesley sent out another probe to distract the storm, and for a moment, the storm held off.

“I think it’s reacting to us,” Wesley said. “I think we’ve… upset it.”

Riker nodded. “No wonder the transport beam can’t cut through this.” He tapped his combadge. “Riker to bridge. We’re in the middle of what appears to be a sentient storm.”

“Sentient,” came Picard’s staticky voice.

“Ensign Crusher has sent out several probes, attempting to distract it. Is there anything you can do from up there?”

“We’ll work on it. Picard out.”

Riker sighed and looked out the window. “Send another probe.”

“We only have three more.”

“Send one.”

“Aye, sir.” Wesley obeyed and watched fretfully as the storm only seemed momentarily distracted.

“Send another.”

“I don’t think-”

“Send it.”

Wesley sent another probe into the abyss, and this time nothing happened. “Sir, I think it knows what we’re doing.”

Riker cursed under his breath and touched his combadge. “Riker to bridge. The storm is learning our behavior.”

“We’re… on some.... Worry, we….” Picard’s voice was so full of static they could barely understand him.

“Wesley, jump on manual. I need two pilots for this.” Riker stared straight ahead grimly. Wesley steered along with Riker, cutting through cloud formations and downpours of rain. A massive bolt of lightning danced before their craft.

“Beginning to understand why they built a dome,” Wesley said.

“Uh huh. Built a dome, and evacuated. Son of a…”

Wesley turned his head and saw something flying towards them. He saw that it was one of the probes, spinning, spitting electricity, heading right for the craft.

“Change course,” Wesley yelled. “Incoming debris, collision in ten seconds.”

“How-”

“Another!” Wesley pulled hard to the left as Riker pulled hard to the right, causing their escape maneuver to be canceled out. At the last second, Wesley pulled to the right, and the first probe just barely missed them.

The second probe crashed into the side of the craft, nearly piercing the wall, and the alarms began to go off.

“Shit,” Riker swore, and he unbuckled and stood. “Wesley, take the helm. I need to try and fix this.”

“Aye, sir,” Wesley said quickly. He slid into Riker’s seat and cringed as the alarms seared right into his skull. Riker stumbled around as he grabbed materials to patch up the hole, and attempted to force the probe out of the hole.

Wesley checked the GPS screen and got a feeling of horror. “Sir…”

“Yes?” Riker said with a labored grunt.

“Incoming-”

The third probe slammed into the side of the shuttle, and the craft went spiraling down. Wesley gripped the wheel and shouted as he tried desperately to get the shuttle under control. He began to understand that would not be happening; all he could do now was try to make sure they landed as smoothly as possible.

“Going down,” Wesley cried out.

“I’m holding this in so we don’t lose our life support,” Riker shouted. “Land us.”

“Trying, sir!” Wesley overrode all auto features and took the craft into his hands completely. They were careening down to the surface, Riker sealing the shuttle as best he could, Wesley trying to glide down with the wind and skirting off the cloud pockets. The alarms got louder; the surface came closer. Wesley took a deep breath and turned on the brightest fog lights on the front of the craft. He could hardly see through the storm, though they were on the edge of it.

“Can’t hold this much longer,” Riker managed.

“Impact in two minutes.”

“Try to be gentle.”

They were going down too fast. It was impossible to think they’d come out of this alive. Wesley closed his eyes for a moment and regretted that he had asked to come. He wasn’t ready. He was going to crash the shuttle, he was going to die, and so was Commander Riker.

“I’m sorry, Commander,” Wesley said quietly, just before they hit the ground.

 

***

 

The first thing Riker realized was that he was alive. He moved his fingers and felt his toes wiggle in his boots. He felt around his shoulders and thighs and head; all seemed to be in tact. He didn’t feel any excruciating pain, just a dull throbbing in his joints from the impact. He opened his eyes and surveyed the scene.

The cabin was in total disarray. The supply crates had toppled around but had not become unsealed. The emergency provisions had spilt out all over the floor. A giant urn of water was leaking slowly against one of the walls. Riker had been in crashes before, and as far as he was concerned, this one wasn’t so bad.

Thanks to Wesley, he thought. Wesley! He stood and looked around the cabin, finding Wesley still at the helm, strapped into his seat. There was a bump on his forehead where he must have gotten thrown forward on impact. He was slumped in his seat, eyes closed, and Riker quickly felt his pulse. Still alive.

“Thank god,” Riker murmured. He unstrapped the younger man from his seat and pulled him to the cabin floor, laying him down and tapping his face. “Wesley. Wesley, come to.”

Wesley groaned and lolled his head to the side, cringing.

Riker sighed with great relief. “Open your eyes, Wes. I need you to tell me what’s wrong.”

“I…” Wesley peeked at Riker through heavy-lidded eyes, eyelashes fluttering. “I crashed the ship, sir.”

“No. No, no. You did great. You saved us, Wesley.” Riker pulled Wesley to a sitting position, and they were eye-to-eye. “Are you all right?”

“Think so. Hit my head.” Wesley felt his forehead and grimaced. “Just a bump.”

“Tell me where you are, and who I am, and who you are.”

“We’re in a crashed shuttle on Struna QZ. You’re Commander Riker, First Officer of the Federation starship Enterprise. I’m Wesley Crusher.”

“Good.” At least Wesley didn’t seem to have any serious head trauma. He was most probably concussed.

Riker looked around the cabin, his eyes immediately landing on the puncture in the cabin made by the probe that the storm had hurled back at them. There was a definite breach in the cabin; Riker could see the Strunian storm swirling outside the shuttle through an inch wide hole.

He immediately stood and began scanning the atmosphere. They could already be compromised. As Riker took scans, Wesley anchored the shuttle to the ground so they wouldn’t get tossed around anymore.

“I see no danger in the air here,” Riker said, consulting his scanner. “It seems all right for human lungs. I am going to try to patch this hole, though. Not taking any risks.”

Wesley nodded vaguely and watched as Riker stretched a piece of tight-knit canvas across the hole, and then sealed it with an adhesive laser gun. To be safe, he repeated the process two more times. He scanned the rest of the cabin to check for any other breaches and found none.

“I’m sorry this happened, sir,” Wesley said quietly. “I should have known about the storm.”

“We couldn’t even spot it from orbit,” Riker told him. “We sent probes, and the storm must have tossed them right back at us. This is no ordinary storm.”

“There had to be something about it in the records. I missed something.”

Riker sighed. “Wesley, even if you did… and I am positive you didn’t… it won’t help us right now. One thing you’ll have to learn about being a Starfleet officer is to act in the moment, deal with what’s in front of you, and reflect later. I need you right now, unless your head hurts too much. I don’t want to make your injury worse.”

“I’m fine.” Wesley stood and began to move some of the crates out of the way. Riker sat in one of the pilot chairs and tapped his combadge.

“Riker to bridge.”

Silence. Riker unpinned his badge to make sure it hadn’t been damaged. It looked like it was intact. He held it close to his lips and said again, “Riker to bridge.”

The badge gurgled out some static, and Riker felt relieved. It was responsive. “Wesley, give me your combadge.”

Wesley walked over to Riker and stood close, unpinning his own badge. Their eyes met and Riker felt a surge of warmth flow over him. Something worse so easily could have happened, but they were both fine. Riker knew that Wesley was probably feeling scared, and also very guilty.

“I just want you to know, Wesley, you were outstanding,” Riker said softly. “We landed with minimal damage. The skill you showed behind the wheel… I’ve hardly ever seen someone act that quickly under pressure. You were amazing.”

“Thank you, sir,” Wesley replied, hovering closer. He handed the badge to Riker, their fingers mingling for a quick moment.

“Really amazing,” Riker said again.

Wesley managed a smile and nodded. “Well, I think you’re-... I mean, I always think you’re amazing.”

Riker smiled and was about to reply when Wesley’s badge made some static in his hand, and they continued to stare at each other.

“Riker to bridge,” Riker said.

“Commander,” came Picard’s garbled voice. “Picard to Riker. Please respond immediately.”

“Captain, we’re here.” Riker pinned Wesley’s badge to his shirt.

“What happened, Number One? We lost contact.”

“The storm damaged our shuttle. We got hit by some debris and had to make an emergency landing.” Riker was careful to leave out hot words like ‘crash’ and ‘danger’. “Ensign Crusher landed our shuttle as I attempted to repair a breach in the cabin.”

There was a pause, and then Picard said, “Number One, Dr. Crusher is requesting to hear her son’s voice.”

Wesley groaned. “Mom, I’m okay. Captain, please tell her I’m fine.”

Static. “Acknowledged. Has the breach been repaired?”

“I believe it has,” Riker said. “Of course, we were exposed to the atmosphere for some time, but I ran some scans and it seems the air is not harmful.”

“Is the shuttle beyond repair?”

“Unsure. We have anchored for the moment, and have not attempted flight. I don’t think the shuttle will fly again.”

Picard made a noise of acknowledgement. “Well, Number One, I don’t see why you can’t complete the mission while you’re down there, and are both healthy and safe. Up here, we’re working on a way to transport you back, but it may take some time. If you need us to attempt to send a rescue shuttle immediately, now is the time to tell me.”

“No, Captain, that won’t be needed. It would be an unnecessary risk. We’re safe for now. Continue work on the transport beam, let me know if I can position any of the sensors so that it will be easier to grab on.”

“All right, Number One. Please stand by. Picard out.”

Riker looked at Wesley, who was standing even closer to him now. Their body heat mingling, Wesley’s hip pressed flush against Riker’s arm, they both sighed lightly.

“Shall we?” Riker said.

Wesley nodded, biting his lip. Riker smiled again. To Riker, this was an exciting adventure. He’d been in scrapes like this before. Everything seemed hopeless, they were cut off from everything they knew, and very likely in danger. Riker felt most alive during times like this.

He had to be mindful of how scared Wesley may be, though. Wesley had never been through something like this. He didn’t know how to act, or what to do. He didn’t have Riker’s experience or confidence that everything would be solved.

“I won’t let anything happen,” Riker told him. “Let’s try to relax and carry on the mission. They’ll figure out a way to beam us back to the ship in no time.”

“Yes, sir,” Wesley said very quietly. But he didn’t move. He stayed glued to Riker’s side, still biting his lip.

“What is it?” asked Riker.

“Nothing, sir. I’m just…” Wesley shrugged.

Riker put a hand on Wesley’s arm and squeezed. “It takes some getting used to, but some day you’ll think of this as fun.”

Wesley actually laughed, a shrill pitched tone that cut through the tension of the cabin like a knife. “Okay, sir. Let’s get to work.”

Riker watched as Wesley finally left his side and began to open the crates to get their research supplies. He felt a cold absence once Wesley wasn’t pressed against him anymore. Riker rubbed his shoulder where Wesley’s warmth had been. His stomach constricted with something akin to pain, but it felt much more pleasant.

He joined Wesley in sorting through their equipment and they cleaned as they went, putting together a slipshod, efficient work station. Even though Riker knew Wesley was scared, he admired how the younger man kept a level head and went forward with their mission. He admired a lot about the young ensign, actually.

“Scanning for signs of life,” Wesley said, tapping on a handheld device. He glanced sideways at Riker and flashed a smile. “You’re right, it’s kind of fun.”

Riker nodded, returning the smile. “I’ll run some diagnostics on the shuttle.”

They worked in comfortable silence, and Wesley always found a way to be glued to Riker’s side. Riker found he didn’t mind it; in fact, he liked it. A lot.

 

***

 

Beverly paced the bridge on the Enterprise. She knew she was trying the captain’s patience, always hovering, always asking for updates or demanding to speak to Wesley, but she couldn’t not be there. Just the knowledge that her son had crash landed on a desolate, stormy planet and currently had no way of getting back was enough to send her into a state of insanity.

“Beverly, can I get you some tea?” Captain Picard offered. “I’m going to have some.”

Beverly sighed and nodded. She followed Picard into the captain’s quarters and sat as he prepared his favorite Earl Grey.

“I’ve had an update,” Picard said. “The engineering team has managed to successfully beam a rock back from the planet. We can’t be sure of the state the rock was in before it was transported, but it’s contact.”

Beverly was horrified. She imagined her son returning damaged beyond recognition because of a transport mishap.

“I know your thoughts. At least we have been able to lock onto the surface.”

Beverly nodded. “Jean Luc, I just…”

“They are fine. You know we’ve been getting status reports from Commander Riker every fifteen minutes. And if I could let you in on a bit of confidence I had with Commander Riker,” Picard said.

“Please.”

“He told me that he would guard the boy with his life.” Picard nodded. “I know, it’s something people say to make assurances. But I’ll let you know, Beverly. Commander Riker has never made such a statement, not about anyone. Wesley is in good hands.”

“I know, and I trust Will. What happens outside the shuttle can’t be controlled.”

“What happens up here can’t be entirely controlled. We’re good officers, Beverly,” Picard said, giving her a fresh cup of tea. “The reason we can control for so much chaos up here is that we have been extensively trained to do so. I would trust William Riker with my life. I do not say that lightly.”

“And if he comes back, all in one piece, and is ready to go on these missions again and again?” Beverly put her hand to her head. “What am I saying? Of course he will want to do that. He’s going to be a Starfleet officer, just like you.”

“And he will do a hell of a good job.”

“I’m not ready for this. Especially after what happened to Jack.”

Picard nodded. He sipped his tea and leaned back in his chair. “Wesley is more cautious.”

Beverly looked out the window at the planet, knowing her son was down there somewhere. “You can’t stop me from being furious with Will when they return, though.”

“I would expect no less.” Picard smiled, and they clinked glasses.

 

***

 

“How’s that?” Wesley asked. He held a final sample of Strunian soil toward Riker and grinned. “I managed to get a lot that time.”

“Good work, Ensign,” Riker replied. “We can now honestly and confidently say you can transport dirt from outside of a shuttle to the inside.”

Wesley rolled his eyes. “It’s dirt and rocks.”

“Even more impressive.”

“I bet there was a time when people couldn’t even have dreamed of this technology,” Wesley said. “And you take it for granted!”

“I do, because I’m lucky enough to be alive during these times,” Riker said with a wink.

“But look at this.” Wesley sat down next to Riker and scooted close, holding the small sample. “The rocks are showing the patterns I expected. Major trauma, quick trauma. Not done over a long period of time.”

“You’re right. What do you make of it?”

“This storm…” Wesley looked out the window. “I don’t think it was always here. I think this was a peaceful planet before the storm began. I mean, look at the soil strata. It’s completely undisrupted when you get down a few layers. It’s the principle of superposition. Just basic stratigraphy.”

Riker smiled and nudged Wesley with his shoulder. “And that is why I wanted you to come.”

Wesley nudged back and blushed slightly. “Geology isn’t my strong point.”

“Picard to Riker,” came the captain’s voice. “How are you faring down there?”

“We’ve just about finished up the research,” Riker replied.

“Conclusive results?”

“You’ll find them hard to argue with.”

“Ah, good. Number one, I wonder if you could go over the transport sensors on the shuttle again and tell me if they are damaged. I know we have asked you to do this many times, but I want to be sure.”

“Checking now.” Riker looked at Wesley, who nodded and stood. Wesley looked over the sensors (ad nauseum, at this point), trying to find any small glitch they had missed. He took them off the wall, turned them over in his hands, felt around the edges.

He looked at Riker and shrugged.

“They’re fine,” Riker said to Picard. “Good as new.”

Wesley sighed and pulled the sensors into a stack, not bothering to put them back on the wall as Picard would ask them to be examined again. Wesley knew that the sensors just weren’t powerful enough to cut through the Strunian atmosphere. They’d be trapped down there forever unless a miracle happened.

“Thank you, Number One. Picard out.”

Riker sat down next to Wesley again, watching the younger man toy with the sensors.

“Do we need more samples?” Wesley asked.

“I think we have more than enough. We have logs, we have scans, we have data from around the city radius. We have measurements of breaches in the dome. We’re done here.”

Wesley leaned against Riker slightly, and Riker fought the urge to slip his arm around him and pull him close. He didn’t know if Wesley was being intentional or not. It certainly wasn’t the time or place for something like that.

“Well, all things considered, I’d say your first mission was a success,” said Riker, his face close to Wesley’s.

“Yeah.” Wesley turned his head, their faces inches apart.

“It’ll make a great story, think of it that way.”

Wesley nodded, his eyes heavy lidded. Riker could so easily bridge the gap between them, press his lips to Wesley’s, see what it would feel like to be close in this way with the younger man.

Unfortunately, the canvas patching the breach in the cabin chose that moment to start flapping.

“Wow,” Riker said. “I put three layers on that.”

He stood and walked over to the hole, stretching his arms up to feel where the canvas had given. The storm outside was pushing through from the outside, and Riker made quick work of patching it again, this time with three more layers, each one bigger than the next. He took a step back to admire his work, and realized that chatty (and flirty) Wesley had been quiet for a while.

Riker turned around and saw Wesley slumping down, barely keeping his head up. His eyes were drooping, his face pale.

“Wesley?” Riker stared at him, frowning. What had happened? Was it the concussion he had suspected before? “Wesley, are you all right?”

Wesley looked up and shook his head slowly. His eyes were glassy, limbs limp. “Commander, I don’t…”

“Come here, let me take your pulse again.”

Wesley stood, wobbling, and took a few steps toward Riker. He managed halfway and then stumbled, collapsing ahead into Riker’s arms.

“Wesley!” Riker held up the ensign, panicking. He patted Wesley’s face, and Wesley’s eyes fluttered open a few times. Wesley was warm all over, his head hot. His hands felt clammy.

Riker kicked some research papers and data off the top of their makeshift work table and laid Wesley down on the surface. Wesley was limp, fighting to keep his eyes open. His breathing shallowed and he began to wheeze slightly. He still held the transport sensors in his hands.

“Riker to bridge,” Riker said, touching his badge and scrambling around the cabin to find some water.

“This is Picard.”

“We have a situation.”

“Internal or external?”

“Internal,” Riker said. “Wesley seems to have gotten ill, very quickly.”

“Describe his symptoms.”

“Uh.” Riker found a big flask of water and a couple of blankets to prop under Wesley’s head. “Fever, listless. Pale. Hands are clammy. He’s wheezing, his breathing is shallow.”

There was silence from the captain as Riker put blankets under Wesley’s head as a pillow, and attempted to get him to drink some water. “Come on, you need hydration. Just a little.”

Wesley lifted his head and drank deeply, but then went limp again.

“Describe his head injury again, Will,” came Beverly’s voice.

Riker stood over Wesley and ran a hand over the site where Wesley bumped his head. “A small bump. I thought he might have been concussed, but he wasn’t displaying any of the symptoms.”

“And now?”

“I’ve seen concussions. I’ve had many of them. This isn’t the result of a concussion,” Riker said with a frown.”

“And the breach in the cabin?”

Riker almost swore under his breath. Of course. How could he have been so stupid? But Riker himself was unaffected, or perhaps the symptoms were taking longer to present since Riker was bigger.

“It ripped open again a short while ago. I repaired it, but we did have some leakage with the storm and atmosphere.”

He heard Beverly speaking with someone on the other end. Riker brushed Wesley’s forehead tenderly as he waited.

“Will? You said the symptoms came on rapidly, right after the cabin was compromised?” Beverly asked.

“All at once.”

“And you feel fine?”

“So far.”

“I knew it. I knew I should have given Wesley the vaccines.” Beverly sounded inconsolable.

Riker knew at once what she was talking about, and he felt terrible that he didn’t think of it sooner. There were a series of inoculations that Starfleet officers were given before they were sent on away missions to foreign planets. It protected them against most airborne bacteria from the alien air. Most of the bacteria was not life threatening; some was. They all shared similar symptoms. Riker began to shake with anger and fear, anger that he didn’t think of this possibility; fear that he was about to lose Wesley for good.

“I’ll keep him as stable as I can, just tell me what to do,” Riker said, his voice breaking.

“Find the emergency aid kit. Inside should be a sterile syringe filled with a general healing serum. Please administer that into Wesley’s thigh, quickly. Just jab it.”

Riker rushed to the emergency kit and found the syringe Beverly had indicated. He ran over to Wesley and jabbed the needle into his upper thigh, and Wesley groaned, trembled, and opened his eyes.

“The effect should be quick,” Beverly said. “Though temporary.”

“Mom?” Wesley said, dazed.

“Wesley,” Beverly said, voice rich with emotion. “How are you?”

“Tired.”

“Don’t sleep,” Beverly said. “Will, do you hear me? Do not let him sleep.”

“My thigh hurts,” Wesley complained.

Riker gave him a quick smile. “He’s whining, Bev.”

“Take care of him, Will. I will come back with more instructions soon. Keep him hydrated, warm, and comfortable. Wesley, I love you.”

The static went away, and Riker felt that he was alone with Wesley once again. Riker sighed and went to sit on a crate next to Wesley. The storm swirled outside, and Riker kept an eye on the canvas patch. It seemed secure now. How could he have not sealed it well enough before? He put his head in his hands and groaned.

“Sir?” Wesley said weakly.

“Yes.” Riker looked up and Wesley was propped up on one elbow, temporarily energized by the serum.

“I’m sorry.”

Riker frowned. “Why are you sorry?”

“For crashing the shuttle. For getting sick.”

Riker was so overcome with emotion and fear that he just began to laugh. Wesley stared at him, mystified. “Wesley. These things aren’t your fault.”

Wesley nodded lightly and settled his head down again. “My limbs feel all numb.”

“That’s the serum.”

“It’s strong.”

Riker put his hand on Wesley’s head again. He was still burning up, still pale. He gave more water to Wesley and sighed. “What a day.”

Wesley coughed for a few moments, and then wheezed. “It’s really hard to breathe.”

“Just keep it steady,” Riker said. “Slow, deep breaths.”

Wesley turned his head to the side, to face Riker, and Riker pulled his chair closer. Riker dared to stroke Wesley’s hair, and Wesley practically purred under his touch. He leaned into Riker’s hand, closing his eyes.

“Hey,” Riker said softly. “Stay awake.”

“Mhm,” Wesley murmured. He opened his eyes and stared at Riker, brows knit. “That feels good, though. Cool hand on hot forehead.”

Riker smiled and laid his hand on Wesley’s cheek, then pressed against the nape of Wesley’s neck. He gently stroked the hair at the base of Wesley’s neck and Wesley managed a smile.

It was ridiculously intimate, Wesley being sick or not. Riker kept his hand on Wesley’s neck, massaging, stroking sensuously.

“Tell me about your craziest mission,” Wesley said. “Because I know this can’t be it.”

Riker grinned, still petting Wesley’s neck. “It’s pretty close, but no,” he agreed. “There was a time we had to evacuate as soon as we breached the atmosphere. It had to be a quick decision. We tried to beam out, but that didn’t work. Do you know what a parachute is?”

Wesley raised his eyebrows and wheezed as he laughed a little. “You had to jump out and float down?”

“Yes, and good thing we did, because the shuttle combusted just about two minutes after.”

“And then?”

“We landed miles away from each other. Luckily we had combadges, but it took a while to regroup.”

Riker trailed his hand down Wesley’s arm and their fingers brushed. Wesley hooked a pinky onto Riker’s index finger, locking on. Riker easily took hold and stroked Wesley’s palm with his thumb.

“Okay, I get it,” Wesley said. “It sounds fun, just being out there. Not knowing what will happen.”

“It’s exploration,” Riker replied. “There’s something about discovering and exploring somewhere no one else has been before.” He squeezed Wesley’s hand. “Being reckless.”

“I don’t think I could ever do it. You’re practically my hero.”

Riker paused. “Really?”

Wesley yawned. “I’ve always, yeah. You’re just, you’re everything and…”

Wesley trailed off and Riker waited. Wesley’s breathing became more shallow, but more regular. He had fallen asleep.

“Shit,” Riker said. Keeping one hand on Wesley’s, he touched his combadge. “Riker to Dr. Crusher.”

“What is it? What happened?”

“Ah, we’re fine. It’s just… Wesley, he fell asleep.”

“Okay. That’s okay. The serum was very strong and nearly impossible to stay awake on. I should have known. You just have to keep a very close eye on him, Will.”

“I will,” said Riker. “Any progress on the transport beam?”

“None. If I could get in a shuttle and come down myself at this point, I would.” Beverly paused. “I know you’ll do everything you can, Will.”

They said goodbye, and Riker extracted his hand from Wesley’s. Wesley curled slightly, clutching the transport sensors to him. What could Riker do now? Obviously he had to watch Wesley, but couldn’t he do anymore more? He felt helpless.

He pulled his chair closer, took Wesley’s hand again, and started his watch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!


	3. Chapter 3

Riker had nodded off as well, because when he woke, he saw Wesley sitting up and working with the transport sensors. Riker immediately stood and put a hand to Wesley’s forehead. Still very hot. Wesley’s skin was waxy and pale, his eyes hazy.

“Wesley, you have to lie down,” Riker said. “Doctor’s orders.”

Wesley waved a hand at Riker dismissively. “I feel okay.” He wheezed heavily, as if to disprove his point, and seemed a little dizzy.

“No, no,” Riker said. He took the sensors from Wesley and laid them down on the table. “We have engineers working on that in the Enterprise. There’s nothing we can do down here.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

Riker frowned. “You’re very ill.”

“I’m fine.” Wesley lay down anyway, closing his eyes and cringing, making little gasping breaths.

“Does it hurt?”

“It hurts. I also feel like… I keep losing reality. I keep coming in and out.” Wesley let out a jagged breath. “I can’t breathe.”

Riker looked out the window, as if giving the Enterprise a pleading look. He had asked Beverly if he could give Wesley another serum shot and Beverly had said no, that would compromise Wesley’s respiratory system. All Riker could do was try to keep him comfortable and stable. Until Wesley could get to sickbay, it was up to fate.

Wesley pulled the sensors toward him again and began toying with them.

“Commander,” Wesley said quietly. “How bad is it? Tell me.”

“I don’t know.”

“I bet they’re collecting bet money up there right now. Everyone knew I wasn’t ready, everyone knew I’d fuck this up.”

“I didn’t think that. And you’re doing fine. You were a genius all throughout this.”

Wesley frowned, his nose a little red. He sat up again, shaking his head. “That’s the worst part, you know. I let you down.” His voice broke suddenly, his eyes glistening. “I really messed up and now I’m useless.”

Riker instinctively put his arm around Wesley’s shoulder and sat on the table next to him. He rubbed Wesley’s back and let the younger man gripe and wheeze and feel sorry for himself, because Riker didn’t know what else to do. He thought Wesley was amazing - how to convince Wesley of that?

Wesley lay his head on Riker’s shoulder and trembled, shivering, his breathing shallow yet wheezy. Riker could feel the feverish heat emanating off of him. He laid his cool hands against Wesley’s neck.

“It’s not everyday that someone as young as you goes on a Starfleet mission,” Riker said. “A year before going off to Academy, even. We chose you, Wesley. I chose you.”

Wesley gave a bitter laugh. “Yeah, imagine if my schoolmates could see me now. On a mission with the legendary Commander Riker.”

“Hm?”

“Legendary,” Wesley repeated, feverish. “The Starfleet Stallion.”

Riker paused and turned to look at Wesley. “What now? Where did you hear that?”

“Please. Everyone in school talked about you.”

“I haven’t heard that nickname in years.”

“They still use it. Most incredible lover in the universe. I’ve heard all the rumors.”

Riker bit back a smile, amused. “Oh, really?”

“That’s what they say.”

“What do they say, exactly?”

Wesley lifted his head, their eyes meeting. “People from all corners of the universe have stories about you. Some people in Starfleet Academy say you usher them in with some sort of initiation. Men, women… alien races.” He paused. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”

Riker nodded once. “And what do you think about it?”

“It just… you have to wonder what it’s like.”

Riker laughed, a low and seductive tone. “Do you wonder?”

Wesley squirmed a bit, his eyes never leaving Riker’s gaze. “I might.”

Riker turned away from Wesley, absorbing this information. He felt himself getting aroused, talking to Wesley like this. Maybe it was the conversation, or the adrenaline rush from their situation, but Riker’s groin felt hotter and tighter than it had in a while. “We’ll talk more about it when you’re well.”

“Commander.”

Their eyes met again, and Wesley smiled. He looked good enough to eat in that moment, despite the fact that he was pale and shining with sweat. Riker brushed some hair off Wesley’s forehead and smiled back. “I promise we’ll talk all about it when you’re well.”

“But…”

Riker stared at the younger man. If they had been in almost any other situation, Riker would have shown him, right there, just what was on his mind. He wanted Wesley. Wesley wanted him. As it was, Wesley could barely lift his head. It wasn’t a sexy setting, but damn if Wesley didn’t look desirable.

“I’m saying too much,” Wesley said softly. “Sorry, it’s the fever, I think. I’m saying everything in my head. I don’t usually…”

“Well, now I have more motivation than ever to get us out of here,” Riker said. “Come here.”

He put an arm around Wesley and Wesley studied the commander’s face, his eyes wild, a side of him that Riker had never seen. He always knew Wesley admired him. Riker knew he had his own reputation. But maybe there was something here, something more than just a professional relationship, or a young officer hero-worshipping his senior.

Riker had been down this road before. He had been in Wesley’s position, with older officers in the beginning of his career, and he didn’t want to repeat that mistake again. He wondered if he had a responsibility to guide Wesley, to help him avoid the poor choices Riker had made in the past.

Aside from all that, Riker just wanted Wesley. He wanted to protect him, dazzle him, possess him.

“Just rest for now,” Riker said, forcing himself to show massive restraint. Massive.

Wesley’s eyes, heavy lidded, fluttered under Riker’s gaze. “I feel so…”

“Rest,” Riker said, and he planted a kiss on Wesley’s forehead. Wesley lifted his chin and before Riker could react, their lips met, and they kissed, a gentle touch that neither of them had been prepared for. Wesley nodded slightly and then they kissed long and hard. Wesley gasped in Riker’s mouth, his jagged breathing becoming deeper as Riker moved his hands down his back to grip his waist.

Wesley put his hands behind Riker’s neck and guided him closer, mouths opening, their tongues pressing together and licking deliciously.

The moment was stifling hot, disarmingly intimate. Riker moved his lips down to Wesley’s neck, kissing and licking the feverish skin. He kissed Wesley’s collarbone, eliciting whimpers from the younger man. He returned his lips to Wesley’s mouth, and they finished out the moment with a scorching hot kiss.

When they pulled apart, Wesley was panting, and Riker helped him to lay back down. Their hands met, fingers entwined. “We’ll talk more about it later,” Riker repeated with a smile, his eyes dark and lusty.

Wesley looked completely dazed, as if he couldn’t believe what he had just done. He gave Riker a small smile and yawned. “I think... now.”

But he was drifting off as he spoke. Riker nodded and stroked his hand. Within seconds Wesley had fallen asleep again and Riker sighed shakily.

He was riled up now. They had to get back to the ship.

 

***

 

“We’re getting clearer readings down there, Captain,” Geordi said, taking a short break from Data to work on the transport problem. “I don’t know what it is, but the signal is practically shouting at us now. If only the skies would clear. Just for a minute.”

“Perhaps they are clearing,” Picard replied. “Perhaps that’s why we are reading the sensors now.”

Geordi considered it. “Our tests are still failing, though. It’s still not safe to beam Riker and Wesley back up.”

“Maybe if we orbited closer.”

“A little less distance might be all we need,” Geordi agreed.

Captain Picard nodded. “We will try it. And if this goes much longer, we have to consider sending down another team. I won’t command you to put yourself in such danger, but-”

“Say no more, Captain. I’ll go, if the time comes.”

“I very much appreciate it, Lieutenant.”

Picard walked onto the turbolift and headed back to the bridge. He was exhausted, having been awake for a long time, on duty for a day and a night. He hadn’t eaten. None of this mattered to him until he had his officers back on the ship and safe.

 

***

 

Riker sat in one of the pilot chairs, chewing on a fingernail, staring straight ahead out the window into the raging storm. The shuttle rocked back and forth like a boat on turbulent waters. He stretched his long legs out and propped them up on the control panel, sighing with relief. There wasn’t any easy way to get comfortable on the craft; sometimes an officer just had to put their boots on the control panel.

He had drawn the privacy curtain around the cockpit to let Wesley sleep, and to be alone with himself for a bit. He couldn’t stop thinking about what they’d shared. Riker was dying to explore it, to pursue whatever relationship Wesley had in mind for them. Could fate be so cruel as to give them this private moment together, and then steal their lives away? Riker considered that this may be the end.

He rubbed his forehead and stood, stretching some more. There was a slight tinkering sound coming from the cabin, and Riker panicked, wondering if the patch had come undone again. He would never forgive himself. Wesley could be dead.

He burst outside of the curtained cockpit and looked around for any sign of damage, but everything looked the way it was. The only difference was that Wesley was sitting on the floor, surrounded by disassembled transport sensors. There was one mega-sensor in front of him, fused together with the same laser adhesive that Riker had used to patch the shuttle. He was coughing, dripping with sweat, his skin so pale it was almost translucent. Riker knelt down and took Wesley by the shoulders.

“What are you doing?” he demanded.

“Almost done,” Wesley managed to say. He coughed hard, bracing himself against the wall with a hand. “This’ll work.”

“What are you talking ab-....” Riker watched as a metal crate beamed into sight, and then beamed back. Wesley’s super-transport censor glowed with energy.

“This’ll work,” Wesley whispered as an explanation.

“You built this? You actually…”

“Bridge,” Wesley said, before he collapsed to the floor.

Riker hurried to his side, picking up Wesley by the shoulders and patting his face. “Wesley. Wes. God damn it.” He watched again as an even bigger metal crate beamed into sight, and then disappeared again. “Wesley.”

Wesley’s head lolled to the side; he was completely unconscious.

“Picard to Riker,” came Picard’s voice. “We have successfully linked to your transport beams. Prepare to beam on board.”

“Now,” Riker said sharply.

“Is the research gathered?”

“Now! Two to beam aboard!”

Standing up with Wesley in his arms, Riker felt the familiar tingling sensation as the transport began. They blinked out of existence and then Riker found himself in one of the transport rooms, staring at Picard, Beverly, Geordi, and O’Brien.

“Sickbay,” Riker shouted. “Now.”

“Wesley,” Beverly said in a hushed tone. She came forward and attempted to extract him from Riker’s arms, but Riker wouldn’t let go.

“We have to go now,” Riker said loudly. “He’s dying.”

“Oh, god,” Beverly cried out. She hurried Riker out the door and they rushed to sickbay, Beverly practically kicking all the doors down so that Riker could carry her son through. They arrived at the medical facility and Beverly rushed in, cleared one of the examination tables.

“Put him down,” Beverly commanded, and she immediately began scanning Wesley. “Thank you, Commander. Now you can leave.”

“No-”

“Leave,” Beverly said coldly. She turned back to Wesley and continued her work.

Riker stood, watching. Wesley was completely unresponsive, and Riker felt real, actual panic. He hadn’t considered that they both might not get out of there alive.

“Beverly…”

“Go!” Beverly shouted. “You’ve done enough!”

With one last look at Wesley, Riker left the sickbay. He felt absolutely sick to his stomach. He didn’t blame Beverly for being angry with him. What if Wesley died? Riker had been the one who insisted on Wesley doing the mission. He’d wanted to spend more time with Wesley. He had gotten to really like the young ensign. They’d shared something special and amazing.

Riker stood outside of sickbay, leaning against the wall. He had fallen for Wesley, and could think of nothing else. Nothing else mattered.

 

***

The bridge was quiet when Riker entered the next day. They greeted him cautiously and Riker wondered why, until he remembered that he had acted like a complete monster when he and Wesley had beamed back on board. His one priority had been to get Wesley to sickbay, and he had growled at everyone in his way until he got there.

Only to be kicked out. After Beverly had shooed him out of sickbay, Riker had undergone his own brief medical exam to make sure he wasn’t injured or ill. Then, Riker had sat down with the captain to go over the details of the journey. What had gone wrong, what could have been prevented, what could be improved for next time. They went over Riker and Wesley’s logs, and looked over the research that O’Brien had managed to recover.

“Number One,” Picard said with a nod. “It’s good to see you here today.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

“I trust you are well rested after your mission.”

Riker was not well rested. He had barely slept, and continued to make trips to sickbay in order to see how Wesley was doing. Dr. Crusher wouldn’t let him in.

“I’m well enough.” Riker took his seat and sighed. “I wish I could say the same for Wesley.” He paused. “Is there any news?”

“I spoke with Dr. Crusher earlier. She has put Mr. Crusher on a breathing apparatus. She hopes the relief from his labored breathing will help his body heal.”

“Life support,” Riker murmured, his stomach sinking.

“No, Number One. She said his vitals are stable. Without having to breathe on his own, his other systems can heal more quickly.” Picard sat next to Riker.

“I won’t forgive myself if…” Riker shook his head. “You understand.”

“I do,” Picard replied. “And I think it’s too soon to have thoughts like that.”

“You know I can’t see it that way.”

Picard nodded. “Understood. You need a distraction. Can you work?”

“I can.”

Riker stayed on the bridge, overseeing his usual duties, but his mind wasn’t there. He thought of Wesley, fighting for his life on a breathing machine. He thought of Wesley in the crashed shuttle, laughing, talking animatedly, even flirting. He thought of Wesley’s soft lips and the way he had squirmed under Riker’s touch.

Later in the day, Beverly entered the bridge, looking tired and frazzled. There were dark circles under her eyes and her hair was thrown back in a sloppy bun. Riker stood as she approached the captain.

“Jean Luc,” Beverly said.

“How is he?” Picard asked, his tone quiet and urgent.

“He…” Beverly’s voice broke, and Riker rushed to her side.

“What is it?” Riker demanded.

Beverly’s eyes flashed at Riker. “He will recover. It will be slow and painful, and his lungs will be compromised for the rest of his life, I believe. But he will come through it.”

Riker closed his eyes and slumped against the wall with relief. Every worst case scenario that had gone through his mind seemed to disappear. Wesley would recover.

“Thank god,” Riker murmured.

“You had better thank someone,” Beverly said to Riker, frowning. “I am so angry with you, Will. You insisted that my son go on this mission and put him in danger. He will be afflicted for the rest of his life. I just… I can’t…”

Beverly began to cry, and Riker stood there, feeling miserable. He knew Beverly would forgive him, just as he knew he would someday forgive himself. The thing that mattered was that Wesley would be okay.

“Beverly,” Picard said quietly, pulling her into his arms. “Focus on the positive.”

“May we see him?” Riker asked hesitantly.

Beverly tensed in Picard’s hold and looked at Riker. “I suppose I can’t stop you from visiting him. Just know that he is on strict bed rest and needs quiet for the next couple days. Please respect that, Will.”

Riker sighed and nodded. Beverly made her farewells and left the bridge to tend to her son. The captain returned to his chair and Riker wandered to the back of the bridge, to process his thoughts.

He was overwhelmed with relief. He could see Wesley soon. He was worried that Beverly said Wesley would be afflicted for the rest of his life, and wondered exactly what that meant. He’d find out, and he’d be there for Wesley. They could maybe continue what they had begun on the Strunian crash site. Baby steps at first, Riker didn’t want to overwhelm Wesley, but he felt stronger than ever that he was falling for the younger man.

Riker suddenly felt exhausted, the weight of the anxiety lifting from his shoulders and being replaced by a new one entirely. Would Wesley want to continue where they had left off? Was he acting that way because they had been isolated from everyone, possibly never to return? Riker didn’t know. Wesley had mentioned hearing rumors about Riker’s amorous past, had even referenced that old nickname. Did Wesley just want to hook up and then be done with it?

Riker realized none of it mattered, at the moment. It was important that Wesley was going to recover and from there, Riker would do anything the younger man wanted, at whatever pace. He would wait for Wesley to make the next call.

Spirits lifted, Riker yawned and finished his work on the bridge. He would sleep well for the first time in a while that night.

 

***

 

A couple of days later, Riker strode down the corridor to the sickbay to finally visit Wesley. He hadn’t wanted to go too early, but he hadn’t wanted to leave it too late, either. Riker didn’t know what to expect. Would Wesley be asleep? Would he be angry, like Beverly seemed to be? Would he throw himself on Riker upon sight, completely unguarded?

Riker held a bunch of flowers, and a box of chocolate. He had agonized over what to bring (if anything) and had decided that flowers and candy were a safe bet, as that was what people usually received when they were ill, and Riker now thought of Wesley as his sweetheart. The flowers were native to where Riker grew up in Alaska, and therefore meant a lot to him, too.

The door opened and Riker entered the sickbay, nodding hello to the nurses milling around. He didn’t see Beverly anywhere, which was something of a relief. She had been so cold to him lately, and Riker understood why - but Riker didn’t know what he could do. He supposed time would tell.

Riker walked to one of the inpatient rooms, and saw Wesley’s name on a badge by the door. He smiled and walked inside.

Wesley was sitting with his legs crossed under him on a bed, reading something on a tablet. His hair was soft, falling across his forehead, and his skin seemed to glow. He wore blue pajamas. Riker took a hesitant step forward, and Wesley looked up.

Wesley grinned. “Commander Riker.”

“Wesley Crusher,” Riker replied. “Still alive.”

Wesley nodded. “Just barely.”

Riker handed the flowers and chocolate to Wesley. “For a speedy recovery.”

“Thank you, sir,” Wesley said with a big smile. His eyes sparkled at Riker. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to.” Riker paused, wondering if he should give Wesley a kiss on the cheek, or embrace him like he wanted to do. He opted to sit in a chair right next to Wesley’s bed. “You scared me, you know. You were fine, we were having a good time, we were… and then.”

Wesley sighed. “Yeah… It’s all a blur to me. The Captain told me that most of our research was recovered, though. I can’t wait to look at it.”

Wesley’s hand rested on the bed, and Riker could so easily take it. One simple movement.

“I was wondering when you’d come, though,” Wesley said, and Riker’s spirits lifted. Wesley smelled the Alaskan flowers and then set them on a table next to the bed. “No one knows what happened down there except you.”

Riker nodded slightly. “And you.”

Wesley frowned. “Well… my memory is kind of foggy. I think the fever made me delirious at some point. I don’t know what’s real and what’s fake.”

“Really?”

“I remember working, getting the research. I remember the crash landing. I remember… some other things,” Wesley said, and was he blushing? “I don’t know, sir.”

Riker felt a sense of dread. “What other things?”

“I think I bumped my head? I remember lying down on some crates.”

“Ah…”

“What? What did I do?” Wesley cringed. “Did I say something stupid? I was probably mean, I get mean when I’m out of it sometimes.”

“No, no,” Riker said.

“I probably made you do all the work. I mean, I know I fixed the transport sensor, but maybe it was really you who did that. You can take the credit, sir, I really don’t mind. I’m so sorry.”

Riker glanced at the flowers he had brought, the chocolate that was still in Wesley’s lap. He had thought Wesley may be a little embarrassed after their kiss, but to not remember it at all?

“Mom said I had some memory loss, but I didn’t think I did anything bad. I thought I was too sick or something,” Wesley went on.

“Wesley…” Riker brought his chair in closer, looking the younger man right in the eyes. “You really don’t remember anything at all?”

Wesley stared back with blank, honest eyes. “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t.”

Without really thinking, Riker took Wesley’s hand and they sat in silence like that for a few moments. Wesley didn’t seem surprised by the intimate action, and Riker took that as a sign that there may still be something between them. It happened to be buried in Wesley’s unconscious mind, but it was there. He stroked the palm of Wesley’s hand with his thumb and Wesley closed his fingers around Riker’s knuckles.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Riker said softly. “I really thought…”

“I’m happy you came. I wanted to see you as soon as I woke up, just wanted you to know I was all right,” Wesley said. He squeezed Riker’s hand. “You’re not going to get rid of me so easily, sir.”

Riker smiled. “I wouldn’t want to.”

“And soon I’ll be ready for our next mission,” Wesley said, looking hopeful. “If you’ll have me on it, sir.”

Riker felt relieved. He’d been afraid that this disaster would put Wesley off away missions forever. “Of course, Cadet Crusher,” Riker replied, his tone official. The allusion to the Academy gave Riker a twinge in his gut. He was getting close to Wesley only to lose him soon.

Wesley grinned and then coughed, his shoulders shaking in a broken wheeze. “Ugh… something I’ll have to live with. You know what they’re going to call me at Starfleet? Wheezeley Crusher.”

“I think it suits you,” Riker teased.

“Oh, great.”

They chatted for about an hour, Riker finding reasons to touch Wesley, whether it was holding his hand, brushing his hair off his forehead, or rubbing his shoulders as he had a wheezing fit. Wesley was open to the intimacy, didn’t seem to think there was anything wrong with the senior officer caressing him this way or that.

“Time to go, I’m afraid,” Riker said, standing.

“No, don’t leave me,” Wesley pleaded. “It’s so boring here.”

Riker stared at Wesley, wanting to crawl onto the bed and cover him with kisses all over. He knew it was there, between them. He knew what had happened - Riker couldn’t stop thinking about it. He knew they’d have to go about this at a slow pace, and now it would have to be even slower. Riker was determined to unbury that memory inside Wesley’s head.

“Wes, you really don’t remember anything about the later part of the mission?” Riker asked. “Really?”

“Sir, I… I don’t know.” Wesley shrugged a shoulder. “It’s all foggy in there. I think I imagined some things… Why?”

Riker sighed. “Oh, we just were very impressed with how you put together the transport sensor. We’d love to be able to do it again.”

Wesley’s face lit up. “I can do that! I can figure it out again. I know I can.”

“Well, good. What you did was state of the art and very, very advanced. We would have been stuck down there forever, if it wasn’t for you.”

Wesley blushed. “You would have saved us.”

Riker put a hand on Wesley’s shoulder and squeezed, letting his fingers linger at the nape of Wesley’s neck. “Get some rest. We’ll expect you back on the bridge as a full ensign very soon.”

“Aye, sir,” Wesley said, nodding. “Thank you.”

Riker began to walk out and their eyes met. Please, just remember, Riker thought to himself.

“Commander,” Wesley said quietly.

Riker stopped and nodded. “Yes?”

Wesley bit his lip. “No, it’s nothing. See you later. Thank you for the flowers.”

Riker nodded again, giving Wesley a smile, and then left the room. It hadn’t gone exactly how Riker had imagined, but he could feel the spark between them. It just needed some time to smolder.

 

***

 

“There you are,” Beverly said, fluffing some pillows behind her son’s head. “Are you comfy?”

“I feel like I’m trapped inside a marshmallow,” Wesley replied.

“Good.” Beverly arranged the pillows some more, and tucked the blanket around Wesley’s legs. “I want you to be unable to move completely.”

“You know, I believe you.”

Beverly laughed. “You knew the deal. I allowed you to come home from sickbay, you allowed me to be overbearing and unreasonable.”

“Sickbay smells weird. I would’ve said anything to get out of there.”

“Well, I’m glad to see you are feeling better. How’s your chest?”

“Fine.”

“Take two deep breaths for me.”

Wesley slowly inhaled and exhaled, causing himself to wheeze and cough. Beverly sighed and rubbed Wesley’s back. “Does it still hurt?”

“No.”

“You’re not just saying that to avoid the smelly sickbay?”

“Mom, I’m fine.” Wesley smiled at his mother. “Thanks for taking good care of me.”

Beverly fussed around him some more, arranging things on the table next to his bed, including the flowers from Commander Riker. Wesley wanted those by him at all times. He fell asleep looking at them, woke up and saw them. They made his belly flip pleasantly. No one else had brought him flowers. It seemed like a rather romantic gesture.

“I need to go back,” Beverly said. “Do you have everything you need?”

“Uh-huh,” Wesley murmured, deep in thought.

“Call if you need anything.”

“Right.” Beverly kissed Wesley on top of the head and left Wesley alone in his room.

Wesley touched one of the flowers and thought about how Riker had acted with him in the sickbay room. Very tender, very kind, much softer than usual. He’d held Wesley’s hand as if it was normal for them. Wesley had accepted it because he’d been in love with Commander Riker for as long as he could remember and he wasn’t about to push away physical contact.

But there was something different. Wesley closed his eyes and remembered their time on the shuttle. He had gotten so ill, so fast. Everything had been perfect, aside from the crash, until Wesley’s memories became foggy. He remembered Riker’s arm around him, remembered Riker laying him down on the work table, making him comfortable. Then he thought he had imagined Riker taking his hand, caressing his hot, feverish neck with cool hands.

Wesley thought he had been bold and said things to Riker he’d only ever thought about - Riker’s old nickname, his reputation as a lover. Would Wesley really just have come out and say that? He’d been feverish, almost delirious, so it was hard to know. It all seemed so dreamlike and yet…

The kiss. The kiss between them had felt so real. Wesley had dreamed about it a thousand times, had imagined being with Riker, so he was no stranger to imagining it. This felt different, though. Wesley could recall Riker’s scent, the soft touch of his hands, the heat coming off Riker’s broad chest. Wesley had never imagined that much detail before.

Then he opened his eyes, gasping. He could remember the taste of Riker on his lips, so vivid, it couldn’t have been imagined.

Wesley was fairly certain that he had kissed Commander Riker, and Riker had kissed him back.

Wesley shivered all over. It was all so real now. Of course it had happened. That was why Riker had acted that way in sickbay. That was why he had brought flowers and those delicious chocolates.

He leaned back on his mountain of pillows, wheezing slightly. It was overwhelming, the revelation that something he had wanted so badly for years had finally happened. He had kissed Riker. Riker had touched and pet and caressed him, and kissed him back. And it had been good.

Wesley smiled and rolled onto his side, replaying the scene over and over in his head until his stomach was swirling with desire and his groin hot and tight and in need of release. Everything had changed.

Now he just had to figure out what to say to Riker.

 

***

 

The next day, Wesley felt good enough to get out of his room and walk around the ship a bit. Beverly had been worried that he would overexert himself, but Wesley was sick of seeing just the inside of a room, and he needed some fresher air. He promised his mother he would page her if anything happened. Mostly he wanted the freedom to walk around on his own and not be under constant watch.

He had another motive. He knew that Commander Riker usually left the bridge at this time of day and headed over to Engineering to get status updates from Geordi. Wesley wanted to ask Riker if they could talk later. The more Wesley thought about his memories of the shuttle mission, the more he wondered if he had thrown himself at Riker, and Riker had just humored him, so as not to make a bad situation even worse. Wesley had been rehearsing what he wanted to say all day in his head, but he was still nowhere near ready. The conversation was the last thing he wanted have.

Wesley turned a corner, slowing his steps to make sure he would pass Riker in transit. His heart beat rapidly in his chest, he was so anxious.

Down the hall, he spotted a couple of his former classmates, and Wesley sighed.

“It’s the Weasel,” said one of them. His name was Johnny Marconi, and he was the son of one of the engineering officers.

“Weasel is walking on his own,” agreed the girl he was with. Maura Kitterly. Maura and Johnny regularly made Wesley’s life miserable in school.

“Back from your big mission. We heard you died,” Johnny said.

Wesley nodded and was about to walk past them when they stopped, blocking his path.

“Guess he’s alive,” said Maura.

“Come on,” Wesley groaned.

“He’s probably on his way to the bridge,” Maura added.

“Oh, yeah. The bridge,” Johnny laughed. “Weasel, give us a tour of the bridge.”

Wesley tried not to, but he couldn’t help it. He wheezed loudly, and Maura and Johnny laughed.

“Dr. Mommy should take a look at that,” Maura said crudely.

Just that moment, Riker rounded the corner down the hall and Wesley closed his eyes and sighed again. Of course Commander Riker would show up as Wesley was getting bullied by former classmates.

“How do you think the Weasel felt when he crashed the shuttle?” Johnny asked.

“I imagine the Weasel felt pretty bad,” Maura replied, laughing.

“Probably not allowed on the bridge anymore,” Johnny said. “As if that was ever true, anyway.”

“What’s going on here?” Commander Riker approached the group, and Wesley felt his spirits sink even farther.

“Commander,” Maura and Johnny said obediently.

Wesley looked at Riker helplessly, shrugging a shoulder.

“I’d watch your behavior,” Riker said sternly to the two. “A time will come soon when you’ll need references for Academy pursuits, which I know you’re considering, Mr. Marconi. The deadlines are coming up very soon.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Don’t think that because your father is a Starfleet officer, you’re automatically in,” Riker went on. “And you, miss. I didn’t catch your name.”

“Maura Kitterly, sir.”

“Sonja Kitterly’s daughter, I believe? One of our ship’s chemists? I know her well.”

Maura and Johnny seemed to squirm where they stood. Wesley wanted to disappear into the ground.

“Move along, you two,” Riker told them. “I won’t forget what I saw.”

They walked away, silently and quickly, until it was just Wesley and Riker in the hall.

“I’m sorry, sir,” Wesley mumbled, his ears burning.

“Why are you sorry? Those kids were idiots. Do they always act like that?”

Wesley nodded, cringing.

“Well, they can kiss their references goodbye. None of our senior officers will recommend behavior like that.”

“Okay,” Wesley said weakly.

“Now.” Riker smiled. “How are you doing, Cadet?”

“I’m good,” Wesley replied. “Still tired, but… yeah. I’m good.”

“I’m glad to hear it.”

“I, um… I wanted to know if we could talk later, actually. It won’t take long. I could even just meet you in a turbolift on your way somewhere. Conference room, wherever.”

Riker nodded. “Come to my quarters later? We can talk there.”

Wesley blinked. “Oh, sure. I promise it won’t take long.”

“See you then.” Riker winked and walked away, leaving Wesley feeling slightly breathless.

He was embarrassed beyond words. He never wanted Riker to see something like that - being bullied by former classmates in the hall. What kind of loser was Wesley? He groaned, realizing there was almost no possible way Riker would ever think of him as anything other than a kid. Dr. Crusher’s son. Smart, capable, but painfully awkward and not worth his special interest.

It was a hard realization, but he decided that he needed to get this conversation with Riker over with so that maybe he could move on.

 

***

 

Wesley stood outside of Commander Riker’s quarters, wheezing nervously. He had to get it under control before he entered. He wanted to appear mature, adult, and capable of a reasonable conversation. He had put on his grey uniform and coiffed his hair, and he thought he looked pretty good, considering he had been on life support some days ago. He took one more deep breath and raised a hand to tap on the door.

“Come in,” came Riker’s voice, and the doors slid open.

Wesley walked into Riker’s quarters and looked around. The lighting was soft, and the table was set for two, a warm dinner laid out on the plates. Wesley sighed and turned to see Riker standing in a doorway.

“Wesley,” Riker said softly.

“Commander,” Wesley replied. “I won’t stay long. I see you have plans.”

“I do,” Riker said with a nod.

“Okay.” Wesley’s heart sank; he was practically standing in the middle of Riker’s dinner date with someone else. He felt even worse than before. “Well, thanks for meeting with me. I appreciate it.”

“Of course.” Riker sat down in an armchair, gesturing for Weasley to sit as well. Wesley shook his head quickly and stayed where he was.

“First off, thanks so much for visiting me in sickbay and bringing me flowers. You didn’t have to do that. I really appreciated it. The flowers are really nice.”

“Alaskan. It’s a dodecatheon pulchellum.”

“Oh, really? Well, yeah, they’re great. And…” Wesley sighed. He couldn’t look at Riker. “I guess it’s not a secret. I mean, not to you. Maybe it is, I don’t know. I guess it’s no secret that I have… I feel a certain way about you.”

Riker remained silent, his expression unreadable.

“And that’s… You know, that’s just how I feel. I’ve felt this way for a long time and I’m used to it. I think about it… about you, all the time.” Wesley was almost speaking to the wall, he was so mortified. “And I wonder if when we were on the shuttle, if I didn’t act like an ass. I mean, I remember stuff. I do. It’s all foggy, but I do remember most of it.”

“Like what?” Riker’s voice was calm.

“Working together. Laughing, I remember having a lot of fun. Then I got sick and… I wanted you close to me.” Wesley swallowed hard. “I told you some of the rumors I heard about you. God, most people in school wanted you, did you know that?”

Riker’s lip quirked in a half smile, and he shrugged a shoulder.

Wesley began to pace around the room. “I wanted you close to me,” he repeated. “And once I had you close, I…”

Riker took a sip from a glass, still silent.

“You know what happened,” Wesley mumbled.

Riker set his glass down and nodded once. “I do.”

“And I wanted to say I’m sorry. I know you probably went along with it, because you felt bad for me, didn’t want to make anything worse. I wanted to apologize, because I don’t want it to be weird with us. I respect you so much, Commander. I respect you more than anyone. You’re amazing, and I don’t want to ruin our relationship as it is now. I would be a god damn idiot if I did.”

“Thank you for apologizing,” Riker said. “It shows bravery and honesty. I’m not surprised, though, coming from you, Wesley Crusher.”

“Sir,” mumbled Wesley. His heart sank.

“But first, I need you to tell me one thing. You say I know what happened.” Riker paused. “Do I? What happened?”

Wesley groaned. “Please…”

“I just want to make sure our versions of the story are the same.”

“I kissed you,” Wesley said bluntly. Might as well lay it all on the table. “I kissed you, I was all over you. I asked you about your legendary reputation. I wanted more.”

Riker stood and walked over to the table. He picked up a bottle of wine, poured two glasses, and handed one to Wesley. “Our stories match up. Now would you like to join me for dinner?”

Wesley stared at Riker for a long moment, mouth open.

“It’s getting cold,” Riker explained.

“You want… This is for me?” Wesley squeaked. He wheezed softly, feeling overwhelmed.

“Well, it’s for us. But yes, it is for you.”

Speechless, Wesley took the wine glass and sank down in one of the chairs. Riker stood at the side of the table, and he finally smiled.

“To your health,” Riker said. “To getting out of Struna QZ alive.” He reached over and clinked Wesley’s glass, then took a deep sip. Wesley, still dazed, took a sip from his own glass. The red wine made him feel warm all over.

“What are we having?” Wesley asked, unable to think of anything else to say.

“Baked cod over brown rice with veggies,” Riker replied. “It’s light and mild. I wasn’t sure you’d be able to eat anything heavier.”

“Thank you,” Wesley said politely, and then he paused. “Wait, what’s happening right now?” He looked around the room and noticed some candles, more of those Alaskan flowers. “Commander…”

“That’s a little formal,” Riker said. “We’ll have to work on that. At least when we’re not on duty, anyway.”

“We?” Wesley’s eyes darted around some more. The candles, the flowers, the smile on Riker’s face. Wesley began to feel dizzy.

“I’m glad you came tonight, because I want you to know that I kissed you, too,” Riker said softly. “You started it, I finished it. Now I think we should explore this. What do you think?”

“But I’m…” Wesley gazed up at the older man. “You’re Commander Will Riker, First Officer of the Federation starship Enterprise. You’re the…. The Starfleet Stallion. You could have literally anyone that you want. Anyone. In the universe. You’re… Look at you! There’s no way that you could…”

“And you’re Wesley Crusher, youngest ensign to ever work on a Federation starship,” Riker replied evenly. “Brilliant, capable, and you’re not so bad looking yourself.”

“And you… like me?” Wesley groaned at the stupid question. “I mean. You’re interested in me?”

Riker nodded, and pulled Wesley to a standing position. “Very interested, Cadet.” Wesley trembled with delight, awe, disbelief that such a thing could be happening for him. He’d only dreamed of this for years.

Riker pulled Wesley close and wrapped his arms around his waist, hands settling at Wesley’s hips. Riker towered over Wesley; he towered over most people, and his chest was so broad, his arms so strong. Wesley wilted in his hold and placed his arms on Riker’s shoulders as they stepped closer.

Their lips met, and this time there was no doubt that Wesley was imagining it. He recognized Riker’s scent at once, his taste, the way his skin felt. He traveled his hands up behind Riker’s neck and pulled him closer, their lips pressed, mouths opening, tongues licking. Riker slid his hands down further to smooth his hand over Wesley’s ass and squeezed. Wesley gasped and pressed his hips flush against Riker, their bodies mingling.

Wesley wheezed, to his great embarrassment, and had to pull away. Riker let out a small laugh and stroked Wesley’s back, pulling him close.

“Okay, we’ll go slow,” Riker murmured. He brushed an errant lock of hair from Wesley’s forehead and smiled, eyes dark.

“No,” Wesley managed, still wheezing. He pressed closer to Riker. “I’m fine.”

Riker kissed Wesley once more and then led him to the table. “Let’s eat.”

Wesley sat, stealing disbelieving peeks at Riker and sipping his wine so quickly that he almost got the hiccups. Riker sat in the other chair and took a sip from his own glass.

“Are they true, though?” Wesley asked, after he had gotten his breathing under control. He took a bite of the fish. It was very tasty, and the wine made it even better.

“What?”

“The stories about you. I wonder if they’re true. Starfleet Stallion.”

“Just an old nickname from Academy.”

“How did you get that nickname?”

Riker laughed.

“But… is there any truth to it?” Wesley set down his fork and smiled hopefully.

Riker flashed a disarming smile. “Wouldn’t you like to know.”

Wesley nodded, feeling warm all over and not just from the wine. He hoped to find out.

 

***

 

Wesley was floating. His spirits were higher than he could ever remember. He returned home that evening with a smile plastered on his face, his head in the stars. His mother was already in bed, so Wesley didn’t have to explain his late arrival or happy demeanor.

He went to his room and paced around for a moment, unable to shake his energy. When he left, Riker had kissed him so hotly, so deeply, that even if Wesley hadn’t been sick before, his breath would’ve been taken away completely. Wesley’s toes were still curling just remembering the kiss.

And there would be more. So much more. Wesley sat on his bed and steadied his breathing. He had overexerted himself, and he didn’t care. Just the thought that there would be more, more kisses, more things beyond kisses. Just more Riker. Wesley couldn’t believe his luck.

Wesley lay down and laid a hand over his hot groin. He’d been ready to explode all evening. Riker was so calculated, so cool. So in control of himself. Wesley didn’t know how he did it.

He closed his eyes and slid his hand underneath the waist of his pants, sighing out jaggedly. He imagined Riker touching him all over with those big hands, owning Wesley’s body completely. He wrapped a hand around his hard dick and tugged, crying out. He’d been so aroused the whole evening with Riker, and he imagined that maybe Riker was, too.

Wesley writhed on his bed, stroking himself with abandon, his back arching off the mattress. It wouldn’t take long; the whole night had been like foreplay. He pressed his eyes shut tight and imagined Riker’s weight on top of him, imagined their bodies moving together. Did Wesley want Riker inside him? The thought excited and scared him.

He thought about letting his thighs fall open, inviting Riker in between, and taking Riker deep inside him, where Wesley had only ever explored with a finger or two before. Yes, it was a delicious thought. To be conquered completely by Commander Riker.

Wesley spilled into his hand with a grunt and sat up, hunched over, breathing heavily. He wheezed and laughed brokenly, exhausted. He could barely move his legs. He curled up on his bed, not even changing out of his clothes. He imagined Riker beside him, stroking his body, and Wesley would purr under his touch.

Instead, Wesley touched one of the flowers from Riker - what had he called them? - and blinked heavily. He had a shift on the bridge in the morning, and he wondered what Commander Riker would say to him. They would have to be discreet, though Wesley would want to throw himself at Riker right away. He sighed and rolled over, feeling sleep claim him.

 

***

 

It was a late shift on the bridge, and Commander Riker was in charge while the captain was away on diplomatic Federation business for a couple of days. Riker loved to be in charge. He loved having command of a whole ship. One day he would be a full time captain but for now, being the First Officer of the Enterprise was a good gig.

He looked over the bridge at his night crew: Lieutenant Commanders Data and Worf, and Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher. Riker smiled as he looked at Wesley sitting at his station, tapping things into the control panel. Every so often, Wesley would look over his shoulder at Riker sitting in the captain’s chair and give a little smile.

Riker had a secret. Wesley was going to be promoted to full ensign and given a real Starfleet uniform the next day. Wesley still had no idea, and as Wesley’s mentor, Picard had given Riker the honor of telling Wesley about his promotion. Riker was waiting for the right moment.

He knew how much it would mean to Wesley, and Picard felt that after Wesley’s outstanding performance on the Struna QZ mission (despite the crash landing and Wesley’s illness), it was time. It would be a historic event; no pre-Starfleet Academy cadet had ever been promoted to such a position. Riker was so proud of his little cadet he was bursting.

“Ensign,” Riker said casually. “I’d like to meet with you after your shift tonight in the captain’s ready room.”

Wesley turned around in his chair. “Aye, sir. Is there something wrong?”

“No,” Riker replied, his tone official. “I have some Starfleet business to discuss.”

Wesley bit his lower lip and his eyes lit up. “Yes, Commander.”

Riker smiled back, unable to contain his happiness. It had been a few days since their dinner together, when they had figured things out and decided to give their relationship a real try. Wesley was still quite ill, needing a lot of rest and frequent trips to sickbay for breathing treatments, so Riker knew they would have a slow start. He’d only been allowed by his mother to do a night shift on the bridge because things were generally quiet in those hours.

Riker stood and walked the bridge, stopping just behind Wesley. “It’s very good news,” Riker said softly, and he saw Wesley’s shoulders tense.

“Standing by, sir,” Wesley replied playfully.

Riker discreetly brushed Wesley’s shoulder and made his way back to the captain’s chair. He sat and enjoyed the quiet of the bridge at night, that soon Wesley would be a full ensign and would work with him a lot more. Wesley would get a uniform - he would look delicious in the crisp red shirt with his proper rank displayed on the collar.

He gazed at the back of Wesley’s neck, creamy and exposed, and imagined kissing there, making the young man shiver with delight. He could hardly wait to explore Wesley’s body, so different from his own. He’d lay Wesley down on his bed and undress him, little by little. Riker was good at what he did, in that area. He had a tactical, sharp mind and tended to observe and notice just what made certain people unravel. He already knew it would be a slow burn with Wesley. The heat between them would fizzle and pop, scald, and eventually build up to fireworks. Riker knew what was worth waiting for.

He entertained those thoughts for most of the night and when Wesley’s shift was over, Riker led him into the captain’s quarters and closed the door tight behind them.

Wesley smiled, his eyes dark. He walked up to Riker and wrapped his arms around his neck, and their lips pressed together in a scorching kiss. Riker was pleased; usually the one to make the first move, he was more than happy to let Wesley step up.

He scooted Wesley backwards until Wesley was leaning against the glass table, and Riker lifted him slightly so that Wesley was perched on the surface. Wesley locked his ankles behind Riker’s legs and pulled him close, and Riker pulled away from Wesley’s lips and focused his attention on the smooth skin of Wesley’s neck that he’d thought so hard about.

“No,” Wesley gasped out. “Stop. I can’t… not here. You’re making me crazy.”

Riker nipped just below Wesley’s ear and grinned. “I’ve watched you all night.”

“I felt you watching. It was uncomfortable to sit for a while.”

“I’m the captain tonight. You can do whatever you want in this room.” Riker slid his hands down Wesley’s back and cupped his ass, squeezing the soft flesh. Wesley cried out and dropped his head on Riker’s shoulder.

“I want…”

Riker lifted his eyes and stared into Wesley’s. “What?”

Wesley made a noise of frustration. “Not here.” He smiled devilishly. “Captain.”

“Speaking of rank.” Riker gave Wesley’s ass one more squeeze. “I have news for you. An offer, really.”

Wesley began to smile.

“You knew this was coming,” Riker said with a laugh. He stroked Wesley’s cheek and rested his hand at the base of Wesley’s neck. “You’ve more than earned it. After our mission, Captain Picard truly feels… and I truly feel…”

Wesley tensed his thighs around Riker’s hips, nodding.

“You’ve been promoted to full ensign,” Riker finished, and he barely had time to get the words out before Wesley latched onto him again, kissing him breathless, and Riker could feel the elation coming off the younger man in waves.

“Thank you,” Wesley said between kisses. “Thank you.”

“You know this is unprecedented. You’re the youngest on record with no formal Starfleet training.” Riker pulled back to look at Wesley’s flushed face. “Captain Picard will officially present you with your uniform and rank tomorrow.”

“You pushed for this,” Wesley said.

“It was the captain’s idea,” Riker replied. “Who was I to disagree?”

Wesley shook his head. “This is crazy.”

Riker smiled. “You’ll already be way ahead of your fellow cadets at the Academy.”

“Oh. Yeah,” Wesley said. “Well, that’s later. I don’t want to think about leaving now.”

Riker didn’t want to think about that either. They kissed again, and Wesley pulled closer, practically grinding himself against Riker. Riker growled low in his throat and slid his hand down the back of Wesley’s pants, cupping the bare skin, feeling his own groin tighten and grow hotter by minute. He couldn’t explode in the captain’s ready room. He respected Picard too much.

Wesley mewled softly, his head heavy against Riker’s shoulder as he was petted. “No,” said Wesley again, breathless. “Making me… too crazy.”

Riker had to agree. He himself was having trouble concealing his arousal. He gave Wesley a last kiss and withdrew his hand, and stepped away.

Wesley’s eyes trailed down to Riker’s groin and he smiled; Riker was hard and it showed.

“Are you surprised?” Riker asked, feeling out of breath as well.

Wesley hopped off the table and flushed scarlet at his own arousal. “Permission to return to my quarters.”

“Granted. Come here.” Riker pulled him in for a final kiss. He would send Wesley off, happy and sleepy and aroused, and Riker still had to command the bridge for the rest of the night.

“See you tomorrow?” Wesley asked.

“Of course.” Riker brushed some hair off Wesley’s forehead, embracing him tightly. “Promotion day. Sleep well. I want you to be fresh and sexy tomorrow.”

“And tomorrow night?”

“I’m free.”

Wesley wheezed softly. “Good night, Commander.”

Another kiss. “Night, Ensign.”

Wesley sighed and slowly walked out, and then disappeared into the night. Riker sighed as well, taking a seat in the desk chair. He respected Picard, but he really had to relieve himself after the young ensign was wiggling all over him. What Picard didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again!


	4. Chapter 4

It was a big week for Wesley Crusher. He had done the unthinkable; become a Starfleet officer before attending the Academy and not to mention, he had gotten Riker after years of pining. Wesley strutted down the hall in his new red Starfleet uniform, his rank pips gleaming in the overhead lighting. He felt confident and capable of anything.

The promotion ceremony had been small yet moving. All senior officers were present as Captain Picard officially named Wesley as ensign. Riker had smiled so hard it would seem his face might crack. Beverly was almost in tears.

“I never dreamed this… your father never would have dreamed this,” Beverly said as she hugged her son. “But I knew. I always knew you were destined for great things.”

“Mom,” Wesley replied fondly and as she hugged him tight, Wesley caught sight of Riker over her shoulder. He pointed to his own red shirt and then at Wesley’s. Wesley grinned.

It was a few weeks until his eighteenth birthday, and that meant big things for Wesley. He’d finally be a man. He’d get his own quarters. He could legally decide things for himself, with no interference from his mother. She was always supportive and never got in his way, as Wesley was generally a responsible kid, but the idea was thrilling.

The next thing Wesley had to face were his Academy placement exams. He knew he would ace the academics, but he was worried about the physical tests. He could barely walk from one side of the bridge to the other without losing his breath completely.

“Tell me,” Wesley said to Riker later that night, in Riker’s quarters. “You took all the exams.”

“I did,” Riker said as he poured some wine for the two of them. “It was a while ago. They might be different.”

“Starfleet is as traditional as anything. I doubt it’s changed.”

“Let’s see…” Riker reclined on the couch, and Wesley curled up in the nook made by the bend at Riker’s waist. “There’s running.”

“Oh.” Wesley sagged.

“There’s weight training tests. There’s something of a survival test. I believe there is swimming, and tests in various states of gravity.”

“You probably passed them all easily.”

“I did,” Riker said again. He smiled and pinched Wesley’s middle. “I didn’t do so well on the academic side.”

“What was your major?”

“Tactical. I minored in Helm and Navigation.”

Wesley nodded. Of course Riker had majored in Tactical. He was a tactical genius.

“I’m going for Engineering,” Wesley said. “Haven’t figured out a minor yet. Probably Nanotechnology”

“It’ll come to you. I didn’t decide on Helm and Nav until the last minute. One of my advisors said it would be a good move.” Riker smiled. “He was right.”

Wesley was temporarily calmed, thinking about the academic side of the Academy. He took a long sip of his wine and smoothed out his uniform. “Does it look good on me?”

“Stand up.”

Wesley stood and took a few steps back, smiling bashfully. He felt Riker’s eyes wash over him.

“It looks outstanding on you,” Riker said. “Turn around.”

Wesley turned slowly, aware of how tightly fitting his pants were. He allowed Riker a nice long look at his ass, and then he joined him again on the couch. They kissed slowly, hands exploring every part of each other’s bodies over their clothes. Wesley felt the back of his neck overheat and he had to pull away, sitting on Riker’s thighs.

He wanted to go further. He wanted Riker to claim him completely. He wanted them both to lose their clothes and just give in.

Just the thought made him wheeze, and Riker rubbed his back soothingly.

“This… between us,” Wesley said quietly. “I want…”

Riker looked at him steadily, eyes dark and heavy-lidded. “More?”

Wesley nodded.

“When you’re feeling better,” Riker said lowly. “When you’re healed a little more, you’ll get more.I won’t be able to stop myself at that point. It’s hard for me now, you know.”

“Hard,” Wesley repeated, smoothing his fingers along the bulge in Riker’s pants.

“Yes,” Riker said with a little laugh. “You know I want you, right?”

Wesley’s stomach flipped.

“And I’m pretty sure…” Riker rubbed his own palm across Wesley’s growing arousal. Wesley whimpered softly. “It’s mutual.”

“You have no idea,” Wesley said, literally pained.

“It’s going to be good,” Riker said with confidence, giving Wesley’s groin a soft squeeze. “I know you’ve had some girlfriends but have you ever been with another man?”

Wesley shook his head. “How many men have you been with?”

“Enough,” Riker said with a wink.

Wesley let out a shaky breath, pressing his hips and groin to Riker’s hand.

Riker smiled. “It’ll be good,” he said again, this time deciding it for Wesley, too. “But you’re going to need your lungs full of air, and a little more stamina.”

“Just like the Starfleet physical tests.”

“We’ll work on that, too.”

Wesley grinned. He let out a long, slow breath and shook his head. “But it’s hardly fair for you.”

Riker shrugged a shoulder, his expression tender. “You’re worth it.”

Wesley didn’t know if he was, but Riker seemed very sincere. Of course Wesley thought Riker was more than worth it - how many years had he been in love with him now?

He wheezed again, and Riker pulled him down to lie on his chest. Riker rubbed his back and Wesley felt so content that he could fall asleep.

So he did.

 

***

 

Wesley was surrounded by cherry blossom trees. Their scent was hypnotic, and everywhere petals fluttered to the ground. The sky was blue and pink, the weather warm and sunny. He could see a beautiful pagoda nearby, and a lake splayed out behind him, glistening in the sun.

Riker stood before him, dressed in an old Starfleet Academy t-shirt and track pants. Wesley wore a sleeveless shirt and drawstring pants that stopped just below his knees. They were both covered in a thin layer of sweat.

“Anticipate my next step,” Riker said, his fists up in a defensive stance. “You’ll learn how predictable people can actually be.”

Wesley narrowed his eyes and concentrated, ready to lunge at Riker. They were training for Wesley’s Academy physical test, and simple hand-to-hand combat was part of it. Riker had set up a holodeck program for them, a terrace in ancient Japan. It was hot, and Wesley kept eyeing the lake longingly.

“I guess…” Wesley dipped to the right and Riker easily held him off with one hand.

“You’re thinking too hard about it,” Riker said.

“I’m not thinking at all.”

“Liar.” Riker let go of Wesley’s hand and put his defenses back up. “Trick me.”

“I can’t.” Wesley dropped his arms to his side and appeared to give up. Riker kept his stance, watching Wesley critically.

“Just relax.”

Wesley let out a small wheeze, and felt angry for a moment. He wasn’t going to let the Academy physical test beat him. He tensed his shoulders and lunged at Riker, cuffing him in the shoulder and Riker stumbled back, surprised. He nodded approvingly and let down his guard. “See? You can do it.”

“Well, no opponent will ever be like you.” Wesley said bashfully.

Riker grinned and scooped Wesley into his arms, covering his neck with hot kisses and making Wesley even hotter than he was before. Wesley wiggled in Riker’s arms, smoothing his hands over Riker’s shirt. He found Riker’s lips and they kissed roughly, riled up from training. Wesley’s entire body flushed and he pressed his hips against Riker’s as they made out. He could feel Riker’s hardness against his pelvis. Wesley gasped and dropped his hand down, wanting so much to slip his fingers under Riker’s pants and really feel it.

Riker pulled back, panting, and looked over his shoulder at the lake. “Maybe a swim?” he suggested, his eyes dark.

“God, yes,” Wesley replied. He kissed Riker again, standing on his toes so they were almost eye to eye. Riker slid a hand over the swell of Wesley’s ass and pulled him toward the bank.

“C’mon,” Riker said in a low tone. “Skinny dip.”

Wesley stood as Riker walked toward the lake, trembling with anticipation. This was it. They would undress and be completely exposed to each other. Wesley had imagined something like this for so long, he couldn’t believe that it was about to happen. He felt a familiar tug in his groin and he wondered if he would come in his pants like a newly pubescent teenager. He took a deep breath, a wheeze catching in his throat. He really hoped the holodeck was locked.

Of course it was locked. Riker typically thought of everything.

Wesley gingerly walked to the bank and took off his shoes, one by one. The grass poked through his toes and he felt cooler instantly, though infinitely more nervous. Riker stepped up to him and kissed his neck, sliding his hands down to the hem of Wesley’s shirt. “Okay?” Riker murmured.

Wesley nodded, allowed Riker to pull his shirt off over his head. Wesley shivered as the air met his skin, despite the heat. He watched as Riker looked at him appraisingly, and Wesley suddenly felt coy. He was skinny, gangly, but it was clear that Riker liked what he saw. Feeling bolder, Wesley’s hands landed at the drawstring of his pants, and he tugged the laces until the pants slid low on his hips. Riker’s eyes trailed down and he took hold of one of the strings.

Wesley shimmed out of his pants and shorts, leaving them in a pool at his feet. Now he was completely naked, in front of Riker. He kept his eyes on the older man, completely aware that his dick was hard and nudging Riker’s thigh.

Without a word, Riker pulled his own shirt off over his head and stepped out of his pants. He was also hard, and Wesley swallowed roughly at the size and perfection of Riker’s dick. He took in the rest of Riker’s body; broad, strong, trim waist with a dusting of dark hair in all the right places. It was everything Wesley had imagined, and better.

They fell into each other's arms, skin to skin contact finally realized. Wesley felt Riker’s hand stroke down his back until he clapped his ass, squeezing, their dicks pressing together between them. Wesley let out a little moan and Riker grunted in return, his low voice right in Wesley’s ear, sending a deep shiver through Wesley’s body. Being with Riker was nothing like being with the few girls Wesley had dated and fucked. They weren’t as exciting or dominating, and Wesley hadn’t been head over heels in love with them. Not like with Riker. Riker was everything, and Wesley couldn’t believe this was happening. He couldn’t believe that Riker had chosen him.

Practically melting in Riker’s arms, Wesley drooped, letting himself be pet all over, letting Riker explore him. They sidestepped until their toes found water, and Riker let go of Wesley and sunk in first.

“How is it?” Wesley asked shyly.

“Come here.”

Wesley’s belly flipped and he sunk into the water with Riker, immediately attaching himself and wrapping his legs around Riker’s waist. They grinded together a little, Riker latching his lips onto Wesley’s neck, the refreshing water splashing around them.

“Is this even allowed in the holodeck?” Wesley gasped out.

“It is, when you’re second in command,” Riker replied against Wesley’s skin. Wesley’s stomach swirled pleasantly, the mention of Riker’s power absolutely a turn-on for him.

“If you say so, Commander,” Wesley replied with some cheek. They kissed deeply, Wesley’s hand trailing under the water to stroke Riker’s hard flesh. Riker growled low in his throat and pressed into Wesley’s palm, letting his own hand wander underneath and taking hold of Wesley’s arousal. Wesley cried out; he hadn’t been touched there by anyone other than himself in a while. Riker’s fingers skillfully stroked up, down, splayed around the base, and even tickled the sensitive skin just behind. Wesley mewled softly. He’d never been touched with such skill, not even by his own hands.

Wesley squeezed his thighs on either side of Riker’s hips in a vice grip, practically supported by the older man. Riker worked his fingers around Wesley’s dick, bringing him almost to the edge of orgasm and then pulling back. It would be cruel if Wesley wasn’t loving it.

Then Wesley felt Riker’s fingers trail further down, behind his balls. Wesley steadied his breath, hoping not to wheeze in this moment because he knew where this was going. This was it. He knew that Riker was preparing to take him completely, there in the Japanese cherry blossom holodeck program.

“Yes,” Wesley whispered. He was ready, and they locked eyes.

Riker nodded. “Do you like that?”

“Go,” was all Wesley could say, his eyes closing and head falling back. He felt Riker’s lips on his exposed throat and Wesley let out a shaky sigh. Riker had one hand wrapped around Wesley’s dick, and the other was behind Wesley, resting on the small of his back, fingers resting just inside the crease of Wesley’s ass. “Please.”

“Let’s just…” Riker kissed Wesley’s lips, and then his fingers crept down to nudge Wesley’s hole. Wesley squeezed his eyes shut tight, repeated little breathy yesses over and over.

Finally, Riker pressed a finger inside of him, and Wesley nearly imploded. Riker pushed deeper, pumping and squeezing Wesley’s dick, and Wesley felt his balls tighten. He was going to lose it soon. He couldn’t hold it much longer, and as Riker pushed a little deeper and curled his finger, Wesley came hard in the water, crying out.

Riker stroked Wesley’s back and peppered his neck and face with kisses as Wesley wilted in his arms, panting, trying so hard not to lose his breath and ruin it for the both of them. Riker still had a finger inside him and Wesley squirmed, trying to push it deeper, tightening and contracting as Riker groaned.

And then, Riker pulled his finger out and held Wesley against him, his hard dick still pressing against Wesley’s stomach.

“More,” Wesley breathed. “Please. I’m ready. Let’s…”

Riker held the small of Wesley’s back, and stroked down his shoulder. “Let’s get out of the water.”

Wesley nodded, dazed, and followed Riker up onto the bank. He was trembling, itching for more action. He practically climbed on Riker when they were out of the water, kissing his neck and arms, but Riker seemed a little distant.

“Are we…?” Wesley swallowed hard, the wind causing him to shiver. “Please.”

“Computer, a couple of towels,” Riker said, and two towels appeared in front of them. Riker picked one up and wrapped it around Wesley’s shoulders. He took the other for himself.

“Why…” Wesley didn’t understand. He supposed being dry and warm for sex was something Riker preferred. He hugged the towel around him and waited for Riker’s next move.

“Let’s get you home,” Riker said quietly.

“But…” Wesley shook his head. “I told you I was ready. You put your… You were in me. Don’t you want to?”

Riker picked up his clothes and put them on, cringing as he pulled his pants over his arousal. He handed Wesley’s clothes to him, and Wesley took them, stupefied.

“Did I do something?”

“I just think it’s time to go,” Riker said. He draped the towel around his shoulders and stroked Wesley’s arm. Wesley recoiled slightly at the touch. He was still incredibly aroused.

“I don’t understand,” Wesley said stubbornly, still wrapped in a towel, clothes in hand.

Riker pulled Wesley to him and kissed his forehead. “Get dressed, it’s getting cold.”

“Don’t you want me?” Wesley asked in a small voice. “Don’t you want to, like… be with me?”

“More than anything.” Riker went about putting on his shoes.

“You’re not acting like you do.”

Riker raised an eyebrow.

“Forget it.” Wesley walked up the bank, sloppily pulling on his clothes as he went.

“Wes,” Riker called out.

“See you later,” Wesley replied dully. He dropped the towel on the ground and held his shoes. “Computer, let me out.”

A door appeared, and Wesley looked over his shoulder one last time. Riker gazed back at him and shrugged. Wesley shook his head and walked through the door. He hurried back to his quarters, slightly hoping that Riker would come after him.

But Will Riker didn’t chase after people. Wesley knew that much.

Wesley got back to his room and sat down on his bed, wheezing. He supposed he had ruined the best thing to happen to him. He knew he would eventually. He’d be leaving for Starfleet Academy at some point, anyway, and why would Commander Riker bother with him then?

Wesley frowned and lay down. He was aroused, more aroused than he’d ever felt. It was deep inside him, and there was only one person who could help him with that.

 

***

 

Riker lay down in bed that night feeling lousy. He should have been in great spirits. He’d had a great day in the holodeck with Wesley. They’d spent most of the time training for Wesley’s physical assessment for the Academy, had a great picnic, and then there had been the lake. Riker closed his eyes and thought of how Wesley looked. So smooth, his tight little body fit perfectly against Riker.

Riker knew he shouldn’t have put a finger in Wesley, but he couldn’t stop himself. He had to know what it was like, how tight Wesley’s hole was. And he had been very tight, but very inviting. Riker sighed, feeling himself get aroused again.

There was one problem. Wesley was seventeen. It had taken every ounce of willpower that Riker had to pull back, and he couldn’t explain it to Wesley. He was afraid Wesley would make an excuse, justify it. After all, Wesley’s birthday was in one week. He was close enough to eighteen, right?

But no. That had always been one of Riker’s hard and fast rules. No sex with minors. Even minors on the brink of the eighteen threshold. Even minors as delicious as Wesley, writhing against him in the water, his hole tightening and expanding around Riker’s probing finger.

He knew Wesley was angry with him. Riker could live with that; he wasn’t about to break one of his rules, and he didn’t want to cheapen their relationship by doing so. Wesley was special. Riker had a feeling they could be good together for a long time. He wanted to romance Wesley, make him feel adored. He wanted to hold onto Wesley as long as he could, before the young ensign inevitably went off to do bigger and better things. Riker knew Wesley was capable.

But until then, Riker would hold out. He would wait patiently for Wesley to turn eighteen, and then they could really begin. One more week.

There was a soft tapping on the door and Riker allowed it to open. He could just see the door from his bed, and he had a feeling he knew who it was.

“Permission to enter?” asked Wesley Crusher in a small voice.

“Granted,” replied Riker. He didn’t move, but gestured for Wesley to come to him.

Wesley crept over, dressed in his pajamas, and perched on the edge of Riker’s bed. He fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, and Riker waited for him to speak.

“I was a brat,” Wesley eventually said. “I ruined the day you planned. I’m sorry.”

“You didn’t ruin the day.”

“I didn’t improve it.”

“I seem to remember you improving it,” Riker said softly. He poked Wesley in the middle. “High point of my week, actually.”

Wesley looked at him and smiled. “Just the week?”

“Come here.” Riker pulled Wesley down and wrapped his arms around him, their bodies aligned under the covers. They shared a soft kiss and Riker put extra effort into making Wesley feel welcome. He stroked Wesley’s side and rested his hand on Wesley’s hip.

“Why did you stop today?” Wesley asked. “It seemed like we were gonna.”

Riker kissed Wesley’s nose. “We will.”

“You made me feel so good and I didn’t get to do anything for you.”

“You will.”

“Feels pretty hard right now,” Wesley commented, and Riker laughed lowly.

“You should stay,” Riker said. “Just stay and sleep with me.”

“No…” Wesley smoothed a hand over Riker’s hardness.

“Why?” Riker responded to the touch, rolling his hips forward. He was beginning to regret asking Wesley to stay. He wasn’t so sure of his willpower twice in one day.

“My mom wouldn’t know where I was, she’d try to locate me through the computer.” Wesley made a face. “Could get messy.”

“Messy,” Riker agreed vaguely. He yawned, feeling warm and comfortable with Wesley wrapped around him and stroking him. “Well, your choice. I want you to stay.”

“She doesn’t usually check to see if I’m there, though.” Wesley settled his head on Riker’s chest. “I’ll stay for a while.”

“Good.” Riker felt heavily tired all of a sudden with Wesley’s soft touches and warm body against him. He drifted to sleep just like that, and didn’t realize how disappointed he’d be when he woke up the next morning and Wesley was gone.

That was the first time Riker thought that he might be in love with the young ensign.

 

***

 

Wesley sat with his mother, eating dinner a few nights later. They were both in uniform, as they had each just come from long shifts on duty. Wesley was tired but almost deliriously happy. Shifts with Commander Riker filled with shared secret smiles and random touches did that to him.

Beverly took a sip from her wine glass and turned to her son. “So, young man, you have a birthday coming up and soon.”

“And my Starfleet placement tests.”

“How do you feel about those?”

“Nervous,” Wesley said. “I don’t think I’ll do well on the physical test.”

“That’s to be expected. You just went through a great ordeal,” Beverly replied. “I’m sure they’ll understand.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“You know the captain has great influence with the Academy,” Beverly reminded him. “He was even asked to be the dean some years ago.”

“I really don’t want any special help. That’s not how I want to get into Starfleet.”

“Wesley, take the help,” Beverly said gently. “You know you’ll be outstanding once you’re there.”

“Well, anyway, I’ve been training a lot for the test and I can’t keep my breath. Is there anything we can do besides my weekly breathing treatments to help with that?” Wesley asked hopefully.

“Afraid not, kiddo. We’ve come a long way in medicine, but some things are still too risky and complicated to experiment with.”

“You’re right,” Wesley said with a shrug. “They’ll probably understand.”

“Now let’s talk about something happier. Your birthday party this weekend. I’ve asked the people you work with to come-”

“Mom,” Wesley whined.

“What? They want to celebrate with you. Senior officers, Wes. Not every eighteen year old has such friends.”

“That’s because I don’t have any friends my age.”

Beverly ignored the statement. “Are you sure there’s no one else you want to ask? Maybe one of your girlfriends?”

“Ex girlfriends.”

“You’ve always had girlfriends. Isn’t there anyone special right now?”

Wesley felt warm all over, and his ears grew hot. Yes, there was. But maybe there was no point in leading his mother on about one thing. “About that.”

Beverly smiled. “I knew it. You’ve been over the moon lately. Have her come!”

“No, no,” Wesley said. “It’s just… girls. I don’t think…”

Beverly waited, sipping her wine.

“I don’t think I want to date them anymore.”

Wesley hoped his mother was sharp enough to catch his implication, but she looked confused for a moment. “Focusing on your studies and career? That’s not realistic, Wes.”

Wesley frowned. “No, I mean that… I’m not into girls.”

“Oh.” Beverly nodded, realization dawning on her face. “How long have you known this?”

“A while. Girlfriends were fine, but I was never really into it.”

Beverly smiled. “And now you’ve met someone who’s made you feel otherwise.”

Wesley blushed harder. He wasn’t ready to admit that much. Not at all. “Just been thinking a lot.”

“You know I love you.”

“I know.”

“I want you to be happy.” Beverly rested a hand on Wesley’s forearm. “Whatever that will mean.”

“Thanks, Mom.” Wesley’s nerves eased slightly, and they shared a smile.

“So maybe he’ll be at the party, maybe he won’t,” Beverly said. “I won’t push it any farther.”

“Of course you will.”

Beverly laughed. “At least now I know why you’ve been disappearing so much lately. I’d assumed you met someone. Be happy, Wesley. You’ve more than earned it. And I hope you’ll let me meet him soon. Hell, the ship only has so many people. Chances are I know him. Chances are I’ve examined him.”

Wesley wanted to change the subject. He knew his mother was a mastermind and could easily get more information if she continued down this path, and she was absolutely right. “You might. Anyway, I don’t need anyone else at my party. Whoever wants to come, can come.”

“I’ll spread the word,”

They finished their dinner and Wesley felt like a small weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He hadn’t known it was weighing on him, but the relief was palpable.

Wesley said goodbye to his mother for the evening, and as promised, she didn’t push for any more information. That in itself was a relief; now Wesley could move freely from Riker’s quarters to his own, maybe even spend the night without feeling like his mother was going to knock on every door to find him. Wesley realized he was lucky.

He traveled on the turbolift to Riker’s deck and felt that flutter of anticipation and excitement as he raised his hand to knock on Riker’s door. When the door opened, Riker pulled him in and immediately kissed him.

“You,” Riker said with a smile.

“You,” Wesley replied. He kissed Riker again and then went to the couch and splayed out. Riker followed, lying on top of Wesley, their bodies grinding together slowly and deliciously. Wesley gasped as he felt Riker’s arousal drilling into his leg.

“How was dinner with your mom?” Riker asked as they moved together.

“Good. So good.” Wesley grinned. “I hope you’ll be at my birthday party this weekend.”

“I wouldn’t miss it.”

“What are you getting me?”

“This.” Riker kissed Wesley. “And this.” Another kiss “And…” Riker reached a hand down to paw at Wesley’s dick over his pants, and then stretched his arm behind Wesley to cup his ass, finger massaging the crease. “This.”

Wesley sighed shakily. “That’s the best gift.”

“The pleasure will be mine, I’m sure.” Riker winked and sat up, pulling Wesley onto his lap. Wesley straddled Riker, facing him, with his legs on either side. “You look so good. You’re beautiful, Wes.”

Wesley dipped his head, eyes downcast and bashful at such a compliment. “I can stay the night, if you want.”

“Stay,” Riker said, eyes lighting up. “But no early gift.”

“No?” Wesley pouted his lips.

“No.” Riker slipped his hand down the back of Wesley’s pants and palmed his ass. “Maybe just a peek, though.”

“I like peeks.”

Riker grinned. He slid Wesley’s pants and briefs down over his hips and discarded them to the side. Wesley sat prettily in Riker’s lap, slowly pulling his shirt off over his head, and Riker slid down his own pants. His dick sprung into view and Wesley’s mouth watered a bit.

Wesley leaned forward and grinded their dicks together, his hand wrapped around the base of Riker’s. Wesley moved his other hand behind Riker’s neck, their lips pressing together, mouths opening. He felt Riker’s hand on his ass, trailing downward, and Wesley arched his back to spread himself more, inviting Riker inside.

Here they were again. Riker found Wesley’s hole and pressed a finger just outside, teasing the entrance.

“Please,” Wesley said against Riker’s lips. “Give me it, Commander.”

Riker made a noise of approval, low in his throat, and slid another finger to Wesley’s hole, He pushed inside, slowly, as Wesley writhed on top of him.

Wesley leaned his head on Riker’s shoulder, closing his eyes, feeling Riker’s probing fingers.

“Is that good?” Riker asked softly. “Tell me.”

Wesley couldn’t answer. He was breathless and focusing what remained of his attention on stroking Riker’s dick. He gained some wetness and used it to slide easily up and down, eliciting pleasant groans from Riker.

Riker exited his fingers from Wesley and moved his hands to grab Wesley’s hips, leaning his head back as Wesley stroked him.

“Maybe I could suck it,” Wesley whispered. 

Riker closed his eyes and nodded, releasing Wesley’s hips and allowing the younger man to slide down to his knees. Wesley put his elbows on Riker’s thighs and took hold of his dick, wet and hot in his hands. He leaned forward and kissed the tip. Riker shuddered and let his head fall back.

Wesley experimentally licked around the shaft, finding that he really enjoyed Riker’s musky taste and scent. He nuzzled the tip with his cheek and held Riker’s balls in his hand, squeezing, playing in the area. He pushed his thumb along the length, rubbing in lazy circles, lapping at the tip like a kitten. Riker groaned and slumped lower on the couch.

Finally, Wesley took Riker’s dick into his mouth, just a little at once, easing inside until he couldn’t anymore. He hoped to get better with practice but from Riker’s reaction, he thought he was doing just fine.

As Wesley sucked and swirled his tongue around, he stroked his own dick, missed the absence of Riker’s fingers inside him. Riker had one hand behind Wesley’s neck, the other in his hair. Wesley closed his eyes and moved his head up and down, letting his lips drag along Riker’s dick. He put a hand under Riker’s balls and played, squeezing, releasing, massaging. Just as Riker stroked under Wesley’s chin, the touch so intimate and soft, Wesley pulled back and came into his own hand. He panted, not believing that he had come first. He supposed sucking Riker off was a huge fantasy of his, and he gave his dick a few more strokes to calm himself.

Riker pulled Wesley up for a moment to kiss him, stroking the swell of his ass. Wesley purred happily, dazed, and then remembered the task at hand. He gave Riker another kiss and slid back down, immediately sucking in Riker’s swollen dick. He felt the skin grow tighter and warmer in his mouth. He knew it wouldn’t be long now. He sucked powerfully, biting just a little, causing Riker to groan out in pleasure. He could taste the wetness coming from Riker’s slit, and he loved it.

Wesley licked along the shaft, squeezing the base, rolling his fingers around the width as he sucked steadily, more, more, and harder until Riker began to tremble. Wesley looked up and saw Riker’s handsome face twisted, eyes closed, mouth open slightly. Wesley’s heart skipped a beat. This was exactly how he wanted to see Riker. He gave one last suck, and Riker came hard in his mouth.

Wesley pulled back, shocked, and licked his lips. He swallowed what he had taken in his mouth. It tasted like Riker’s musky scent. Wesley leaned forward and lapped at the head of Riker’s dick, causing Riker to shudder some more, the tip so sensitive.

Wesley crawled back onto the couch and sat in Riker’s lap, shoulder against him, and he felt Riker’s arms closed around. They shared another kiss, Riker panting from exhaustion. Wesley knew Riker could taste himself in the kiss.

Riker slapped Wesley’s ass. “That was… a lot more than just a peek.”

“I promise I’ll act really surprised next time.”

Riker laughed. “You’re incredible.”

Wesley smiled, rocking in Riker’s lap. He looked around Riker’s quarters. It was tidy, somewhat sparse, with some personality. Riker’s bed was inviting enough, there in the corner.

“So you’ll let me stay?”

“I’m insisting you do.”

Wesley nodded, and yawned. It was late, and they both had early shifts in the morning. Wesley leaned his head on Riker and closed his eyes.

Riker gathered his arms under Wesley and stood, picking the younger man up. He carried him over to his bed and lay Wesley down. He climbed in after.

Wesley stretched out in Riker’s bed, his naked skin smooth against the sheets. He had made it to Riker’s bed. He couldn’t believe it.

Riker settled on his side and pulled Wesley to his arms, and stroked his shoulders and hips and thighs. Wesley searched for a kiss, finding it, and they pressed together in their warmness.

Wesley loved Riker. He loved him so much it physically ached. He didn’t know how long this would last, or how much he meant to Riker or if it was even serious, but Wesley was completely happy.

 

***

 

Ten Forward was decorated festively for Wesley Crusher’s eighteenth birthday, a big event this night on the ship. A number of people had shown up: all of the senior officers, other crew members. Riker sat at the bar with Picard, and they each sipped some scotch. The ship was idling for the night, close to a starbase.

Wesley still hadn’t shown up, and Riker had last seen him that morning when Wesley had crawled out of his bed and scampered off to engineering. He had begun his Academy placement tests, and would be taking them for the next week. He had given Wesley a birthday morning wakeup, covering his body with kisses, teasing his hole, and stroking and sucking his dick until the younger man unraveled. Riker smiled at the memory.

Now Wesley was officially eighteen. Riker could really begin their relationship. He wouldn’t be hesitant or safe anymore. They would try not to get caught for now, for professional reasons, but everything else was fair game. Wesley was an adult.

Finally, Wesley walked in with his mother, and he beamed at the turnout of his party. He wore a formal Starfleet Academy uniform, brand new, and he looked good enough to eat. Riker stood, wanting to go over and greet Wesley with a kiss. He restrained himself and waited until Wesley made the rounds, thanking people, and then he finally got to Riker and Picard.

“Thanks for coming,” Wesley said brightly. “You really didn’t have to. This is great.”

“It’s an important day,” Picard replied.

“Feel any different?” Riker asked with a subtle wink.

Wesley grinned. “Not yet.”

“You wear the Starfleet uniform well, Mr. Crusher,” Picard said. “How are your placement tests going?”

“So far it’s been good. The academics are no problem for me, except for some literature stuff. I have the physical test in a couple of days.”

Picard nodded. “You’ll do fine, I think.”

“He will,” Riker added. “We’ve been training.”

“I envy you, Mr. Crusher,” said Picard with a fond smile. “Soon to go off to Starfleet Academy. Some of the best years of my life were spent there.”

“Yes, sir,” Wesley replied.

Guinan came over to them from behind the bar and smiled. “Happy birthday, Wesley. Can I do the honor of offering your first legal drink?”

“Yes,” Wesley said, sounding eager.

“What’ll it be? I restocked the real stuff on our stop at the starbase yesterday with you in mind especially.”

“Um…” Wesley glanced at Riker and Picard. “I’ll have what they’re having.”

“Bold move,” Guinan said. “I’m impressed. However, I don’t think we’ll make yours neat. On the rocks will do for your first.”

She deftly poured two fingers of scotch after adding some ice, and slid the drink toward Wesley. “On the house. Enjoy.”

Wesley picked up the glass, and Riker raised his. “To Wesley,” he said. “Eighteen years, but still not as old as this scotch.”

Wesley and Picard raised their glasses and they all clinked. Riker watched as Wesley took a sip and swallowed hard. He coughed a little, eyes raised. The scotch was good. Picard bowed to Riker and Wesley and took his leave to go talk with Beverly. Riker and Wesley moved away from the crowd a bit, casually.

“Happy Birthday, beautiful,” Riker said softly. “You look great, cadet.”

“Thanks. My mom got me all this Starfleet stuff, so I figured I’d wear some of it. Not really a cadet yet.”

“You will be soon,” Riker said. He allowed himself to put his hand on the small of Wesley’s back a moment. “Enjoying your first drink?”

Wesley laughed. “It’s nice to be able to get it at Ten Forward now. No more illegally sneaking it from you.”

“I’m still useful, though,” Riker teased.

“Very.” Wesley’s cheeks flushed, almost matching the red on his uniform. Riker let go of Wesley’s back and sighed. Wesley was eighteen, beautiful, and his, if Riker was lucky enough.

The party got started and everyone gave gifts to Wesley. Beverly had given Wesley most of his gifts that afternoon; Starfleet Academy gear that Wesley would need. He wasn’t leaving for a while but Beverly was so proud that she had wanted him to have it. She also gave him something that belonged to Jack, Wesley’s father.

“It’s a compass. Very old fashioned and obsolete now, with all our technology, but your father never went anywhere without it. He believed it was the purest form of navigation. When all else fails, you can navigate your way. I thought you should have it.” Beverly handed the device to Wesley, and Wesley turned it over in his hand. “Jack even etched his name on the back.

“Thanks, Mom. This is so nice. I didn’t know that about Dad.” Wesley slipped the compass in his pocket.

“Here’s one from me,” Counselor Troi said. She handed Wesley a wrapped package, and when he opened it, it was a book and a pen. “It’s a journal. Don’t laugh, but you’re coming up on some big changes, and it will help you to process things by writing them down. The act of writing is a physical manifestation of your thoughts and feelings onto the page. There’s a lot of value in it.”

“I guess I’ll try it,” Wesley said. “Thank you.” He pulled another gift from the pile, this one small and light. When unwrapped, it was some kind of gizmo.

“From me,” Geordi said. “I remember long hours at the Academy in the Engineering program. Gets pretty boring sometimes, so here’s a puzzle box. It has millions of different solutions, all of them difficult. Also…” He pulled a small bottle from his pocket. “Some Romulan ale for you to experience the joy of a debilitating hangover.”

Everyone laughed, and Beverly wagged her finger at Geordi.

“My present goes with that, I guess,” said O’Brien. He handed over a bottle. “The finest Irish whiskey.”

“Woah,” Wesley said, raising his eyebrows. “Thanks, guys.”

“I see you’re all bent on getting my son drunk,” Beverly said, rolling her eyes.

Wesley laughed and he met Riker’s eye. Riker smiled and shrugged.

Next was a gift from Worf, who handed him an impressive, small pocketknife in a leather sheath. “Even though Klingon children carry knives bigger than this when they take their first step, I feel that you are old enough now. This is from my collection.”

Wesley took the little knife out of its sheath and inspected it. The handle was engraved with designs and Klingon scripture. It was really beautiful.

“Thanks, Mr. Worf,” Wesley said. “This means a lot.”

Worf grunted and looked away. Data handed Wesley an unwrapped gift.

Wesley held the contraption in his hands, looking confused. Riker peered at it, trying to figure out what it was. He had never seen anything like this.

“I am very happy to present you with this gift, Wesley,” Data said. “This is something I feel that everyone should own. It serves one of the most important functions. I very much hope you will find joy in it.”

Wesley looked around for help, but everyone looked just as confused.

“What is that, Data?” asked Geordi.

“You do not recognize it? Well, I suppose that is reasonable. I think they are mostly used for decorative purposes, now.” Data nodded. “I have three.”

“Thanks,” Wesley said. “It’s great.”

“Here you are, Mr. Crusher,” said Picard. He handed Wesley a leather bound, heavy book. “For your studies. It’s not all math and science, you know.”

It was a collection of every Shakespeare play ever written, with critical analyses and accompanying historical information. Wesley thought it looked awfully dull, but it was very thoughtful.

“Also, Mr. Crusher, it is my pleasure to offer you your own quarters, now that you are of age.” Picard smiled. “It will be on the same deck as your mother, and it won’t be very big, but it will be yours.”

Wesley’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Don’t look so excited to move out,” Beverly said dolefully.

“Oh. Sorry, Mom. But really?” Wesley grinned, his eyes meeting Riker’s. Riker nodded. It was something he and the captain had discussed. It also benefitted Riker, if Wesley had his own quarters.

“Yes, really.”

“Thank you! Oh man, thank you everyone. The gifts were great.” Wesley began to shuffle away, when Deanna spoke up.

“Will, do you have a gift for Wesley?” she asked.

Riker smirked. “I do, actually.” He handed Wesley a textbook that read, The History of Leadership in Intergalactic Exploration and Travel. The book was massive and looked very old.

Wesley took the book and made a small face.

“Jeez, Riker, do you hate the guy?” Geordi commented, and everyone laughed.

“It’s a useful book,” Riker protested. “Haven’t read it myself, but it’s been collecting dust on my shelf since Academy.”

“So thoughtful,” said Troi, rolling her eyes. “You’re usually good at giving presents, Will.”

“I can’t be the best every time,” Riker replied. “Enjoy the book.”

Wesley frowned and set the book on the bar surface. It landed with a thunk.

“Let’s get the kid drunk?” Geordi suggested.

“Standing right here!” Beverly said in a mock stern tone.

“I’ll do a shot with you, Mom,” Wesley said.

“Oh, you’re on.”

The party continued. Riker tried to give Wesley some space, but Wesley kept gravitating towards him and Riker couldn’t resist being near him, either. He had to be careful; Beverly’s watchful (yet slightly intoxicated) eyes were on them, and he couldn’t be sure if she suspected anything.

Wesley did some shots, kept ordering drinks from the bar, and eventually uncorked the Romulan ale. He took a tentative sip and then pulled away, making a horrified face.

“This is awful,” he said.

“It’ll do the trick in just one sip, though,” Riker told him. “I dare you.”

“Euuhh…”

“I will if you will.”

Wesley grinned, his face flushed from all the drinking. “You first.”

Riker took a small sip from the bottle and recoiled as the warm, viscous liquid slid down his throat. His head immediately felt heavy, his level of intoxication jumping about five levels. Yes, Romulan ale was exactly how he remembered it.

“Commander?” Wesley smirked.

Riker nodded and took a few steps away. “Standing by,” he croaked out.

Wesley, never one to turn down a challenge, took an even longer sip and swallowed like a pro. He coughed a couple of times and sat, gripping the sides of the chair, dazed.

“Smooth,” he murmured, and everyone around him began to laugh.

“I knew it would be a great gift,” said Geordi. “Every man deserves at least one experience with Romulan ale. Don’t know why Commander Riker went for it, though.”

“Solidarity,” Riker explained, his vision blurry, and everyone laughed again. Riker glanced at Wesley, who was still sitting and gripping the chair. He looked hazy and flushed and so desirable that Riker couldn’t wait much longer. He wanted to take Wesley home and ravish him.

It would have to wait though, and as the night went longer, Wesley got drunker. Eventually, Data provided party hats for everyone to wear, as he discovered that party hats were essential to celebrating birthdays. Riker never thought he would see something like Worf in a party hat.

People began to leave as it got late, and soon, the only ones left were Wesley, Riker, Geordi, and Data. Wesley was babbling loudly about his heroes in engineering and physics, slurring his words, nearly sliding off his seat. Geordi couldn’t stop laughing at him, and Data still had on his party hat.

“The kid needs to go home and sleep it off,” Geordi chuckled.

Wesley waved his hands. “No, it’s still early. I didn’t tell you about how much I admire Dr. Gelroy Stjorlsen for all his work on intergalactic-”

“I know his work well,” Geordi interrupted him. “Would you like to be walked back to your quarters? We’re not letting you stumble back alone. Lord knows where you’ll end up.”

“There is only one place I will end up tonight,” Wesley said in a sing-song voice.

Riker cleared his throat. “I’ll walk with him,” he told Geordi. “Bev’s quarters are on my way, anyway. What do you say, Wes? Ready to go home?”

Wesley shook his head firmly.

“Okay.” Riker patted Wesley’s shoulder and pulled him to a standing position. Wesley drooped as he stood, blinking slowly. “Can you walk?”

“I can do anything.”

Riker knew they had to get out of there before Wesley started spouting out things he shouldn’t. He put an arm around Wesley, simply to guide him, and Wesley nuzzled his head into Riker’s shoulder.

“Looking for love in all the wrong places,” Geordi remarked.

Riker laughed. “Come on, Wes. Time to walk.”

“Carry.”

“No, no,” Riker said. “Walk.”

Wesley cooperated, following Riker to the exit. Riker grabbed the book on leadership and Wesley cried out.

“Don’t bring that awful thing!” Wesley wailed. “Worst present ever. I never want to see it again.”

“I’m taking it back,” Riker said indignantly.

“That’s even worse! What if I want it?”

Riker rolled his eyes and guided Wesley out the door. They walked down the quiet hall, Wesley swaying from side to side, and when they rounded a corner, Wesley threw his arms around Riker’s neck. They shared a sloppy kiss, Riker aware that anyone could come walking by. He tried to pull Wesley down the hall, but Wesley kept stopping and kissing Riker, slamming him against the wall, practically trying to climb him like a tower.

“Come on,” Riker said. “Time for sleeping.”

“No,” Wesley said hotly. “Time for you to give me my real birthday present.”

“Oh.” Riker frowned. He was hoping Wesley was too drunk to remember that. Riker had expected them to have sex after the party but that plan was revised; Wesley was too drunk.

“You said,” Wesley said, pressing a finger to Riker’s cheek.

“I know what I said. Let’s get you in bed.”

“I prepared,” Wesley said, trailing after Riker. “I made it nice and easy for you to just… slide right in.”

Riker groaned. Why did he have to say things like that?”

“I’ll show you,” Wesley went on.

“Okay,” Riker said, pained. He took Wesley’s hand and pulled him into a turbolift, on their way to Riker’s deck.

“Kiss me,” Wesley demanded in the lift, and Riker obliged him, pinning Wesley against the wall and pressing their mouths together in a hot, wet kiss. Wesley wiggled against Riker. “Want you so bad.”

“I know,” Riker replied. He stroked Wesley’s face. “But we gotta get you in bed.”

“Mmm, yes.”

The door opened and Riker led Wesley to his quarters. They went inside, and Wesley flung himself on the couch, lying down, patting the cushion invitingly. Riker stood and smiled at him. He wanted Wesley bad, too. He wanted to strip their clothes off, carry Wesley to the bed, and plunge deep inside him for the rest of the night. Riker was hard just looking at Wesley, had been hard since they left the party. He didn’t anticipate how sexually aggressive drunk Wesley would be.

He couldn’t do it. Wesley was blackout drunk. If they had sex, Wesley wouldn’t even remember it.

“Look at you,” Riker said softly. “Sexiest cadet I’ve ever seen.”

“I bet that’s not true.” Wesley kicked off his shoes, his eyes heavy lidded.

“It is.” Riker set down the book and took a step forward. “I’ve seen my share of cadets.”

“Bet you have.” Wesley stretched out on the couch like a cat. “Bet you tell them all the same thing.”

Riker chuckled lowly. Wesley had no idea how wrong he was.

“I don’t care,” Wesley decided. He sat up and stared at Riker darkly.

“Oh, you don’t?”

“No. Well, not right now.” Wesley pulled Data’s present out of his bag and started to play with it. “This thing is… this thing. Why would he give me this?”

“I’m sure Data had reasons.”

“Sure.” Wesley placed it on the table and lay down again. “Commander…”

“Call me Will.”

“No, right now, you’re Commander,” Wesley said. “And you should have your way with me.”

Riker closed his eyes for a moment. He couldn’t, he couldn’t. He left the room for a moment to go to the bathroom and splash some water on his face. He was still pretty drunk himself, and his willpower was at the end of its rope. But he couldn’t.

He returned to the room and groaned when he saw Wesley. Wesley had taken all his clothes off and was on the bed now, thighs apart. He rubbed at his hole with a fingertip.

“Come,” Wesley said. “I’ll show you something.”

Riker sighed, but felt relieved when he saw Wesley yawn. Riker could work with that. He went to the bed and sat down next to Wesley, allowing the younger man to undress him. Wesley’s movements grew slower, his yawns cutting through his words. When Riker was naked, he lay down and pulled Wesley’s wiggling, flushed body to him.

“Know what you’re doing,” Wesley said petulantly. “Won’t work.”

“Mhm,” Riker murmured. He kissed Wesley and began to stroke his back. Wesley closed his eyes, the weight of his head growing heavy on Riker’s shoulder.

“You owe me a present,” Wesley mumbled. “Mmm, that feels good. I love you.”

Riker paused in his movement, and looked at Wesley to make sure he heard him right. His eyes were shut, his breathing deep. He was asleep. Wesley wouldn’t remember anything he said that night.

Riker smiled and settled, arm still wrapped around Wesley. He’d give Wesley his actual present in the morning. He’d actually put a lot of thought into it, and wanted to give it to Wesley in private.

 

***

 

Wesley rolled over the next morning, head pounding. He’d been roused from a deep sleep by a noise beside him, and with great courage and strength, he opened his eyes and groaned.

“Good morning, beautiful,” came Riker’s voice. “How’s that head?”

Wesley groaned again and peered out from under the covers. He saw Riker standing next to the bed, fully dressed in uniform, smiling.

“What time is it?”Wesley croaked grumpily.

“Time for my shift,” Riker replied. “Really, though. How are you?”

Wesley moved a bit, the sheets sliding against his skin. “I’m naked.”

“Yes.”

“Did we?” Wesley made a face. He couldn’t remember anything past opening the Romulan ale.

Riker smiled again. “No. You could barely walk.”

Wesley sighed and slumped back down against the mattress. “Never again.”

“I hope you do,” Riker said. He sat on the bed and snuck his hand under the blankets to grab at Wesley’s nakedness. “Many times. You were cute. And sexy.”

“No way.”

“Here.” Riker handed him a glass of water and a couple of tablets. “For the hangover. And for the birthday…” He produced a small box.

“Something better than the leadership history book?”

“No, nothing is as good as that book.” Riker winked.

Wesley inspected the box, and then opened it. Inside was a small, polished, silvery stone on a plain pendant chain. Wesley picked it up and held the stone in his hand.

“Recognize it?” Riker asked.

“I do.” Wesley smiled. “It’s one of the Strunian samples. It looks so nice.”

“You don’t have to wear it,” Riker said. “I just wanted you to have something nice from our first mission together. Also, these.” He set a small vase of the Alaskan flowers on the bedside table.

Wesley practically melted. “You didn’t have to. You’ve already given me so much.”

“I know,” Riker said. “I like giving you these flowers, though. They’re called Dodecatheon pulchellum, but do you know what the familiar name is?”

Wesley shook his head.

“Pretty shooting stars.” Riker leaned forward and kissed Wesley. Wesley almost sank into the mattress. Riker was so thoughtful, very romantic; Wesley hadn’t expected that. Not with all the stories he had heard about Riker’s reputation.

“See you later?” Wesley asked hopefully.

Riker nodded. “Good luck on your placement tests today. Which ones do you have?”

“Biochemistry this afternoon. Physical test tomorrow.” Wesley frowned.

“You’ll do great.” Riker gave Wesley one more kiss and left his quarters.

Wesley drank the water and took the pills, and then rolled over to sleep a few more hours, still holding Riker’s gift. He stroked the stone with his thumb and sighed, content.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks :)


	5. Chapter 5

Riker didn’t see Wesley that night, as he had to stay on the bridge and work through the night. He was exhausted the next day and fueled himself with caffeine to get by. This made him even more tired and he fell asleep as soon as he got to his quarters the following night, not waking until the next morning.

It had been a few days since he’d seen the younger man. Not since the morning after his birthday. Riker really missed Wesley, he was surprised at how much he longed to see him. Then again, he was certain he was in love with Wesley. How could he even help it? Wesley was perfect to Riker; everything he looked for in another person.

It was the day after Wesley’s physical assessment for the Academy, and Riker was dying to know how he did. He located Wesley with the computer. Wesley was in his quarters. Riker knew Beverly was doing a twenty four hour shift in medical, so Riker walked to their quarters and knocked.

There was no answer. Riker frowned and leaned against the door. Maybe Wesley was asleep. He knocked again, louder this time.

The door powered open, and Riker walked into the dark space.

“I’m in here,” came Wesley’s voice from his bedroom. Riker stepped through the door and found even more darkness, and Wesley sitting on his bed with his head in his hands.

“What’s going on?” Riker asked.

Wesley sniffed, and it sounded like he’d been crying. Riker sat down next to him and rubbed his back gingerly.

“Wes?”

“I’m not going.”

“Where?”

“To the Academy. I’m not going. I failed my physical test because I lost my breath and couldn’t do anything without almost passing out.” Wesley exhaled jaggedly, his shoulders shaking. “So I failed. I can’t go without being able to at least run a mile. I couldn’t handle the gravity tests. I couldn’t do any of the simulations.”

“But surely…” Riker frowned. “You don’t leave for another year. You’ll be better by then?”

“Maybe. Probably. But now is the time for assessing. You know that.” Wesley began to cry again, and Riker put his arm around him. “I messed up.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“My mom told me I would have trouble. She told me I wasn’t going to be able to do anything too taxing, and I thought that meant I’d just be a little more out of breath than usual. But I couldn’t do any of it. My body locked up and my lungs closed.”

Riker squeezed him. “Maybe the captain can put in a special request.”

“No.” Wesley looked at Riker, his eyes wet. “You know how it is at the Academy. They have rules and standards. It’s been that way for years. Why are you even trying to think of a way?”

“Because I know how much you want to go.”

Wesley scoffed.

“Besides, you’re going for engineering and nanotech, right? I don’t think you particularly need to be in top physical condition for that combination.” Riker frowned again. “Expectations are different for each major and minor combo.”

“Yeah, I changed my mind,” Wesley mumbled.

“What?”

“I changed. Still Engineering, but I changed minors from Nanotechnology to Helm and Navigation.”

Riker closed his eyes for a moment. That was his minor. He knew exactly how demanding those assessment tests had been. “Wesley…”

“You inspired me. So I changed.”

Riker said nothing, just pulled Wesley to his chest and rubbed his back. The younger man gave quiet sobs, his body trembling in Riker’s hold. Riker couldn’t believe that Wesley had changed his Academy program because of him. If Wesley hadn’t changed, there was a good chance he wouldn’t have failed the physical assessments. Helm and Nav was very physically demanding.

“I can’t believe you did that,” Riker said softly. “Why did you?”

“You made it sound so good. I wanted… I don’t know, be as good as you are.”

Riker sighed. “Do you regret it now?”

Wesley pulled away. “No. No way. Keeping my original program would’ve been too easy. Not challenging.”

“I think nanotech would have challenged you a little.”

“But with Helm and Nav, I’ll get so many more useful skills. I’ll get leadership, tactical, combat, piloting.”

Riker paused. “So you’re going to reapply for next year?”

“I guess. I don’t know.” Wesley looked at the floor. “You don’t have to stay, you know. I know how stupid you think I am. Whatever we are, we can end it. Maybe I won’t even stay on the Enterprise.”

“Wesley…”

“I couldn’t even get into the Academy,” Wesley said miserably. “Maybe I’m not cut out for this stuff. I don’t belong here. I’m probably an embarrassment now.”

Riker wasn’t going to beg him to stay or shower him in compliments. He wanted Wesley figure it out on his own, develop his own self worth. He would, however, insist that Wesley try again for next year. Wesley had just been through a major trauma. Of course his body wasn’t ready for all that training and physical demand.

Riker pulled Wesley’s face to his and kissed him, Wesley still trembling. “You’ll be fine,” Riker said softly. “We’ll figure it out. You’re still the youngest, smartest, sexiest ensign to ever get his rank.”

“You really think Captain Picard will let me stay and work on the ship as an officer after this?”

“I know he will. Wesley, you’re exceptional. It’s not your fault you’re sick right now. You went through something - we both did, remember? I was there, too. I saw how bad it was. Starfleet can’t bend their rules for you, but we’ll work hard to train so you get in next time, all right?” Riker smiled. “Until then… you’re stuck on the ship, cadet.”

“Not a cadet.”

“You’re my cadet.”

“You really want to… I don’t know, help me? Stay with me? After this?” Wesley frowned. “Why?”

Riker wanted to tell him why, but instead he just kissed Wesley again and lay him down on his bed. He crawled on top and laid his own body on top of Wesley’s, stroking the side of his face and hips, kissing him down into the mattress. Wesley trembled still, and Riker slid a hand under Wesley’s shirt and stroke the smooth, warm skin. As they grinded together, Riker felt himself getting hard, and he could feel it from Wesley, too.

He pulled Wesley’s shirt off and tossed it on the floor, and immediately bent down to plant hot kisses all over Wesley’s chest and torso. Wesley squirmed underneath Riker, his expression of sorrow turning into one of desire. Riker spread his hands all over Wesley’s skin, gently rubbing his pink, hard nipples. He dragged his fingers down further to hook on the waist of Wesley’s pants, and he slowly undressed Wesley until he was naked and writhing under him.

Riker stopped a moment to gaze at Wesley, his flushed body almost glowing in the starlight. He fought the urge to tell Wesley again how beautiful he was. He was always thinking it. Riker pulled his own shirt off and Wesley propped himself up and busied himself with Riker’s belt.

“Are we alone for a while?” Riker asked, nodding to the door.

“Yes. All night.”

“Good.” Riker watched as Wesley nimbly undid his pants and then slid them down Riker’s hips, exposing his hard dick. Wesley leaned forward and kissed the head, then looked up at Riker, their eyes meeting. Wesley gave a little smile, his eyes dark. He leaned forward again and took Riker’s dick in his mouth as Riker knelt over him. Riker groaned and arched his back, thrusting gently into Wesley’s mouth, putting his hand on the back of Wesley’s neck.

He watched Wesley suck him, felt him lick and roll his tongue so deliciously around. Riker moaned low as he felt a little nip, Wesley baring his teeth and squeezing softly. Riker couldn’t handle it anymore. He pulled away from Wesley and leaned down, kissing the younger man and laying his body on top of him again.

They moved together, dicks colliding and mingling, creating a delicious friction between them. Riker stroked up and down Wesley’s side, buried his face in Wesley’s neck and kissed him there, drawing little mews from Wesley’s lips. After a moment, Riker knelt up again and pulled Wesley onto his lap, Wesley’s legs straddled around him. Their lips met and Riker’s hand trailed down Wesley’s back, to his ass.

Wesley gasped at the touch and arched his back, presenting himself to Riker’s hands. He dropped his head on Riker’s shoulder and nipped at Riker’s neck. Riker took both hands and spread Wesley’s ass, parting his cheeks and then probing his finger down the crease until he felt the heat of Wesleys hole. Wesley gasped again followed by a whining sound, his lips and tongue lapping at Riker’s hot neck skin.

“Tell me how you like it,” Riker breathed against Wesley’s ear. “Tell me what you want.”

“You,” Wesley managed as the sweat collected between them. “I want you.”

Riker’s dick twitched, his confidence boosted that this writhing sexy creature on top of him could say that. He pressed a finger inside Wesley, his other hand drifting underneath to stroke Wesley’s tight balls and dick. He was hot all over; they both were. He pumped Wesley’s dick steadily as he probed, his finger going deeper, and then adding a second finger to test just how tight he actually was.

Surprisingly tight, Riker noted, and he worried he wouldn’t be able to get inside. He carefully scissored his fingers, testing resistance. Wesley mewled and drooped heavily on Riker, body trembling, fingers grappling down his back.

“Too much?” Riker asked.

“No. God, no.”

That was all Riker needed to hear. He tensed his fingers and tentatively added a third. Wesley moaned and squeezed around Riker’s fingers, and Riker practically came. He wanted to get inside. He could just imagine how that tightness would feel around his dick.

“Please,” Wesley murmured. “I can take it.”

He contracted around Riker’s fingers a few more times, making shuddering sounds of pleasure with each pulse. Riker withdrew his fingers with a pop and took Wesley into his arms, kissing him with purpose. Wesley responded in kind, keening against Riker.

Riker lay Wesley down again and knelt between Wesley’s legs. Wesley watched him with wide, dark eyes. He spread his legs, never breaking eye contact. Riker put his hands under Wesley’s knees and scooted forward, felt the heat coming from Wesley’s hole.

“Wait,” Wesley said. He reached to his bedside table drawer and pulled out a small, shiny bottle. Riker smiled.

“Please,” Riker replied, gesturing to his arousal.

Wesley poured a tiny bit of the lubricant in his hand and slowly coated Riker’s dick. Riker closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Wesley’s hands on him. The contrast of cool liquid and warm skin was almost more than he could take.

When Wesley pulled his hands away and lay back down, a little smile on his face, he spread his legs again. Riker bent down to kiss all over Wesley’s body, starting with his lips, down his chest, torso, groin, and then thighs. Wesley squirmed, holding his legs open. Riker took the hint.

Riker positioned himself in front of Wesley, the head of his dick nudging just around Wesley’s hole. They both gasped at the contact. Riker felt his heart skip a beat as he looked at Wesley’s pleading eyes. He took Wesley’s legs, lifting them, and pressed his dick against Wesley’s hole.

Wesley groaned and dropped his hand down to grab around Riker’s dick. He positioned the head right at his entrance and held steady, then looked at Riker and nodded. Riker pushed forward, the tip just barely breaching Wesley’s hole.

“Relax,” Riker whispered.

Wesley nodded again, panting. He took a deep breath and exhaled, his body visibly relaxing.

Riker tried again, lifting Wesley’s ass slightly, and pressing in again. His dick slid in some more, causing Wesley to draw in a sharp breath. “Yes,” he murmured. “Put it in.”

He slid in deeper, slowly - agonizingly slow - and rolled his hips forward, unable to stop the gentle thrust. Wesley gasped as Riker’s dick slid in further, almost to the hilt. Their eyes met; this was it. Riker was in. Wesley let out a shaky breath and Riker felt his muscles loosen.

Riker slowly moved back and forth, developing a rhythm, and Wesley closed his eyes, his mouth open. His brows were knit, face flushed. Riker had never seen him look more beautiful.

Then Wesley tightened his muscles around Riker, and Riker cried out. Wesley looked startled for a moment, and then a devious expression came over his face. He locked his ankles around Riker’s back, tightening and loosing his muscles around Riker’s dick as Riker thrust in and out. Riker dipped down and captured Wesley’s lips in a kiss, and then angle cause his dick to slant in and drag heavily across Wesley’s prostate.

Wesley nearly shouted, clapping his hands down on Riker’s shoulderblades. “That,” Wesley gritted out, “again.”

Riker grinned and tried to hit the spot again. He angled himself lower, kissing Wesley again, and Wesley cried out, biting Riker’s lips. They had found a delicious rhythm and Riker, not worried about hurting Wesley anymore, thrust into him harder, his dick sliding in and out with ease now. Wesley was practically unraveling underneath him, a blissed out expression on his face.

Riker began to feel his balls tighten, began to feel the familiar heat stride up his thighs and into his groin. He leaned down to kiss Wesley again, to really hit the spot inside him, and before he could, Wesley cried out and came hard against Riker’s stomach.

Riker stopped for a moment and Wesley shook his head quickly, eyes popping open. “Keep going.”

Closer and closer to orgasm, Riker thrust steadily, petting Wesley’s stomach and dick, stroking all down Wesley’s sides as he moved. Wesley reached up to touch Riker’s neck and lips and just as he did, Riker came hard inside Wesley. His dick slid out and he came some more on Wesley’s stomach as Wesley writhed languidly in front of him.

Riker panted heavily, stroking his dick to get out the last few drops, and then collapsed on the bed beside Wesley. Wesley rolled on top of him and they shared a long, slow, lazy kiss. Riker stroked Wesley’s damp hair, admiring his eyelashes, his nose, his cheeks, his lips.

They lay there for a moment until Wesley lolled his head to the side, their eyes meeting.

“So, we have good sex.”

Riker laughed, grabbing Wesley’s hand and threading their fingers together. “Oh, yeah.”

“Really… good.”

“It’ll only get better.”

Wesley rolled on top of Riker, chests pressed together. “You really want to? You don’t think I’m just some stupid failure? What if people find out about us? I’ll embarrass you.”

“You could never embarrass me. Believe me. That’s an order.”

Wesley gave a small smile. “Yes, Commander.”

“Just don’t give up. That’s all I ask.” Riker wiped a stray tear from the corner of Wesley’s eye. “I care about what happens to you, you know?”

“Why?”

“You don’t always need to ask why.” Riker slapped Wesley’s ass and Wesley squirmed on top of him. “Wanna go back to my place? We can eat and talk some more and also….” He rubbed over Wesley’s hole with a finger.

“Yes,” Wesley said, a grin lighting up his whole face. They kissed slowly, legs entangled, Riker’s finger gently stroking up and down the crease of Wesley’s ass. Riker wasn’t one to commit to just one person - ever since his relationship had gone south with Deanna, he’d been careful not to so fully give himself to another person again. But he could really love Wesley. He could get used to this.

“Let’s go,” Riker said with a final slap on Wesley’s ass, and they quickly pulled their clothes on. Riker kept a careful eye on Wesley. He knew Wesley was devastated, but maybe this setback could be a good thing. Wesley would gain a lot more experience working on the Enterprise. He could study and train for the tests the next year, really be ready.

And maybe, if Riker was lucky, they’d spend the time together.

 

***

 

Wesley hurried into the conference room, hoping he wasn’t late. He’d been summoned to attend a meeting with the senior officers, something he’d never been asked before. He took it as a good sign; being included in these groups meant more responsibility and experience.

He was the last to arrive, and he took a seat in between Lieutenant Worf and his mother. Captain Picard stood at the head of the table with Riker sitting beside him. Wesley caught Riker’s eye and gave a quick smile, who nodded back. Also present were Data, Geordie, and Counselor Troi. Wesley sat up straight, trying to look attentive.

“Good, we’re all here. Thank you for coming,” Picard said.

“What is this about, Captain?” asked Data.

“A rather delicate subject. Mr. Crusher, I don’t mean to put you on the spot, but we have all learned about the outcome of your Academy placement tests.”

Wesley sank in his seat, his ears burning. “Captain…”

“I expect you’ll want to stay on board, here, and perhaps even continue your work as an officer.”

Wesley sank lower in his chair, avoiding eye contact with everyone. “I understand. I will make arrangements as soon as possible to leave. I think we have some family on Earth that I could stay with. Maybe…”

Beverly put a hand on Wesley’s forearm and squeezed.

“On the contrary, Mr. Crusher,” Picard said. “You are a valued officer on the Enterprise and we don’t want to lose you. I expected you would have that reaction. You’re too smart not to feel that way.”

“We’re not kicking you out,” Riker said with a wink.

“In order to successfully get into the Academy next year, you’ll need lots of experience, and perhaps some credits under your belt, to make up for this lost time. We can assist you with that,” said Picard. “There are a world of opportunities on board this ship, Mr. Crusher, to those who have earned it.”

“And I want you to know that you should come talk to me,” said Counselor Troi. “I can help you to process what you’re feeling. We should have sat together for a talk after the accident on Struna QZ. I sense that you have created a roadblock for yourself since that event.”

“There’s no shame in what happened, Wesley,” Beverly said softly. “We have a whole team here to convince you.”

“I’m glad you’ll be around,” added Geordi. “I can really use you in Engineering. Some of these morons the captain hires on just don’t understand how things work.”

Picard chuckled. “That’s enough, Mr. La Forge. I will keep you busy, Mr. Crusher, and you will work hard and give me your best effort as a Starfleet officer. Commander Riker has offered to continue overseeing your education, and I have agreed that it’s a good fit.”

Riker smiled and nodded.

“But, sir,” Wesley said, frowning. “Why do any of you care? Aside from my mother.” And Riker, he thought.

“Wesley, really?” asked Counselor Troi. “How long have we all worked together?”

“You display an outstanding sense of duty,” said Lieutenant Worf, somewhat stiffly. “Do not feel you have failed. You have worked too hard, tried too hard and too honorably for it to be a failure. I will always stand up for you, having known that.”

“Thanks, Mr. Worf,” Wesley replied, turning to look at him. Worf nodded in reply, and Wesley could feel a warm protectiveness radiating from Worf. He supposed it was a Klingon trait, and it was nice to be the subject of.

“I’ve put together a loaded schedule for you, Mr. Crusher, having sat down with Commander Riker and Mr. La Forge,” said Captain Picard. “Your skills are invaluable to our team.”

“So don’t run away to Earth just yet,” Riker said softly, his eyes on Wesley.

Wesley smiled back and blushed, and then looked away. He caught Counselor Troi’s eye, who looked thoughtful. She looked from Wesley to Riker a few times. Wesley felt his face flush some more and Troi appeared to nod slightly.

“I look forward to working with you, Ensign Crusher,” said Data. “I believe we still have much to teach and learn from each other.”

Wesley grinned, and for the first time felt like things might be all right. He dared to glance at Riker again, who was still staring at him intently. Wesley felt a rush of emotion flow through him. The meeting broke, and everyone went their separate ways. Wesley was about to walk back to his quarters when he felt someone take his arm. It was Riker.

“Where do you think you’re going, Ensign Crusher?” he asked. “You’re coming with me to the bridge.”

“Oh. Okay,” Wesley said, and let himself be pulled toward the turbolift. He stepped in with Riker, and they were joined last minute by Counselor Troi.

“Deanna,” Riker said warmly.

“Will,” Troi said. “Wesley.”

“How are you?” asked Riker.

“Fine, thank you. How are you both?” She blinked, her cheeks flushed. “Very good, I’m sensing.”

“Then why do you ask?” Riker teased.

“Don’t I get to know what you’re so happy about?” Troi asked.

They arrived at the bridge and Wesley sighed lightly with relief.

“We’ll talk later,” Riker said, touching Troi’s shoulder, and then guiding Wesley out of the turbolift by the small of his back. Wesley gave one last look over his shoulder at Troi, who watched them thoughtfully.

“Think she knows,” Wesley murmured to Riker as they walked to their stations.

“Deanna can practically read my mind at this point,” Riker said. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

Wesley made a face and sat at his station. He wasn’t ready for other people to know about them yet. Also, Troi was Riker’s ex. Wesley felt a little awkward about her zeroing in on the fact that he and Riker were together, but he supposed it couldn’t be their little secret forever.

But what did it matter? Wesley had a secure position on the Enterprise, and he had Riker.

 

***

 

Wesley squirmed in his seat at his station on the bridge, impatient for his shift to be over. Normally he wanted to work on the bridge all day, all night, and more, but tonight he and Riker had plans and they were both scheduled to get off at the same time.

“Final status report, Mr. Crusher,” said Captain Picard from his chair.

“All systems online,” Wesley replied. “I’ll run some diagnostics on the thrusters in the morning. They don’t seem to be performing to their usual standard.”

“Very good, Ensign,” Picard said, nodding. “I don’t see why you need to stay any longer.”

“Aye sir,” Wesley said. He tapped out of his log and stood, turning to glance at Riker. Riker sat next to Picard, and he smiled. “And I promise, first thing in the morning I’ll run those tests.”

“Enjoy the night,” Picard told him. He turned to Riker. “Number One, I know you’re due to leave as well, but I wonder if I could urge you to stay another few minutes so that I may go into my office and prepare some treatise paperwork we are sending off tomorrow?”

“Of course, Captain,” said Riker. Wesley made a small face and he left the bridge.

He rode the turbolift to Riker’s floor and stood in the hall for a moment. There was no one around; it was the time of day when everyone on the ship typically went to sleep. Wesley’s entire body was thrumming with anticipation. He’d been waiting all day to fall into Riker’s arms and have him all to himself. There was so much demanded of Commander Riker that it was rare he ever got to spend a night without being on call, but tonight was one of those occasions.

He was about to return to his quarters when the turbolift opened and Riker walked through. Wesley grinned and ran to him, throwing his arms around his neck and they shared a small kiss.

“Sorry about that,” Riker said. “Captain Picard swore he wouldn’t bother me until the morning.”

“He’d better not,” Wesley replied. They walked down the hall towards Riker’s quarters, Riker taking Wesley’s hand. There was no one else around to see them, and Wesley felt happy.

“What do you wanna do? I’m hungry,” Riker said. “I don’t think I’ve eaten since yesterday.”

“Are there any holodecks open? We could eat something in there,” Wesley said. “Maybe in Rome.”

“Rome?” Riker smiled. “How do you know about Rome?”

“I’m not an idiot,” Wesley said, pushing Riker playfully. “I read books.”

“Oh, I was under the impression you were an idiot. Sleeping with the First Officer to keep your job.”

“Yeah, a smart person would sleep with the captain.”

Riker grinned, his eyes dark. “Don’t you even think it.”

He wrapped his arms around Wesley and backed him up against the wall, pinning him there as he latched his lips onto Wesley’s neck. Wesley gasped and let his arms drop heavily to his sides. He closed his eyes and grinned, feeling Riker’s hands all over him, and finally Riker’s mouth was on his lips. They shared a hot, lengthy kiss, Wesley practically melting against Riker, unable to even move his arms to support himself.

“Want you,” Riker murmured against Wesley’s neck.

“Yes,” Wesley replied breathlessly. “Let’s go.”

“Halt right there!”

Riker and Wesley turned to see Lieutenant Worf clambering toward them. Wesley drew in a sharp breath and Riker’s face clouded over. “Lieutenant Worf-”

“Remove yourself,” Worf said loudly, and he grabbed Riker, slammed him against the opposite wall, and held him there with a forearm under Riker’s neck. Riker was immobilized and cried out, his arms lurching forward and pawing at Worf.

“Mr. Worf, stand down,” Riker managed, his face coloring red.

“Run away, Mr. Crusher,” Worf said authoritatively. “I’ll keep Commander Riker at bay until you are safe, and then I will detain him.”

“No,” Wesley said weakly.

“You’re out of line,” Riker croaked out.

“No, Commander, you are out of line. You are charged with abuse of power against your subordinate. Really, Commander. How could you take advantage of Mr. Crusher while he is going through a difficult time. I thought you had more honor.”

“Mr. Worf, please.”

“Wesley, run away to safety. I won’t let him bother you again.” Worf slammed his forearm more insistently against Riker’s neck. “You will not get away with this.”

“Worf, enough! Get your hands off me. I’ll explain.” Riker’s cheeks were red, his breathing erratic.

“You can explain in a detention cell.”

“No!” Wesley cried.

Worf jammed his elbow against Riker’s shoulder. “Mr. Crusher, I must insist-”

“Release me!” Riker shouted firmly. “I love him!”

Wesley gaped at Riker, and Worf relaxed his arm slightly. “What is this?” Worf asked.

“I’m not abusing my power. I’m not-” Riker squirmed. “Jesus. I love him, all right?”

Worf hesitated. He looked at Wesley, who could do nothing except nod dazedly.

Worf dropped his arm and Riker burst free, stretching his neck and taking a few deep breaths. He stumbled forward and Wesley went to him, horrified as he was. He touched Riker’s neck and Riker cringed.

“So this is… meet and proper?” Worf asked stiffly. He looked at Wesley for confirmation.

Wesley dropped his hand from Riker’s neck and folded his arms to his chest. He nodded and then stared at the floor. Did Riker say he loved him?

“I am sorry, Commander,” Worf said to Riker. “I saw you… and then I felt I had to protect Mr. Crusher.”

“Acknowledged.” Riker rubbed his neck again.

Worf made a grunt in reply and they all stood there a moment, silent.

“We’ll be on our way,” Riker said briskly. “Can I count on your discretion for the time being, in exchange for my not reporting that you attacked your commanding officer?”

“I see no reason to pursue this any further.” Worf looked at Wesley sharply. “Come to me if anything is troubling you.”

“Yes, sir,” Wesley murmured, fighting back a wheeze.

“Continue your evening, gentlemen. I will keep what I saw to myself,” Worf said and with a nod of respect and understanding, he went on his way down the hall.

Riker cracked his neck and grimaced. “I would go to medical under other circumstances.”

“I’m sorry,” Wesley said quietly.

“Why? You did nothing wrong.”

“He hurt you, and…”

Riker looked at Wesley, eyebrows raised slightly.

You said you loved me, thought Wesley, stunned by the realization.

“Let’s go to my quarters. I think I need to lie down,” Riker said. He put an arm lightly around Wesley’s shoulders and they walked quietly the rest of the way to Riker’s quarters. When they got inside, Riker kicked off his boots and collapsed onto the couch, groaning.

“He knows I have a bad back,” Riker muttered.

Wesley went to kneel beside him, and rubbed Riker’s neck and shoulders for him. Riker closed his eyes and sighed.

“It’s not how I wanted to tell you, you know,” Riker said. “It might even be too soon, but there it is.”

Wesley waited.

“I love you,” Riker said simply.

“Oh,” Wesley said softly. He bit his lip and watched Riker’s face for a bit. The moment was big, almost too big for Wesley, and he slowly got up to crawl on top of Riker, being careful not to hurt him more. Riker wrapped his arms behind Wesley’s back and pulled him close.

“Too much?” Riker asked softly.

“I don’t know.”

Riker nodded vaguely, slight disappointment in his eyes.

“It’s just…” Wesley drew up his courage. “I’ve been in love with you for the past three years.”

“And now?”

Wesley nodded, still traumatized from the Worf experience, but he felt more crazy than ever about Riker. “I thought maybe, you and I were just… you know, messing around. You know, until I leave, or until you… got tired of me or something.”

“I see. Did I make you feel that way?”

“No. No, no. I just didn’t ever think that we’d be like this.” Wesley frowned. “And it’s so good and I love you and it’s, you know, a lot.”

Riker finally smiled and leaned forward to kiss Wesley. “You’re too good to be true, you know.”

“What?”

“Come here.” They kissed again, so deeply that Wesley’s toes curled and he squirmed atop Riker, belly and groin pooling with arousal. Wesley massaged Riker’s neck as Riker groaned, moving stiffly.

“I could kill Worf,” Riker said with a low laugh. “Got the whole night off, you wiggling on top of me, and I can’t even move.”

“I wish we were in Rome.”

“We’ll go,” Riker said. “But for now, some room service will have to do.”

Wesley agreed, and was about to go replicate some food for them, when he looked at Riker again. “But, uh… What should we do? Worf knows.”

“He’ll take the secret to his grave.”

“Sure, I know that. But… if he found out, then other people will, too.” Wesley frowned.

“Ashamed of me?” Riker teased.

“Come on.”

Riker sighed. “We’ll deal with it as it happens.”

“Counselor Troi knows, too. Pretty sure.”

“I’ll take care of Deanna.” Riker kissed Wesley’s nose. “It wasn’t great, what happened tonight, but if you and I are serious about this…” He gave one of his disarming smiles. “Had to happen some time, Cadet.”

“My mom still thinks you’re responsible for almost killing me.”

“She’s not wrong.”

Wesley actually laughed, a wheeze catching in his throat. He felt giddy from the anxiety, from the knowledge that Riker loved him. “So, you really do?”

“What?” Riker rubbed at his neck.

“You know.” Wesley wiggled a bit on top of Riker again. “What you told me. Well, what you told Mr. Worf.”

“Oh, that.” Riker winked. “Yes.”

“Say it.”

“I’d show it, if I could move.”

“Please?”

Riker grinned. “I can deny you nothing, Wesley Crusher. Yes, I love you.”

Wesley bent down to kiss his commander once more, satisfied.

 

***

 

Riker sat down across from Counselor Troi in a cozy back corner of Ten Forward, smiling warmly. He really cared for Deanna. They had been in an intimate relationship for two years, Riker’s longest to date. He supposed part of him would always be a little in love with her, even though they hadn’t worked as a couple. Deanna knew Riker better than almost anyone.

Deanna sipped her hot chocolate and Riker swished the scotch around in his glass. Their eyes met and they smiled.

“How are you, Will?” she asked.

Riker sighed. “I’m good. I’m really good. I feel like we haven’t talked in awhile.”

“There might be a reason for that,” Deanna replied. “I feel you’ve been avoiding me.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. We have our separate lives, but I always hope we can come together as friends every now and then,” Deanna said.

“You know me better than anyone,” Riker said quietly. “If I’ve been avoiding you, it’s because you know the reason.”

“I might.”

Riker sighed again, took a sip of his scotch. “Deanna, when we were together… Was I ever difficult?”

Deanna began to laugh. “Will, you were immature, obsessed with your career, and pretty careless.”

Riker grinned. “They why did you agree to be with me?”

“Oh, you were handsome,” she replied. “So handsome. You were sweet, funny, romantic. You’re a good man, Will. All you needed was to grow up a little.”

“And now?”

“Well, you’re still handsome.”

Riker laughed.

“Why do you ask?” asked Deanna with a smile.

“I just wanted to know if I was good to you.”

“Will, there are things I was frustrated about when we were together, and a couple of things I would have liked to change, if I’d had the power, but you were always good to me.” Deanna smiled sadly. “I just don’t think the time was right.”

“Was it the career stuff?”

Deanna sighed. “Your career, your… lack of wanting to commit.”

“I did want to commit to you.”

“You were on the rise, Will. I wasn’t going to hold you back or beg you to stay. It took me a very long time to get over you, but I understood why in the end.”

“I am so sorry, Deanna,” Riker said softly.

“I know you are. I’m sorry, too.” Deanna smiled again. “But this isn’t the reason we’re talking right now.”

“No.”

“You’re asking me these questions because you feel a certain way about someone, very deeply, and you don’t want to repeat past mistakes.”

Riker looked her right in the eye.

“Yes, you feel very, very deeply,” Deanna said.

“I do,” Riker agreed slowly.

“I know,” she said, nodding. “I can feel it coming off you. Especially when the object of your feelings is in the room.”

Riker bit his lip. “Deanna…”

“And I can sense that Wesley feels the same,” she finished.

Riker felt like he’d just been punched in the gut. So, she did know. Of course she knew.

“How long have you known?” Riker asked nervously.

“I’ve sensed that Wesley has been in love with you almost from the moment he boarded the ship,” Deanna said with a little smile. “You… The strength of your feelings has gotten stronger lately, but I always knew you cared deeply for him.”

Riker nodded vaguely. There was no pretending with Deanna, not anymore. “What do you think I should do?”

“I think it’s too late for that question, Will. You and I both know that.”

“Say it wasn’t too late. What would your advice be?”

Deanna leaned back in her chair, quiet for a moment. “You’ve changed a lot, Will. You’re the same man I fell in love with all those years ago, but you’re so much more capable of love now. You’ve matured, you’ve made a name for yourself. You’ve been through a lot of things. You’ve secured an amazing position. My advice to you, is to give love a try. Do yourself a favor and commit. Wesley is young, but his emotional intelligence is far beyond his years. I see good things for you.”

“Really?”

“Remember, though, that he is fourteen years younger than you. He hasn’t even gone to the Academy yet.” Deanna reached across the table and patted Riker’s hand. “Don’t let him break your heart.”

“I think about that a lot.”

“Don’t let it sabotage you, though.”

“I really love him,” Riker murmured.

“I know you do. So cherish it.”

Riker nodded.

“Will… I don’t want to be insensitive, but you do know I have to report this to the captain, right? I want you to be aware, and not think that I did anything behind your back. You’re both Starfleet officers under Captain Picard’s command, and Wesley is your subordinate.”

Riker blinked. “What?”

“I don’t mean to be unkind.”

“Why? Why would you do that?”

“It is my job as counselor-”

“I’m not talking to you as my counselor right now.”

“Will,” Deanna said with a frown. “Please don’t make this hard.” She reached across the table and squeezed his hand again. “I’ve been in this position before, and it’s my duty.”

Riker sighed. “When? When will you make the report?”

“Well. I think we both know how to prevent my taking action. You know what you have to do, Will.”

“Picard…” Riker shook his head. “I don’t know, Deanna.”

At that moment, Wesley walked into Ten Forward, holding a couple of tablets and looking exhausted from a full day of work. Riker forgot his distress and smiled.

Deanna took Riker’s hand in hers. “Remember what I said. Don’t sabotage. Think about talking to the captain. No relationship can truly grow or be of substance unless it is honest and above water. We’ll be in touch about that.”

Wesley spotted Riker and Troi sitting together cozily in the dark corner, holding hands, and he frowned slightly. Riker stood and Troi finished her mug of cocoa. Riker gestured for Wesley to join them.

“Good evening, sir,” Wesley said formally. “Counselor.”

“Wesley,” Troi said with a smile. “Good to see you. I was just leaving, so you can have my chair. I think it belongs to you.”

“Oh, thanks,” Wesley said, giving Riker a strange look.

“Thanks for talking, Deanna,” Riker said. “I’ll think about what you said.”

Wesley sank into the empty chair, setting his tablets on the table, and Riker sat down across from him.

“Did I interrupt something?” Wesley said quietly. “You looked… close.”

“We were just talking,” Riker replied. “About the past, about the now.”

“Oh?”

Riker smiled. “Nevermind. Let’s get you a drink.”

“Shouldn’t we go back to your quarters?”

Riker tilted his head in thought. If they were going to be exposed soon, he didn’t see the point of hiding just to have a drink and some conversation. “No, we’re fine. What do you have there?”

Wesley glanced at the tablets. “Just some calculations for Geordi.”

“You look exhausted.”

“I am.” Wesley smiled a little. “Can I sleep over?”

“You don’t need to ask.” Riker reached across the table and ruffled Wesley’s hair. “One drink and then we’ll go?”

Wesley nodded. “So I really didn’t interrupt anything between you and Counselor Troi?”

“We were talking about you.”

Wesley paled slightly.

“Nothing to worry about,” Riker said lightly. He ordered a couple of drinks for them and they sat together quietly, the idea of the captain finding out about them weighing heavily on his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you!


	6. Chapter 6

“I really like it,” said Riker, looking around Wesley’s new, private quarters.

“Thanks,” Wesley replied. It was his first day in the new quarters that the captain had promised him, and Wesley had moved in as soon as they became available. The place was small, just one room with a couple of closets and a bathroom, but it was all his.

He had carefully placed his belongings around the room; a few rocks he’d collected, some models of complex molecular compounds, gifts he’d been given, and a bookshelf full of books he’d accumulated over the years. His gift from Data, which Wesley still wasn’t sure what it actually was, sat displayed on the table and Riker’s gift, the Strunian stone, hung on a little peg next to the bed.

Riker sat down on the sofa and smiled. “Is it weird to live alone?”

“I don’t spend many nights here, anyway,” Wesley said.

“Oh, right.” Riker stood and put his arms around Wesley, and Wesley turned away slightly. Riker frowned. Wesley had been slightly cold since Riker’s long chat with Counselor Troi. “Would it help if I apologized again?”

“You have nothing to be sorry for. She already knew, anyway. Just wish I’d known you were going to talk about us to her.”

“I would talk about us to anyone who’d listen,” Riker said, attempting to lighten the mood.

“I wish you wouldn’t.”

Riker sighed, staring at Wesley. He wished Wesley would forgive him, because Wesley looked especially delicious that day and Riker wanted to kiss him all over. Something about Wesley’s hair, or the way he smelled. It was irresistible.

“Also not thrilled about the ultimatum she gave you,” Wesley said. “Tell the captain, or I will? I can’t stop thinking about that. Everything is about to fall apart.”

“Not necessarily.”

“Seriously?” Wesley looked at Riker in disbelief. “You saw Mr. Worf’s initial reaction. Imagine my mother’s. Or worse, the captain’s. This doesn’t end well.”

“Wesley, come on,” Riker said. “I’m trying my hardest, here.”

“I’m putting your career in jeopardy. I’m not okay with that.”

“I’m not either, but you have to stop thinking the worst.”

Wesley threw his hands up. “I was rejected by Starfleet Academy twice. I’m a little used to the disappointment.”

Riker pulled Wesley to him and kissed him hard. Wesley gasped and wheezed slightly, melting against Riker, all the tension in his body unraveling like a tight coil. Riker pet Wesley’s back soothingly.

“She won’t tell the captain,” Riker said softly. “She’ll wait until I’m ready, and I’ll tell him. Deanna just wants to do her duty and she also wants to make sure I do mine. I won’t do that until you say I can.”

“Never,” Wesley murmured. “Don’t want this to end.”

“It won’t. You’ll see,” Riker said. “And I couldn’t help talking about you to someone else. You’re amazing. I’m a lucky man.”

Wesley sighed.

“Wesley…”

Wesley nodded, looking up into Riker’s eyes. “Okay.”

They kissed again, tenderly this time. Riker moved his hands up and down Wesley’s back and Wesley purred, all the tension leaving his shoulders. “You look really great, you know,” Riker said softly against Wesley’s skin.

“Haircut,” Wesley replied. He smiled and pinched the fabric of Riker’s shirt, leading him back towards the bed.

“Something else.” Riker breathed in. “You smell delicious, you look…”

“Follow me.” Wesley sat down on the bed and Riker joined him. They made out slowly, the heat between them rising. Wesley crawled onto Riker’s lap, straddled his waist, chests together.

Riker immediately pulled Wesley’s shirt off and tossed it on the floor. He felt the warm, soft skin of Wesley’s back and pressed his hands down until they slipped inside Wesley’s pants. He teased around Wesley’s hole and Wesley cried out, making quick work of his belt and slipping his pants down so that Riker’s could really get at his ass.

Riker sighed out and spread Wesley’s cheeks. Wesley bit his lip and crawled off Riker’s lap, and lay on the bed, limbs stretched out, dick hard. Riker shook his head, eyeing him wolfishly, and stood. He stripped his own clothes off, dropping them on top of Wesley’s clothes pile, and then quickly descended back down on Wesley.

“Need you,” Wesley whimpered, and Riker responded by reaching down to handle Wesley’s dick, rubbing it hotly against his own. Wesley trembled beneath him and Riker looked at Wesley, admiring his beauty. He smelled so good. He was so clean and soft.

“I want you… on your stomach,” Riker said lowly. “Roll over.”

Wesley whined but obliged, rolling over and arching his back. His ass writhed before Riker, and Riker put his hands on Wesley’s hips and bent down to kiss at the soft curve just above. Wesley gasped out and curled his toes. The fine downy hairs covering Wesley’s skin pricked up in anticipation.

“Commander,” Wesley murmured. “What...”

Riker didn’t reply, only nuzzled his cheek against Wesley’s ass and kissed the soft skin there. Wesley breathed out shakily, a small wheeze catching in his throat, and Riker pet his back. He took the warm skin of Wesley’s ass and spread the cheeks, massaging the skin with his thumbs, exposing the small pink hole. 

He rubbed a finger across the hole, and Wesley tensed, contracted his muscle. Riker leaned forward and inhaled; Wesley smelled so natural and clean, so desirable. He licked a stripe just on the edge of Wesley’s left cheek, and Wesley cried out.

Riker took it as a good sign, and continued to lick, soft little laps, eliciting frenzied little moans from Wesley. Wesley squirmed this way and that beneath Riker, as Riker held him steady with one hand on the small of Wesley’s back. Finally, Riker tongued just inside Wesley’s hole.

“Oh…” Wesley sighed, his body relaxing. He arched his back again, pushing his rear to Riker, and Riker smiled against his skin. He lapped across the rim of Wesley’s hole steadily, breathing in Wesley’s delicious, musky scent. Riker had imagined this for a while, and Wesley tasted just as sweet as he’d hoped. He reached between Wesley’s legs and toyed with his balls, still probing with his tongue. Wesley’s skin warmed all over and radiated against Riker. 

Riker bent down and licked behind Wesley’s balls, then returned to lap at his hole, and Wesley drooped languidly on the bed. Riker himself was hard, aching to plunge inside Wesley and fuck him senseless. The arousal burned in his belly and he slapped Wesley’s ass as he pulled away, licking his lips hungrily.

Wesley looked over his shoulder, eyes hazy. He flopped onto his back, thighs spreading apart invitingly, and Riker inched forward. He covered Wesley’s body with his own and they kissed hotly. Wesley reached to take Riker’s dick in his hands and pumped as they devoured each other’s lips. Riker groaned and enveloped Wesley completely in his arms, and pulled him up to a sitting position. He tugged him forward into his lap and Wesley leaned forward, draping his arms over Riker’s shoulders and digging his nails into his warm back.

Riker began to feel around underneath Wesley again, and breached Wesley’s hole with two fingers, still feeling the wetness there from his own tongue. Wesley drew in a sharp breath at the contact and tensed his muscles around Riker’s eager fingers. 

“Deeper,” Wesley whispered, closing his eyes. 

Riker obliged, and pressed his fingers in further, curling them against Wesley prostate. Wesley purred shakily as Riker pet somewhere deep inside him, and Riker’s dick twitched between them insistently. He put his strong hands around Wesley’s hips and nudged the tip of his dick at Wesley’s hole. Wesley shivered and kissed Riker’s neck, head heavy against Riker’s shoulder. 

Riker slid inside, slowly, the entry dry except for the wetness of precome, sweat, and Riker’s own saliva. Wesley groaned and squirmed, screwing himself down on Riker’s dick, his own arousal in his hands. Their eyes met and they stared at each other as Riker’s dick slowly eased inside Wesley, a startlingly intimate moment. Riker kissed Wesley’s collarbone and Wesley groaned as at the moment he was finally seated, Riker deep inside him.

“Just… wait,” Wesley murmured, his face beautifully flushed. 

Riker nodded, feeling his dick tighten and expand inside the younger man. “You like this?”

“I love this.” Wesley cringed, squirming around Riker. “A little bit… oh, there. Yes. Good.”

Riker smoothed his hands down Wesley’s back and thrust slightly, causing Wesley to groan again. Riker captured Wesley’s lips with his own and they moved together, slowly, not chasing for climax but feeling each other. Riker had never felt anyone tighter than Wesley, and yet they still fit just right. He focused his attention on Wesley’s dick, pressed prettily between them. Riker wrapped a hand around the length and stroked expertly, bucking his hips just so that he could hit the spot inside Wesley.

“Harder.”

Riker met Wesley’s eyes, and began to roll his hips forward, their bodies bobbing up and down as if in the ocean. Wesley cried out and exhaled sharply as Riker pushed his spot again and again, in a delicious rhythm. They fell down onto the bed, Wesley on his back, Riker hovering over Wesley’s body, still thrusting inside. Their hands met and Wesley turned his head to the side, blissed out, exposing his long neck. Riker kissed and licked the skin there and rolled forward with purpose; he dragged his dick hard across the sweet spot inside Wesley and Wesley cried out, fingers digging into Riker’s palms. 

A muffled sound came from the pile of clothes and Riker paused for a moment, angling an ear toward the mess.

“... Picard to… Please respond…”

Riker sighed and kissed Wesley’s neck once more, slowly pulled out, and knelt above the younger man. They were both panting, both hard, both covered in a fair sheen of sweat.

“Duty calls,” Riker said.

“No,” whined Wesley. “No, no, no.”

“You’re sleeping with the First Officer of a Federation starship,” Riker said with a cheeky smile. “Get used to these interruptions.”

“No, no,” Wesley protested, a tangle of limbs and flushed skin in the sheets.

Riker slapped Wesley’s ass and walked over to the pile, finding his uniform shirt. He kept his eyes on Wesley and responded, “Riker to Captain Picard. Can you repeat the order?”

There was silence for a moment. “Number One?”

“Yes, sir.” Riker watched as Wesley began to stroke himself, and he groaned.

“I paged Wesley Crusher,” replied Picard, sounding confused. “Why did you respond on his channel?”

Riker froze, realized the shirt in his hands was actually Wesley’s. “Oh, uh.”

Wesley sat up straight and stared with wide eyes.

“Indeed,” Picard went on. “Perhaps a signal was crossed. I need to speak with Mr. Crusher, do you know where he is?”

“No,” Riker said immediately, and he cringed. Lying to the captain. Not good.

“I will try to locate him with the computer. As you were, Number One. Picard out.”

Riker dropped the uniform and a few moments later, the badge spouted out, “Picard to Ensign Crusher.”

Wesley scrambled to the uniform and touched the badge. “Aye, sir.”

“I need you in Engineering,” Picard said curtly. “Commander La Forge has requested your aid on something.”

“Yes, sir,” Wesley said. “Right away.”

“Sorry to intrude when you have company,” the captain said, his voice stiff. “Picard out.”

Riker and Wesley were silent for a moment, and then Wesley slowly began to pull on his clothes.

“Wesley.”

Wesley shook his head. “You heard him. He knows. And worse, he knows we’re lying.”

“I'll talk to him. Right now.”

Wesley sighed. “Don’t do anything yet. Let me go check this out and then maybe…”

“Maybe it’s time,” Riker finished.

“Yeah,” Wesley agreed lightly.

Riker pulled on his clothes also and then Wesley rushed to him, forcing himself in Riker’s arms. He was tense, and Riker tried to sooth him, though he was tense himself.

“I’m sorry,” Wesley said. “The captain never pages me. I didn’t even consider it might be for me.”

Riker kissed Wesley’s forehead. “Go to Engineering. Come find me when you’re done. I’ll be in my quarters.”

Wesley nodded.

“It might be nothing,” Riker said gently. “I’ll go talk to him right now, if you want.”

“Just wait.”

“Aye, sir,” Riker said with a smile.

Wesley let out a shrill laugh. “That’s an order.”

“As usual, I can deny you nothing, Wesley Crusher,” Riker replied lowly.

Wesley sighed and pressed his hands against the back of Riker’s neck, pulling him in for a hot, long kiss. They stayed like that for a moment and then Wesley took a step back, miserable expression on his face.

“What is it?” Riker asked with a frown.

“I love you,” Wesley said in a tiny voice.

“Though it pains you to say it.” Wesley’s face fell, and Riker pulled him into an embrace. “I love you. We’ll get through this.”

Wesley nodded. “I’ll see you later?”

“Come by when you’re done.”

“Yes, Commander,” Wesley said and walked to the door.

“Call me Will,” Riker said.

“Never,” Wesley said with a small smile, and disappeared.

 

***

 

A day later, Wesley nervously stood outside the door of the captain’s ready room. The previous night, he and Riker had talked for a long time trying to decide the best way out of their situation, and Wesley had insisted he should be the one to tell the captain about them. Riker had wanted to take the hit for Wesley, to take the “blame”, but in the end they decided it would all seem more genuine coming from the younger man.

Wesley wasn’t so sure anymore. He wondered if he was about to ruin Riker’s career with Starfleet, and any chance of a future career for himself.

He entered the ready room and was met by Captain Picard and Beverly, who Wesley had also requested be at the meeting. Better to kill two birds with one stone, and these were the two biggest birds on the ship.

“Wesley,” Beverly said, looking concerned. She stood and touched Wesley’s forearm, brows knit. 

“Mr. Crusher,” said Picard.

“Sir,” Wesley replied. “Mom.”

“What’s the matter? You look wretched,” Beverly said. She guided him to a seat and sat him down.

“No, I’m fine,” Wesley said, and he stole a peek at Picard, who remained infuriatingly stoic.

“Then what is it?” Beverly asked.

“I think Mr. Crusher has something he would like to tell us,” Picard said plainly.

Beverly turned to Wesley and frowned. 

“I want…” Wesley swallowed back a wheeze, his condition always worse when nervous. “First, I want to apologize to Captain Picard. I never meant… I never meant to be dishonest, or to lie. Neither of us did..”

Picard flinched, a trace of emotion flickering on his face.

Wesley sighed, steadying his nerves. “The truth is…”

Beverly took Wesley’s hand and nodded supportively.

“I… We, Commander Riker and I, we…” Wesley looked down at his lap, feeling his mother’s hand tense. “We’re together.”

Silence followed, and Wesley didn’t dare look up. His mother’s hand relaxed on his, and eventually let go. 

“Mr. Crusher,” Picard said quietly, levelly. “Were you in any way forced-”

“No,” Wesley interrupted loudly. “It’s nothing like that. Please don’t even think it.”

“You understand why I have to ask.”

“Yes, sir, and I need you to know that there’s nothing to it.” Wesley glanced up momentarily and saw the cool expression on Picard’s face.

“Wesley,” Beverly began. “Are you sure? Will?”

Wesley’s ears burned and he squirmed uncomfortably in his chair. “Yes.”

“But he’s so much older.”

“And your commanding officer,” Picard added quietly.

“We didn’t want to lie anymore,” Wesley mumbled.

“How long?” Beverly asked. “How long has this been going on?”

“About four months. Since the end of school.”

“When you were seventeen?” Beverly asked, frowning.

“Not officially, I guess, until my birthday.” Wesley cringed. “I mean-”

Beverly closed her eyes for a moment, and the captain stood from his chair and walked around to the front of the table. He leaned against the front, folding his arms.

“Mr. Crusher, I want you to know that you can say anything you’d like in this room, and it will be considered confidential. You need not fear any repercussions. I am commander of this ship, and if I need to dismiss one of my officers, then so be it.”

“Sir, no,” Wesley said, horrified. “I know what you’re implying. There is nothing forced about this. Commander Riker and I, we… I love him. I have for years. I wanted to see if anything could happen between us before I left for Academy, so I put myself in his way a lot. I was inappropriate with him, especially as my commanding officer. But I love him. That never changed.”

Beverly reached over to take Wesley’s hand again, and Wesley felt his shoulders relax slightly.

“And yesterday, when I paged you, but Commander Riker answered.”

“We were together, yes.”

“Tell me one thing, Mr. Crusher. Why are you telling me this?” The captain sat in his chair again, looking tired. 

“I wanted to be honest. What happened yesterday is likely to happen again.”

“Commander Riker said he did not know where you were.”

“I was right there, sir. He was covering for me.”

“For his own benefit, I imagine,” Picard muttered.

“No, Captain. Very few things he does are for his own benefit.”

“Will is a good man,” Beverly said, sounding unsure. “I find it hard to believe that there’s anything ill-intended coming from him.”

“There is no man I trust more than I trust William Riker, but now I am not quite so sure.” Picard sighed. “The choices he’s made, and the choices you made, Wesley. I am not pleased.”

“Jean Luc, I don’t think that’s fair. This wasn’t Starfleet business. This happened between them, and Will doesn’t have to report everything he does in his personal life, and neither does Wesley,” said Beverly. 

“It does seem a rather major conflict of interest. Am I to assume that you’re happy about this, Beverly?” asked Picard.

“No, I…” Beverly sighed and squeezed Wesley’s hand. “I’m not against my son being happy, Jean Luc, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“You know it’s not.”

“And I know Will. So do you,” Beverly said. “Would he jeopardize his long, successful career for something so reckless? To just throw caution to the wind like this, all of a sudden? I have to think this is genuine.”

“You certainly weren’t pleased with Commander Riker back when he and Wesley went on that mission together,” Picard pointed out. “I seem to remember talking you out of scolding him and forbidding him to ever work with Wesley again.”

“That’s different. I would have been angry with anyone who had been with Wesley in that shuttle. It wasn’t personal.”

Wesley’s eyes darted back and forth between them.

Picard rubbed at his forehead. “Beverly, Mr. Crusher, you can go,” he said tiredly. “I have a lot to do this evening and I can’t spend the whole time talking about this matter.”

“Sir, I’m sorry,” Wesley said quietly. “I just thought you should know.”

“I tend to agree, Mr. Crusher, but there is such a thing as too much information, and I wonder if we have crossed that line just now.”

“Don’t be cruel, Jean Luc,” Beverly said.

“It isn’t cruel, Dr. Crusher. I have a large crew and I am responsible for the safety of each of them. It is my duty to make sure that no one is being abused, hurt, or worse by a fellow crewmember. I am willing to agree that there is nothing harmful happening between your son and Commander Riker, but I am not willing to know every detail.” Picard let out a long breath. “If you wouldn’t mind excusing yourselves?”

“Of course. Come on, Wesley,” Beverly said softly, and she ushered him out of the captain’s room with an arm around his shoulder.

As they walked slowly down the hall, Beverly rubbed soothing circles on Wesley’s back, and Wesley fought the urge to wheeze. They walked to Beverly’s quarters and entered without a word. Wesley went to sit on the sofa, and Beverly busied herself with preparing some coffee.

“Mom,” Wesley said.

“One moment,” Beverly said. “I’ll be right there.”

She came to the sofa with two mugs of hot coffee with cream, and she sat next to Wesley. Wesley stared at his lap, unable to look at his mother.

“Give the captain some time,” Beverly said. “He just needs to process it.”

“And what about you?” Wesley dared to look at her, and Beverly’s cheeks flushed.

“I’m… shocked,” Beverly said candidly. “I knew you were seeing someone, but I had no idea that it was…”

“Commander Riker,” Wesley supplied.

“Yes,” Beverly said in a brisk tone. “How did this come about?”

“It’s what I told the captain. I put myself in his way and eventually, he…” Wesley blushed. “I was persistent.”

“And the mission? Were you… together?”

“No.”

Beverly smiled a little. “I wanted to kill him.”

“I know.”

“I think everyone knew.”

They laughed, breaking some of the tension between them.

“Wesley…” Beverly put a hand on Wesley’s knee. “You’re eighteen now, and I can’t make decisions for you anymore. To be honest, you’ve always had a good head on your shoulders and I’ve always trusted you to make the right decision. If you say you’re happy…”

“I am.”

“And is Will good to you?”

Wesley nodded.

“Then, for now, that’s all I need to hear. I worry about the age difference, the fact that he is your commander, and well, his reputation,” Beverly said with a small look of distaste.

“I’m realistic, Mom. I know what he’s like.” Wesley paused. “But I don’t think that’s true anymore. Besides, I’ll leave for the Academy eventually, when I reapply next year. I guess it can’t last forever, either way.”

Beverly pulled him in for a hug. “Be careful,” she said softly. “I just can’t imagine it, you know. He’s Commander Will Riker. I can’t even think of him being sweet on my son.”

“Too unbelievable, I know.”

“It’s just not something I ever thought about!” Beverly smiled. “Oh, I suppose I’ll have to think of him differently now.”

“Mom” Wesley said, horrified.

“And of course, I’ll want to see you together.”

Wesley sighed. His relationship with Riker wasn’t a delicious little secret anymore.

“Of course,” Wesley echoed.

“Will,” Beverly said thoughtfully. “I imagine he’s dying to know how that meeting went.”

“Yes,” Wesley said. “I was supposed to go see him after.”

“What will you say?”

“Dunno. That the captain is mad.”

“I don’t think he’ll be mad forever.”

Wesley scoffed.

“He cares for you,” Beverly said. “The captain, you know. He was just overloaded with a lot of shocking information. Give him some time.” She paused. “Also, speaking as a concerned mother and doctor…”

“Um.”

“I know for a fact that Will gets the contraceptive and biological bodyguard shots regularly, as does most of the crew on board,” Beverly said, her tone official. “The perks of being the ship’s doctor. You, however, need to start. Your immune and respiratory systems have already been compromised. I don’t need you catching any other diseases.”

Wesley made a face. “Yes, Mom.”

“Come by tomorrow and we’ll take care of it.”

Beverly and Wesley finished their coffee and when Wesley left, he felt somewhat lucky. The meeting had gone smoothly, all things considered. He couldn’t know what was on the captain’s mind. He hoped his mother was right, that he would come around eventually. 

 

***

 

Commander Riker stood on the bridge the following day in the back with Lieutenant Worf, overseeing some of the tactical changes they’d put into motion just that morning. Riker had been looking forward to this for weeks, and it just so happened that his position in the back of the bridge allowed him to steer clear of Captain Picard for most of the day. 

He’d met with Wesley the previous night, dying to know what had taken place during the younger man’s meeting with his mother and the captain. Wesley had been in a daze; shocked, Riker assumed, at having confessed to such a secret. Riker knew there was no way the meeting had gone smoothly, but he had been pleasantly surprised by Beverly’s reaction to the information. The captain, however, Wesley wasn’t sure. He’d warned Riker that Picard would most likely be angry with him.

Riker could understand the emotion. There was a lot to unpack in the confession. Picard liked to run an efficient, transparent ship, and the idea that something had gone on without his notice may have been a blow to his ego. Riker stayed on his toes that whole day and so far, the captain had been polite and civil with him, but very standoffish. Picard definitely wasn’t through with Riker and Wesley.

The captain disappeared into the ready room and Riker breathed a sigh of relief. The bridge had been tense for him all morning and afternoon. He wondered if he should just go talk with the captain and get it over with.

“Commander,” said Worf. “The newly situated photon torpedoes are just about ready to deploy as a test run. We have cleared the area for the missile. Once they are fully charged, we are waiting on your signal for fire, sir.”

“Shields are up?” Riker asked.

“When necessary.”

“How long until the photons are fully charged?”

“Twenty one minutes.”

“Alert any crafts in the vicinity that we are doing a test, one more time. I know we have warned them ad nauseum, but once more will ease my conscience.”

“Aye, sir.”

Riker nodded. He wasn’t so sure about the new placement of the photons, but research and simulations showed them to be more precise in their destruction this way. He leaned against the rail and watched out the window, staring into deep space. 

“Picard to Commander Riker,” came the captain’s voice on Riker’s badge. “Come see me in my quarters at your earliest convenience.”

Riker cringed. The captain knew they were in the middle of something. It must be urgent. “What about the photon test, sir?”

“That can wait. Please come.”

“At once, sir.”

“Picard out.”

Riker turned to Worf. “Hold fire until I come back out. Until then, make sure everyone in our general proximity knows what’s going on. Put out another alert to the ship. Charge the shields fully. When I return, I’d like to run some diagnostics on those, too. They seem to freeze up when they hit seventy percent.”

“Aye, sir,” replied Worf. “I have noticed that.”

Riker nodded. “The bridge is yours, Mr. Worf.”

Worf nodded solemnly, and Riker slowly began his walk to the captain’s quarters. He wondered if this was the moment when his career would be over. Was the captain about to dismiss him? A thousand and one scenarios flew through Riker’s head and when he reached the door, he took a deep breath.

He entered the room and found Picard sitting at his desk, hands folded, expression unreadable. Picard gestured for Riker to have a seat.

Riker sat, feeling more nervous than he had in a long time. Picard stared at him with expressionless eyes, and didn’t say a word.

“Sir,” Riker said quietly.

“You’ve been under my command for nearly seven years now, and I have never once questioned your judgement. Even when you were faced with great adversary, I stood by you, because I believed in and trusted you. I supported you when important choices came your way. I was always very proud to have such a fine First Officer.” Captain Picard dropped his hands and leaned forward, elbows propped on the table.

“Thank you, sir,” Riker said cautiously. 

“We have made progress as a team, you and I, have we not?”

“I believe so.”

“Indeed.” Picard nodded. “Now. I suppose you know why I have called you in to speak with me.”

Riker hesitated. “I’m aware.”

“With your help, Commander Riker, I have run a very efficient, hard-working, successful starship. For every decision I have made, you were there. You have kept us all safe and on schedule, and in my absence, you make a fine captain. You are an outstanding Starfleet officer.”

“Thank you.”

“All of that being said.” Picard stood from his desk and walked to the front. “Tell me why I should not have you dismissed and reassigned.”

Riker’s mouth dropped open, his stomach tightening. “Sir-”

“Trust is one of the most important qualities that a Starfleet officer can have, Commander Riker, and I am not sure that I can trust you anymore. I’m not sure I can put my faith in your judgement, and I certainly cannot support the decisions you have made in the recent past. It shows bad judgement, Commander, do you understand?”

“I understand, but…”

“Additionally, Commander, this information should have come to me from you.” Picard’s brows creased together, his eyes dark. “Not from Mr. Crusher.”

“We felt differently.”

“He is not my First Officer. You are. You are supposed to report to me everything that goes on here. You are supposed to be responsible, Commander Riker. You are not supposed to abuse your power by convincing a young ensign-”

“No,” Riker interrupted. “It wasn’t like that, and I won’t have you even suggest it.”

Picard’s eyes flashed. “Then why wouldn’t you come to me about it, if everything is proper and consensual? Why send the boy?”

“Because, sir, not everything is Starfleet business. Not everything that happens on this ship needs to be handled according to protocol. Some things are private, and personal,” Riker said hotly. “And with all due respect, I am not going to ask your permission to love Wesley Crusher.”

Picard sighed, rubbed at his temples. “I can’t help but think I encouraged this. I appointed you as his mentor, as the overseer of his development and education. I put Wesley in a dangerous position.”

“Dangerous?” Riker frowned. “If you feel that way… If you really feel that way, then I can’t convince you why I should stay aboard the Enterprise as First Officer. I really can’t, and I won’t.”

Riker shook his head and began to stand. He wasn’t going to sit there and be criminalized by the captain. There was no going back from that kind of accusation. He would leave, return to his quarters, and then decide what to do from there.

“Sit down, Commander,” Picard said tiredly. “Please don’t walk away.”

“I don’t see how we can civilly carry this conversation on any longer, if that’s how you feel, sir,” said Riker shortly.

“You know it isn’t,” Picard all but growled. 

“I don’t know that.”

“Understand, Commander Riker, that I have a special interest in Wesley Crusher. I’ve never had children of my own, but I think of him as my son,” Picard said, rubbing the back of his neck and frowning. “Everything he does, I am responsible for. I am proud of the man he has become, and I want nothing but the best for him. I don’t want anything to hold him back.”

“Captain Picard,” Riker said honestly. “I would never do that. I want what’s best for him, too. I was as devastated as he was when he didn’t get into the Academy. We worked so hard to get him ready. I know I’ll lose him eventually, because he can’t stay here. That’s the reality. Until then, the ball is in his court. Wesley is calling all the shots. I’m just lucky enough that he wants me around while he’s still here. And as it stands right now, I’d wait for him. Whatever he wants.”

Picard let out a low breath. “You mentioned love, before. Do you love him, Commander?”

“Yes.”

“I am shocked, you realize. You could have denied all of this.”

“I disagree, sir. Wholeheartedly.”

“Yes,” agreed Picard. “That is not the kind of man you are.”

Riker waited.

“And if I were to have you reassigned, Commander,” Picard went on. “Would you stay in contact with Mr. Crusher?”

“Absolutely,” Riker replied. “If he wanted to.”

“What about when he inevitably goes off to Academy?” Picard asked. “Won’t you want him to be free to meet new people? Experience everything?”

 

“Yes,” Riker said instantly, though it pained him to think about it. “He should have every opportunity.”

“It’s easy to just say the words, Commander.”

Riker didn’t know how to respond to that. 

“I suppose there is nothing further I can do. I’ve said my piece. You’re both adults and I cannot forbid you to continue with your relationship. I’m not happy about it, and I cannot say that I approve. I have my reservations, and there will be rules put in place.”

“Yes, sir,” Riker said quietly. “I’m very sorry it happened this way.”

“Yes, well,” Picard said with a sigh. “You’re dismissed, Commander.”

Riker frowned. “Dismissed?”

“From the meeting,” Picard said sternly. “We’re done here. Please do not test my patience. Go back to work, Number One.”

Riker felt his spirits lift at the familiar nickname, and he left the ready room, not feeling like the condemned man he thought he would. He was worried, however, The captain didn’t approve. Well, Riker wasn’t surprised. He was lucky to have made it out of that meeting still a high ranking Starfleet officer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you!


	7. Chapter 7

The holodeck corridor was quieter than usual. Normally people milled about, waiting to schedule their program or seeing if by chance one of the holodecks was unoccupied (a rare occurrence). Tonight, however, there was an eerie, lonely feel to the place, and Riker walked through the deck tiredly.

He’d just finished his shift on the bridge - it had been difficult to stay on duty, especially supervising the photon test, after the tongue-lashing he’d received from Picard. Riker hadn’t been scolded like that since he was a very young man. He felt small and insignificant; embarrassed. He hadn’t been able to look the captain in the eye for the rest of the evening.

But it was over. The news of Riker and Wesley was out, and the cat couldn’t be put back in the bag. Riker felt like he was living in some post-apocalyptic world, unsure of his bearings.

He was very sure of one thing, though. He loved Wesley.

Riker arrived at Holodeck-3, and saw that it was in use. He smiled and went inside. The current occupant didn’t have the clearance to lock his holodeck doors just yet.

What Riker saw when he went inside shocked him. It was a simulation of his own quarters, and at the dinner table were Wesley Crusher and himself, sitting quietly, enjoying dinner. The simulation Riker gazed fondly at the flushed, smiling simulation Wesley. Riker realized what this was; it was their first dinner together, when they’d admitted their feelings.

“Hey.”

Riker started, and then looked around. Behind him, sitting on the floor, was the real Wesley Crusher. He had his back to the wall and his knees were pulled to his chest.

“Wesley,” Riker said. He crouched down to Wesley’s level and touched Wesley’s face. Wesley smiled and leaned into the touch like a cat being pet. “What’s all this?”

Wesley nodded toward the simulation. “You know. You were there.”

“Yes.” Riker looked over his shoulder at the quiet scene. His heart ached a little at how earnest they both looked. He remembered the feeling well. “But why are you watching this?”

Wesley shrugged a shoulder. “I don’t know. It’s nice.” He looked at Riker, hazel eyes obscured by dark lashes. “You picked me.”

Riker eased himself down onto the floor with Wesley and sat beside him. Wesley scooted closer and dropped his head on Riker’s shoulder.

“Maybe you picked me,” Riker said.

“No. No way.” Wesley kissed Riker’s neck, and Riker slid a hand onto Wesley’s thigh. “You could have anyone on the ship… No, you could have anyone in the galaxy. Anyone. Any they want you, too.”

Riker sighed. “That doesn’t matter.”

“It does to me. It means a lot. You chose me.”

“Of course I did,” Riker said. “How could I not?”

Wesley smiled, seemingly placated.

“I just had a conversation with the captain,” Riker said vaguely.

“And?” Wesley sat up, faced Riker.

Riker hesitated. He could tell Wesley the whole thing. He could pound all of his anxieties and fears down on Wesley, share the burden of what the captain had told him. Riker didn’t want to do that.

“He’s angry with me,” Riker said lightly. “And he cares about you very much.”

“I knew he’d be angry.” Wesley frowned. “Why just with you?”

“Because… I’m your commanding officer, Wesley. I’m the older one, here. I-”

“Abused your power, I know. I told him you didn’t.”

“That doesn’t make it look any better. He implied that I was dangerous.” Riker shook his head. “That I was some predator and you’re vulnerable. That I took advantage of that.”

“That can’t be what he thinks of you. You’re his most trusted officer.”

“It’s not great,” Riker agreed.

“Maybe I should leave you alone.” Wesley paused. “Maybe I should leave the ship.”

“That’s a great idea. Then we can both be miserable.”

“I didn’t say it was a good idea.”

They smiled at each other, and Riker pulled Wesley in for a kiss as their simulation doppelgangers enjoyed dinner, unaware of how tense things would become.

“So what do we do now?” Wesley asked softly.

“We go on. We don’t hide anymore. I think we need to show the captain and the others that this changes nothing, that nothing will be affected by our being together. We’re normal. We’re happy. We meet up in Ten Forward. We walk down the halls together. We make plans with each other. Go places.” Riker shrugged. “You know.”

“That sounds kind of nice,” Wesley replied. “But the captain.”

“He’s not angry with you,” Riker clarified. “You let me worry about the captain. He thinks of you like a son, you know.”

Wesley made a face.

“You could do a lot worse,” said Riker with a laugh.

Wesley made a sound of acknowledgement, and scooted close to Riker again, leaning his head on his shoulder. They stayed like that for a while, watching themselves dine and flirt and talk. Every once in awhile the simulation couple shared a touch or a kiss, and the real couple would copy the gesture.

“So much simpler,” Wesley murmured.

“But think of it. No hiding anymore,” Riker pointed out. “No lying. I for one am relieved about that.”

“There’s still a lot of people who don’t know.”

“They will.”

Wesley nodded. “As you say, Commander.”

“Call me Will. I insist.”

“We’ll see.”

“Also…” Riker kissed Wesley’s lips. “I get to show you off now.”

Wesley grinned. “Claim me as your property.”

“You’re mine,” agreed Riker. He lay Wesley down on the floor and crawled over him, marking him with ownership, dropping kisses all up and down Wesley’s neck and collarbone. Wesley whimpered and writhed under Riker, his hands scrambling for purchase on Riker’s back.

“That was delicious,” said Simulation Wesley at the table.

“I’m glad you liked it,” replied Simulation Riker. “Can I offer you anything else?”

“Just…” Simulation Wesley touched his lips, and Simulation Riker smiled and stood to kiss him.

Wesley laughed underneath Riker. “So stupid.”

“Are you kidding? You had me wrapped around your finger,” Riker said. “You still do.”

Wesley exhaled, a wheeze catching in his throat. “Can we go back to your quarters?”

Riker nodded. “And leave these two?”

“They’ll be fine.”

“Come on.” Riker stood and then pulled Wesley up with him. Wesley looked around, gazing at the simulation for a few moments before saying, “Computer. End program.”

The holodeck glimmered and then switched to its default setting.

The door opened, and now there were people milling around. Riker nudged Wesley forward and kept a hand on the small of his back. Wesley gave Riker a somewhat nervous look.

“Let’s go,” Riker said softly. He wrapped a hand around Wesley’s waist and they walked out that way, among the people. Wesley relaxed and stayed close to Riker, and they entered a turbolift.

They shared a kiss as the turbolift took them to Riker’s floor, and then they cozily walked down the hall to his quarters, Riker’s arm around Wesley’s waist. They passed several people who glanced at them, some with curious expressions, others not noticing anything in the slightest. When they reached Riker’s door, Wesley stepped in first, letting out a long sigh.

“Are you gonna make it?” Riker teased.

“People saw.”

“Horrifying, I know.”

Wesley nudged Riker. “You know what I mean.”

Riker pulled Wesley into a hot embrace. “I hope they did. Get used to it, cadet. We’re out.”

“Eek.”

 

***

 

Beverly and Captain Picard sat down for a drink at Ten Forward, both tired from working too hard and too long. They settled together with two flutes of white wine and sipped silently for a few moments.

“You look exhausted,” Beverly commented after a while.

“So do you,” Picard replied with a wry smile. “Thank you for meeting me.”

“I had a feeling you would want to talk.”

Picard set down his glass. “Well, don’t you?”

“If we’re referring to the same topic, I think I have less of a problem with it than you do.”

“Don’t make me sound so…so...:”

Beverly smiled and shrugged a shoulder. “What’s on your mind?”

“What I want to know, is how you can be so forgiving,” Picard said. “Wesley is your son. Your flesh and blood.”

“Because, Jean Luc,” Beverly replied. “You wouldn’t know because you don’t live with Wesley, but I have heard nothing for the past couple of years about Commander Riker. Commander Riker this, Commander Riker that. It was a case of hero worship the likes of which may never be seen again.”

“And?”

“And I know how kind and good Will is to Wesley. I know how hard they worked to make sure Wesley would get into the Academy. I know how happy Wesley has been these past months, while he and Will were together, apparently.” Beverly took a long sip of her wine. “I see things as a mother that calm me.”

“But the age difference… the ranking…” Picard shook his head.

“Fourteen years. I’m not wild about it, either, but it seems to be working at the moment.”

“I wasn’t even aware that Wesley was homosexual,” Picard said quietly.

“He told me a few months ago. It’s all very new.”

“I wish you’d told me.”

“Jean Luc, really. It was private. I would never betray Wesley’s confidence like that.” Beverly frowned.

“Well, it’s public knowledge now,” Picard said briskly. “And I have to work with the two of them. Sometimes together. Many times together.”

“So what? I’m sure they’re discreet. They have been all this time.”

“It’s a matter of…” Picard sighed. “I’m supposed to know what is happening on my ship, Beverly. I feel like I’ve failed as captain. Complete chaos could reign and I wouldn’t know any better.”

“That’s a bit hyperbolic,” Beverly said with a smirk.

“Is it? I’m not sure.”

“You’re just not ready for Wesley to be an adult, act like an adult. Believe me, Jean Luc, I’m not ready either. Just yesterday it feels like he was knee-high and running around with a toy starship.” Beverly paused. “I think you need to wait and see how they are together. I think you’ll be surprised when you find there’s no difference at all. They’re both very professional and care about their careers.”

“Have you seen them together yet?” Picard asked.

“No. I imagine they’re feeling the spotlight on them now. A lot of pressure.”

“I wouldn’t mind if Commander Riker felt it a bit stronger.”

“Forgive him. He meant no harm. You can’t control love.”

“Love,” Picard said disdainfully.

“Yes, love. This could be the real thing, and I don’t want to spoil it for them. Maybe you’ve never experienced something so impulsive,” Beverly said. “Something so ridiculous and nonsensical and uncontrollable. I hope you have, Jean Luc, I really do.”

“This isn’t about me,” Picard said with a frown.

“You’re right. It’s not. So please stop taking their actions as a personal affront,” replied Beverly. “It’s about them and believe it or not, I don’t think they are trying to make your life difficult.”

“Beverly…”

“I lost someone once,” she said soberly. “Someone who meant the world to me, the father of my child. Once something like that happens… it changes your outlook on things.”

“I understand,” the captain said.

“I hope you will,” Beverly said gently.

“I suppose the important factor, for me, is whether or not Wesley reapplies for the Academy. Whether or not he gets in, and leaves our ship.”

“He will. I have no doubts about that.”

“You don’t think he purposely sabotaged himself in order to stay here with Commander Riker?” Picard asked.

“Absolutely not. What good would come of it?” Beverly paused. “But you can’t criminalize them for being happy that they will be together a bit longer.”

“I suppose not,” Picard said grudgingly. “There is something we can do, though. We can have Wesley receive academic credits for working here. I have already made the inquiries. It won’t be a year lost.”

Beverly smiled. “Jean Luc, you old softy.”

Picard waved a dismissive hand and took a long sip from his glass. “I’ll supervise it. It’s no longer appropriate for Number One to do so.”

“So he is still your number one,” Beverly teased.

“God help me, yes.There will be new rules put in place, but William Riker is still the finest First Officer in the galaxy.”

“I agree.” Beverly held up her glass and they clinked companionably.

 

***

 

Riker walked to his quarters after a brief visit to Engineering when he bumped into Beverly, her uniform and lab coat on.

“Beverly,” Riker greeted cautiously. He hadn’t spoken to her since it all came out.

“Will,” Beverly replied. “How are you?”

“I’m fine enough.” Riker paused a moment. “You know.”

“I do,” Beverly said slowly.

They stood there for a moment, neither saying a word.

“I want to apologize,” Riker finally said.

“For what? Loving my son?”

Riker frowned. Right to the point. “No.”

“Then you have nothing to apologize for.” Beverly smiled and raised a hand. “And you’re smart enough for me not to give you the talk about what happens if you hurt him.”

“And what if he hurts me?” A handsome smirk.

“Wesley’s an adult. He can do what he likes.”

“That’s fair,” Riker said with a small laugh.

“I won’t say anymore. Life resumes as normal now, as far as I’m concerned,” Beverly said.

“I would like that.”

Beverly nodded, smiling warmly up at Riker. “And I expect to sit down with you both and have dinner soon.”

“I expected no less.”

Suddenly, Wesley came walking down the hall toward them, and he beamed upon seeing Riker. He was fresh faced and tidy in his ensign uniform, a light bounce in his gait. When he saw his mother, he slowed his steps.

“It’s all right, Wesley,” Beverly said. “I’m done grilling him.”

Wesley looked at Riker, horrified.

“Come here,” said Riker, and he bridged the gap between them and went to put an arm around Wesley’s shoulders. Wesley stiffened, keeping his eyes on his mother.

“Wesley, relax,” said Beverly. “Go have a drink with Will.”

“Really?” Wesley looked up at Riker, who shrugged.

“Yes, sweetheart. And be sure to see the captain, first thing in the morning. He told me to tell you that he has some things to go over with you,” said Beverly.

Wesley stiffened again.

“Nothing bad,” Beverly added soothingly.

“Do you know anything about this?” Wesley asked Riker.

“I might.”

Wesley sighed. “All right.”

“Have a good evening, gentlemen,” Beverly said. She placed a hand on Wesley’s cheek, stroked lovingly. “I’m off to sick bay.”

“Good night, Beverly,” said Riker amiably.

“Bye, Mom.” Wesley turned to Riker again. “Tell me?”

“No, no,” Riker replied, leaning forward to kiss Wesley chastely. “Let’s get you a drink.”

“Tell me.”

“Come on,” Riker said, taking Wesley by the arm and pulling him down the hall.

“Commander…”

Riker raised an eyebrow. “You know, it’s kind of sexy when you call me that now.”

“I know,” Wesley said smugly.

“I see.” Riker pulled Wesley into a hot kiss and Wesley squirmed in his hold, flushed all over, pressing his hips and groin against Riker. Wesley was hard and Riker licked his lips.

“Maybe no drink?” Wesley whispered.

“Yeah. No. Let’s go to my place,” Riker said hotly. “I have a better idea. Going to eat you alive.”

“As you wish, Commander.”

Riker slapped Wesley’s ass and pulled him further down the hall until they disappeared into Riker’s quarters.

***

 

Wesley appeared before the captain’s desk in his ready room the next morning, bright and early. Wesley had spent the night with Riker, a common occurrence these days, and he had gotten up early to make sure he looked shipshape and as obedient as possible. He’d swooped his hair neatly and put on a fresh, clean uniform, pressed at all the angles and pleats. His combadge was secure and in the regulation position. His shoes were shined and he pinched his cheeks to give himself some color, so as not to appear the pale nervous wreck that he was.

“Mr. Crusher,” Picard greeted coolly.

Wesley bowed his head in respect. “Sir.”

“I’m glad you came,” Picard said. “We have a few things to discuss.”

“Sir,” Wesley said again, wobbling slightly.

“Have a seat.” Picard tapped a few times on his computer screen and then directed his attention fully to Wesley. “I expect you’ve had a lot on your mind lately.”

Wesley frowned. That much was true. His new relationship with Riker, his Starfleet rejection, his general nerves regarding both of those things. “I guess so, sir.”

“And you’ve been avoiding me.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I only want to support you, Mr. Crusher, and help in any way that I can to make sure that you are moving forward and on track with your future,” Picard said, business-like. “I realize that the past few days have been rather tense. Certain things have come to light and you did not get the reaction you’d hoped for.”

“I’m not sure what I was hoping for,” Wesley replied quietly. “I just wanted… I didn’t want to lie to you.”

“I appreciate that. I always appreciate honesty.” Picard leaned back in his chair. “I’m not angry with you, Mr. Crusher.”

“I know.”

“I’m not even angry with Commander Riker anymore,” Picard went on. “I’m not thrilled with the idea, but it’s not something I can control. However, there will be rules put in place. You understand that I cannot in good conscious allow Commander Riker to give you orders anymore?”

Wesley nodded. “I’m sorry, sir.”

“This means that I will not have the two of your working together as frequently as you are used to,” Picard said. “Understand that I am not punishing either of you. It’s about safety, and protocol. When a decision can no longer be made objectively, we try to remove the emotional factor.”

“I understand.”

“He will continue to oversee your education and report to me on any advancements you have made in that field. I feel that he cares genuinely about your well-being and will be a good figure to remain in that position.”

“But my education is over, sir,” Wesley said, brows knit.

“Ah.” Picard stood and picked up one of the tablets on his desk. He tapped it a few times and handed it to Wesley. “That’s where you’re wrong. I have spoken to some contacts at Starfleet Academy and we have all come to the agreement that while you remain on the Enterprise as a full ensign, you can receive credit towards your future degree.”

Wesley began to smile as he looked at the screen. The illuminated document outlined the program.

“You will do projects in Engineering and work closely with Commander La Forge, along with Commander Data. They will get the credentials to supervise your academic progress, and I will sign off on it,” Picard said. “You will work hard as an ensign, and Commander Riker and I will work together to come up with a few more missions for you to participate in. These missions will be relevant to your curriculum.”

Wesley looked up at the captain, beaming. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say that you will work hard and reapply to the Academy for the next academic year,” Picard said, a bit sternly. “We have put our necks out for you and you will not repay us by wasting this opportunity. This is your career, Mr. Crusher. This is your life. I cannot control what you do or what happens to you, but I can pave the way so that you can achieve the greatness you were meant for.” He paused. “And I know you will.”

The door beeped, and Commander Riker came inside. Picard nodded to him, and Riker smiled at Wesley.

“Ensign Crusher,” Riker greeted formally. “Captain.”

“I’ve just finished telling Mr. Crusher about the plans for his studies,” Picard said to Riker.

“What do you think, Wes?” Riker asked.

“I still don’t know what to say,” Wesley replied, his face flushed. “This is incredible.”

“It’s a rare opportunity,” Riker agreed. “Only given to those who are exceptional.”

Picard regarded the compliment given to Wesley with a curt nod. “I think we will all benefit from having you here another year.”

“Thank you,” Wesley said gratefully.

“I’ve updated Mr. Crusher on the new rules,” Picard said to Riker. “I think you both understand why they are necessary.”

Riker nodded once and caught Wesley’s eye. Wesley frowned and blinked slowly.

“We are at your command, sir,” Riker said charmingly.

“Good. Good. You’re both dismissed. Mr. Crusher, you will begin earning credit at the beginning of the Starfleet academic year. That gives you a week.” Picard eyed Wesley levelly. “Consider it a vacation compared to what comes next.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Number One, the bridge is yours,” said Picard. “Thank you.”

Wesley and Riker shuffled out of the captain’s room and stood to one side of the bridge.

“No more working together,” Wesley murmured.

“Not as much,” Riker agreed. “We’ll call it a success.”

“But I love working with you.”

“The captain just doesn’t want me giving you orders,” said Riker with a cockeyed smile. “It makes him uncomfortable. Me too, actually.”

“But Commander…”

Riker groaned. “That’s exactly why we can’t work together. You call me that and I get ideas.”

“What else should I call you, Commander? Sir?”

“Will. Call me Will.”

“No way,” said Wesley with a devilish grin. Riker kissed his cheek chastely, there on the bridge while other people milled around on the job. Wesley looked around; no one seemed to notice or care.

“See you later, Cadet,” Riker said.

“Aye, sir.” Wesley stole another quick kiss and left the bridge.

 

***

 

Wesley stood in Engineering, watching the progress of a diagnostic test, and he yawned discreetly. He couldn’t wait for the day when they trusted him to do more than just run diagnostics solo, and he knew he was up to the task. He was a competent engineer. His confidence had been boosted since his meeting with the captain about his academic future. Wesley was ready for bigger projects.

“How’s it coming, Wes?” Geordi asked, stepping up behind him.

“Sixty-seven percent clear,” Wesley replied. “Slow going.”

“Thorough,” Geordi corrected him. “Don’t ever mistake the two.”

“Slow and thorough,” Wesley suggested. “And dull.”

“Now you’re getting it.” Geordi smiled. “Listen, I know this is a little below you, but I appreciate all the help. We’ve got some exciting projects coming up for you.”

Wesley grinned and resumed his work, staring at the slow (yet thorough) test and taking notes here and there. As he worked, a few more of the engineering crew came in, talking amongst themselves, sounding anxious and annoyed. Wesley turned to watch them as they crowded around Geordi.

“Did you see these orders from Picard and Riker?” one of them asked, thrusting a tablet at Geordi. “Look at the deadline. Look at it, Commander.”

Geordi took the tablet and studied the order. “A complete refit of engine four in three days.” He scoffed. “Unlikely.”

“I hate when they do this,” the other engineer griped. “Like we have nothing better to do than stand around, wait for their orders, and then drop everything to make a miracle happen.”

Geordi knit his brow and nodded discreetly towards Wesley.

“Oh,” the engineer murmured, scowling.

Wesley watched, amused. “What? A whole refit in three days? Do they think we’re wizards over here?”

They laughed, and Geordi stepped over to take Wesley aside. “I’m glad you said that. I wanted to talk to you about this, actually, Wes.”

“About what?”

“Me and the guys…” Geordi nodded toward the other men and women working in Engineering. “We like to blow off steam every once in awhile. It gets busy, we get complicated orders from the captain and Riker, and we talk. You know?”

“Sure.” Wesley was confused.

“I know you’re…” Geordi shrugged a shoulder. “With Commander Riker. Together.”

Wesley smiled, ears burning. “Yes.”

“I don’t know if we should clean up our act around here or just watch it when you’re around…”

Wesley frowned. “Commander La Forge, I’m not going to run and tell the Captain and Commander Riker every time you or anyone else here says or does something they wouldn’t approve of. Why do I care?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, and like I said, three days? That’s an impossible order. They’d know that if they knew anything about Engineering. Which they don’t. Nothing truly useful, anyway.”

Geordi grinned and clapped Wesley on the back. “All right, all right. We were a little worried about the First Officer’s sweetheart being around so much.”

Wesley groaned.

“Don’t worry, Wes, I’ll tell them it’s fine. Just be sure to make some comments like that and we’ll all be fine.” Geordi nudged him. “Maybe I can even get you to convince Riker not to work us so hard.”

“Doubt it.” Wesley smiled wryly.

“I see.” Geordi smiled anyway, and clapped Wesley on the back one more time. “You’ll be overworked, anyway. You need to earn those academy credits.”

“I intend to,” Wesley said earnestly.

“Well, get back to your test then, Ensign,” Geordi replied with a nod.

Wesley walked back over to his station as Geordi and the others crowded around the tablet, griping about the assignment and then trying to figure out how they could make it work. Wesley shook his head and smiled. He was dying to tell Riker about the experience, but then he decided he’d keep it to himself. He felt the Engineering team had accepted him into their club, and he didn’t want to ruin that.

 

***

 

Riker gazed across the table at Wesley, as they sat companionably, intimately, together in Ten Forward. Riker kept a hand on Wesley’s thigh under the table, uncaring of who saw. They were together, they were public, and no one was telling them what to do or how to act. 

Wesley reached and stroked a finger along Riker’s wrist and Riker smiled darkly, his eyes glinting.

“Feeling more comfortable?” Riker asked.

“Getting there,” Wesley replied. He pulled at one of Riker’s fingers, smiling impishly. Riker responded by squeezing Wesley’s thigh. Wesley squirmed, Riker’s thumb dangerously close to Wesley’s arousal. Wesley threw a heavy-lidded look at Riker and smiled again. He gestured to his drink. “This helps.”

“Soon you will be proud to be seen with me without being tipsy.”

Wesley scoffed at the teasing words. “You know what I mean.”

“I do.” Riker leaned in close. “For what it’s worth, I am always proud to be seen with you, Cadet.”

Wesley blushed and set down his drink. “Oh,” he groaned. “Cadet. Tomorrow morning all the Academy recruits will be shuttling out.”

“I know.” Riker paused, giving Wesley’s thigh a gentler squeeze. “You want to talk about it?”

Wesley sighed lightly. “No. I know I’ll be there someday. Maybe.”

“You will.” Riker winked. “If I have anything to say about it.”

“A slow, long initiation for me?” Wesley asked bashfully.

Riker’s eyes darkened with desire. “You know, it was only two Cadets,” he said. “And I wouldn’t have called it initiation. Long time ago. I was young, too.”

“A happy, sexy send-off, then?”

“More like it.” Riker grinned. “That’s ancient history, though.”

“Seems more like a current event.” Wesley squirmed as Riker gripped his thigh again, this time with purpose. “Hope I’m worth it.”

“You’ll go someday soon, and you’ll be fantastic,” Riker told Wesley. “Partly because I’ll teach you, and mostly because you don’t know how to be any other way.”

“Commander…”

“Will,” Riker groaned. “Call me Will, god damn it.”

“I don’t think so,” Wesley said playfully. 

Riker stared at the boy across the table and felt arousal burn in his belly. “Have it your way.”

Wesley sipped his drink, a little smile in place. 

Riker sat back in his chair and downed the rest of his own drink. Ten Forward was milling with people now, as shifts were changing and families were coming together to spend a little time together before they had to work again. He saw Chief O’Brien with his wife and baby, he saw Geordi sitting at the bar, most likely waiting for a date. Data sat beside him, not understanding the human social cue that Geordi gave him, that he wanted to be left alone for when she arrived. Riker laughed and shook his head. The world continued to spin; he knew he and Wesley would be just fine.

“What is it?” Wesley asked.

“Nothing. Lean in, I want to tell you something.”

Wesley set down his empty glass and moved toward Riker, who captured his lips in an intimate kiss. The younger man leaned in further, pressing their faces together, and Riker brought a hand up to caress Wesley’s jaw. Wesley laughed softly as he licked at Riker’s lips, and Riker pulled away while he still had some self control.

Wesley’s eyes darted around after, and Riker laughed again.

“Expecting to get arrested?” Riker asked.

“No one cares?” Wesley ventured.

“No one cares.”

Wesley sighed, a half-smile playing on his lips. “Good, because…” He stood from his chair, cheeks flushed. “It’s pretty obvious that I want to go back to your place and, yeah.”

“Yeah?”

Wesley raised his brows. “Yes.”

Riker grinned. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“I’ll show you.” Wesley tugged at one of Riker’s hands, but the older man didn’t budge.

“Show me here.”

“If I did, then we probably would get arrested. Public indecency would be a start.”

Riker laughed, loving the look of frustration and desire on Wesley’s face. It became him. 

“Please, Commander?”

The magic words. Riker groaned and stood from his chair, wrapping an arm around Wesley’s waist. As they walked out of Ten Forward, Riker waved to several people, a tacit good night. He focused his attention on the squirming boy walking next to him, and as they rounded a corner to an empty hallway, Wesley all but assaulted Riker’s person with desire.

Riker captured Wesley’s hands in his own and allowed the younger man to push him against the wall. Wesley peppered Riker’s neck and jaw with hot kisses and Riker felt all the heat slide down to his groin.

“We’re, uh…” Riker kissed Wesley’s lips, enjoyed the feeling of Wesley’s hands all over him. “We’re not there yet.”

“I know.” Wesley pressed their bodies together, slid his hands around Riker’s trim waist. 

Riker took Wesley by the shoulders and reversed their positions, and now Wesley was the one pushed against the wall. Wesley had a devious smile on his face, and Riker leaned in close.

“Gonna get you home…” Riker breathed in Wesley’s ear.

“Yeah.”

“Peel your clothes off.”

Wesley nodded.

“Explore every centimeter of you like a map.”

Wesley shivered.

“Touch every part of you.”

“Yes,” Wesley whispered.

“And then… fireworks,” Riker said. He released the younger man and took a step back. Wesley’s face was flushed red, his eyes wide. His shoulders drooped and he leaned against Riker, settling like liquid.

“Okay,” Wesley said softly.

Riker wrapped an arm around Wesley’s waist again, and they strolled to Riker’s quarters. 

 

***

 

The shuttle bay was filled with activity early the next morning. It was the morning that the cadets were shipping off for Academy, and they milled around the bay, saying goodbye to their families, pulling their luggage around, and going over last-minute to-do lists. They all wore their freshly pressed, crisp cadet uniforms. Each young man and woman had a look of excitement and terror on their faces. A few were fighting off tears, as were some family members. Certain cadets strutted around the bay with a feigned confidence. 

And Wesley Crusher sat on a pile of overturned cargo crates, hidden from the activity. He watched his former classmates getting ready to embark on their futures. He watched them succeed where he had failed.

Wesley knew he would get there someday. It was his destiny, he was sure of that. He couldn’t imagine a future for himself that did not involve Starfleet. This knowledge didn’t make that morning hurt any less. He was rubbing salt in his own wound by watching the cadets depart.

Silently, Riker appeared beside him, and took a seat. He handed Wesley a hot coffee and Wesley couldn’t look at him.

“I figured you’d be here,” Riker said quietly.

“Why? This is the very last place I should be,” Wesley replied.

“Because you’re strong,” Riker said. “You can survive anything, even watching these cadets take off on what should’ve been your ride.”

“It was never my ride.” Wesley made himself look at Riker. “I didn’t earn it.”

“But you will.”

They watched quietly as the cadets boarded the shuttle, and the families waved goodbye. 

“That’ll be you, someday,” Riker said. “You won’t stay here as ensign forever. You’re too good, Wesley Crusher.”

“You’d say goodbye to me?” Wesley asked.

“I would. I’d have to.” Riker frowned. “Not saying it won’t be hard.”

Wesley nodded.

”But we’ll deal with that when it happens,” Riker said, his smile not quite reaching his blue eyes. He slipped an arm around Wesley’s shoulders, and Wesley lay his head against Riker.

The shuttle came to life, and hummed with energy. The last of the luggage was loaded into the storage compartments, and the pilot gave the signal that he was ready for liftoff.

“Last chance,” Riker said, nudging Wesley. “You could still catch it.”

“I think I’ll stay.” Wesley smiled at Riker, his nerves disappearing at once. “Thanks for coming down here. I really… I love you.”

Riker kissed Wesley’s neck, murmuring, “I love you,” against Wesley’s skin.

Wesley beamed, still not used to the sweet declaration coming from the older man he’d admired for so many years. They shared a long kiss as the shuttle took off, taking the cadets to Academy. He thought that it wasn’t so bad, being left behind on the Enterprise. He would get experience that no other incoming cadet had, he had more time to get physically stronger, he was in love, and he was well loved in return.

The hatch opened and the shuttle left the Enterprise. Wesley watched the shuttle through the window, watched as it got smaller and smaller until it disappeared amongst the stars. It was gone.

“Are you okay?” Riker asked.

“I’m good,” Wesley replied. “I’m really good.”

“I’ll make staying worth your time,” Riker said, pulling Wesley up to stand. “And, well, you have to work for it, anyway,” he added with a wink.

Wesley groaned. “I don’t know who’s worse. You or Captain Picard.”

“Oh, I am,” Riker said. “You’ll see.”

Wesley grinned and allowed himself to be pulled out of the shuttle bay. Riker tugged him into a long kiss, and they they went their separate ways: Riker to the bridge, and Wesley to Engineering. 

Wesley walked down the familiar halls, touching his lips, Riker’s kiss lingering, the promise of more to come later. He knew he wouldn’t be safe on the Enterprise forever. He knew he would be challenged one day outside of the ship’s walls. It would be his turn to ride that shuttle out to the unknown, and he wasn’t sure if he could face it.

His combadge beeped. “Did I mention how sexy you look today?” came Riker’s voice, low and playful.

Wesley laughed and tapped to reply. “Commander, we’re on duty.”

“Come on. The Captain never said we couldn’t send dirty messages over combadge.”

“Acknowledged,” Wesley said cheekily.

“Have a great morning, beautiful.”

“Aye, sir,” Wesley said softly. “Crusher out.”

Wesley arrived at Engineering and took a deep breath. Yes, he knew he could face anything in the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much! I appreciate it if you have made it this far. I really enjoyed writing these characters, and am working on something new at the moment. I hope you enjoyed the story and again, thank you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
